Orchids ∼ A Kuroken Story

°epilogue°

approximately a year and a half later 

I sat at the foot of my bed streaming a QNA, my cat pudding was curled up in my lap sleeping soundly, I smiled to myself. It's been around a year since Kuro's death, his funeral was beautiful. I gave a speech, I was practically sobbing by the end of it and needed Akaashi and Bokuto to comfort me. My mother was there and so was his; I spoke to her, she was a nice woman.

.

"I'm sorry.." I told her as a singular tear fell from my face.

"For what dear?" Her eyes were red and puffy from crying but she managed a smile.

"For being a bad boyfriend to your son" I bowed "I'm sorry Mrs. Kuroo"

I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up to see her smiling at me, 

"I'm sure Tetsuro would think differently" She said "He always talked about how you were the love of his life, he planned to marry you but I told him to hold his horses"

She chucked, running a hand through her thin hair, "The boy's father would have been proud of him to have found someone like you to love"

I smiled for the first time in awhile but then immediately looked down at my shoes in guilt. How could I be smiling when my boyfriend had just passed away?

"Tetsuro would have wanted us both to move on Kenma" I kept my eyes glued to the floor and just nodded "I know it sounds cliché but it's true, he would want you to live your life to the fullest even without him"

And with that she walked away.

.

Recently things have been getting more on track in my life. Bokuto, Akaashi, and I hang out a lot and they make videos with me sometimes. I took over Kuro's channel but I barely post on it, it's too painful. 

Everything is painful. 

I'd open Instagram to find edits and appreciation posts dedicated to Kuro. I make sure to like and sometimes comment on as many as I can but each time I see one I'm painfully reminded that I'm single now and my light is gone.

Sitting here streaming on twitch at the foot of my bed, answering questions with my cat in my lap, I felt a sense of  déjà vu.

Around 2 years ago I had done this exact same thing, it also happened to be how Kuro and I met..

I looked around the chat trying to find a question to answer in attempt to mask my glumness; My eyes widened at the question I had found that a new watcher had written.

"No I don't have a lover" I felt a tear roll down my cheek as my lips curled into a closed-eyed smile.

"not anymore"