The Vow

14

I'm still in night shift, Andito lang ako sa may rooftop ng ospital nagpapalipas ng break ko.

The clouds really makes me feel at ease. I can feel my freedom whenever I look at the sky and the clouds.

Pagka-out ko bukas, didiretso ako sa airport kasi pupunta kami ng Palawan na pamilya, kasama rin mga pinsan ko at friends ni Kuya, so meaning Elijah will be there, also for my birthday narin, dun na kami magcecelebrate.

I felt someone seat beside me pero nakatingin lang talaga ako sa ulap. I know who sat beside me, hindi ko nalang rin sinisikap na umiwas dahil wala rin mangyayari, him and my brother are bestfriends and he's my colleague too, and also my psychiatrist.

Bahala na kung ano mangyari, kung masaktan edi iyak. Ganon nalang siguro.

"You adore the sky so much" he said.

Napatingin ako sa kanya na nakatingin narin sa ulap.

I adore the guy beside me too.

"Do you wanna know why?"

"May I know why?" He asked.

I rested my head sa sandalan ng bench na inuupuan namin at nakangiting tumingin sa ulap ulit.

"It gives me the feeling of being free" sabi ko.

"How?" He asked. I can feel him looking at me, pero hindi ko nalang binigyan ng meaning. Kasi malamang kausap nya ako kaya nakatingin sya sakin.

"The day we flew to Australia was the day I became free from hell, the clouds witnessed my freedom. Whenever I see the clouds or just by looking at the sky, I am always reminded that I am free now. Wala ng makakasakit sakin, I escaped hell and the clouds are my witness that I am strong for escaping it"

"Are you really free? Are you freeing yourself?" He asked.

"I wasn't. You're right, hindi ako lalaya hanggang hindi ko tinutulungan sarili ko. When Daddy had an accident, I got so mad at her, kasi si Daddy nalang yung meron ako. I know I have Kuya, Ate Gina, my cousins, my relatives, and Mommy Ella. Pero they were with me when I became free. But, the only person I had while I was fighting hell was Daddy. He's the only one I had since I was fighting hell until we became free from that hell. He's everything to me, kapag nawala si Daddy, I'd rather be gone too. He's my bestfriend, boyfriend, he's my superdad, and he's my sanity, and I don't want to lose my sanity. Nung sinabi ko yun kay Mommy, regarding my past, and when Daddy told me that Mommy told him everything I told Mommy. He cried, I saw him weak again, and because of me again, pero naisip ko nun, mas ok na to, kesa naman ipahamak ko buhay namin noon, gumaan yung loob ko. After that, pinadama nila sakin na kasama ko sila, not just as my support system, but, they are really with me, fighting with me, willing to fight all my demons with me, and I feel happy, genuinely contented finally"

"Don't forget that you also have me. If only I can fight your demons for you, I will do it. If only I can stop your nightmares I will fucking do it. You have me, Beka. I am more than willing to hold your hand while we are all fighting your demons. I want to be the person holding your hand when you feel lonely, happy, cheerful, and when you finally found your freedom. I want to be that person beside you, the person you will need in your life, and I swear, I will be more than happy if you let me in your life, it's like I won the lottery" he said.

Nilingon ko sya, but, upon doing so, I suddenly felt his lips on mine. I got shock, but, his lips is so soft, and I feel so safe and secured in his kiss.

Diba dapat tinutulak ko sya?

He kissed me without notice, diba dapat nagagalit ako?

Bakit walang galit?

Bakit hindi ko sya tinutulak?

Ano nangyayari, Beka?

Do you really like him that much?!

I unconsciously closed my eyes when his lips suddenly moved.

Fuck!

He's a damn good kisser!

I move my lips to follow his rhythm, so our lips moves in sync. I felt him smiled when I finally move my lips.

We stopped to breath, and he's looking at me.

"Do you kiss your patients too?" Tanong ko para di halatang kinilig ako sa nangyari.

Tinaasan ko pa sya ng isang kilay.

"Why? Would you get jealous?"

"Excuse me? So your calming technique for your patients is a kiss? And do you know that is my first kiss?" Pagtataray ko.

"I'm your first kiss? My pleasure, love" he said. Natigilan ako sa sinabi nya sakin. "Don't worry, I'll take full responsibility." Dagdag nya at tumayo na. Aalis na sana sya pero lumingon ulit sakin. "And oh, I don't kiss my patients, I only kiss the only neuro-surgeon that is my patient, I guess that's you, cutie" nakangiti nyang sabi at umalis na.

"What the fuck?!" Singhal ko sa sarili ko.

What the hell just happened, Beka?

*****

After that kiss, binusy ko nalang sarili ko sa trabaho para hindi masyadong mag-isip.

At ngayon, kailangan ko na naman syang harapin, dahil sa kanya ako pinapasabay ni Kuya papunta sa airport.

Nilock ko na yung office ko at bigla namang sumulpot tong asungot na to at humalik sa pisngi ko.

Namumuro na to ah!

"Hi, love"

"Excuse me? The last time I checked, my name is Beka, Dr. Davis" sabi ko

Pinagtitinginan tuloy kami ng mga nurse na may kilig kilig pa.

"Whatever you say, baby" sabi nya na nakangiti parin.

Ganitong pagod ako, wag nya kong bwisitin ah.

He get my bag from me and nauna na maglakad.

"Akin na yan, that's my things"

"Kaya nga, ako na magdadala para di ka na mabigatan" sabi nya at prenteng naglakad na akala mo hindi nya hawak ang bag ko.

Bumabati pa sya sa mga doctor na nakakasalubong namin at napapatingin sila sa hawak nya and then they will look at me habang kinikilig pa.

"Ikaw mare ah, may something na pala ah" sabi ni Jill. She's my colleague, Pediatrician sya.

"Oh my gosh! Ninang kami ah" that's Hanz, an oncologist and gay. He's a proper gay naman, and very smart nya at hygienic.

"Sira" singhal ko sa kanilang dalawa.

Kahit naiinis ay wala na akong nagawa kundi sumunod nalang sa kanya papunta sa parking dahil hinihintay na nila kami sa airport nila Greg