²⁷// 20.12.1982

88 10 12
                                    

11:11 am

Namjoon hears a knock on his door. And a strange old voice who had said something. As he was about to go and open the door, he found a letter in his mailbox.

He tears the envelope and takes the letter out and he could tell by rose fragrance who had sent it.

He excitedly opens to read it.

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Dear Namjoon,

It's me again, your joker guy. This is my first time writing and posting a letter to someone in the whole 23 years of my life, (I just told you my age, Mr. Intelligent)

I am writing it just after our ummm....date? Yeah..Date. And maybe I will just post it as soon as I complete it, it must be there with you maybe by tomorrow.

Anyway, as I didn't talk much, I mean about myself I didn't tell you much so I am gonna tell it here.

My family is a bit royal I'd say. First of all, both my Mom and Dad have studied overseas so their ideas and thoughts are not very likely as compared to our Japanese culture.

When I was a kid, I was raised by my grandparents in the countryside because both of my parents were always busy making money.

Until I became a teenager everything was going right. But as I turned 14 my grandpa passed away, after a year my grandma passed away too. She was the one I adored the most in my life.

I was in the school when I felt something bad in my stomach as if I had a soul connection with her and when I came back home, I saw some of the neighbours and relatives in our home. I didn't feel good, most of the people looked gloomy while some were really shedding tears.

When I didn't see my grandma I asked them about her and I was told that she had passed away. They told me so casually as if she had just gone to a neighbor's house. But the worst feeling was that I wasn't able to see her last time.

After that, my parents brought me to Osaka. My school was changed,even my friends. Oh! friends weren't changed, they were actually deleted from my life.

They left servants after me but never even gave time to me. It's okay, at first I thought they were just busy.

Whenever we'd have dinner together, they made everything so formal that for me it seemed like impossible at first because technically I had habits that my grandparents gave to me, but Mother and father had adopted foreign culture. They even forced me to live according to them.

Everything was still bearable until they crossed each other. Everyday, they would quarrel and fight over minute things and opinions. Between their fight they forgot that they even had a son.

Sometimes they get mad at me for no reason but doing things according to myself. They wouldn't allow me to wear clothes of my choice. I love to dress up in pink, but when mother sees pink in the wardrobe she'd ask the servants to throw them up.

She'd mock me and say that I am not manly, no girl would marry me and I am gonna embarrass her in future. ( I don't know, who told her that I am gonna get married to a girl? Ow! )

Then as the time passed, she limited my each and everything. As if I was just caged in the four walls. I wasn't allowed to make friends who were not rich and royal. Even if I did, she'd humiliate them. Being a loner, I started feeling depressed.

When I didn't change myself, she humiliated me in front of everyone. She once slapped me across my face at my birthday party because I told her that I don't like celebrating my birthday like a festival. I felt like a coward and I lacked confidence.

She opposed all the things I love to do. My father has no time, he rarely comes home. I only remember his face because we had a giant painting of him hanging in the hall, otherwise I'd have forgotten him long ago.

I only came into the library because I had heard that books can help reduce stress better than any other methods. But as I did instead of reading positive books, I started to pick up books on self killing. Even though I hardly found any books promoting these ideas, I focused more on the negative parts.

As the days passed, I felt even more stressed and unmotivated. Until one day, the day when out of nowhere I recommended a book. It was just so random, I hadn't thought anyone would even give it a look but you did.

Gladly.

When you kept on responding to my every note I felt as if you were caring about me. I still remember that one day, when you didn't reply and I got all anxious, that day, I had visited the library many times just to check if you replied or not. Then after a day or two, when you rejoinderd, I was beyond ecstatic.

My birthday was never important for me but today after seeing you, I accepted it was a good idea to come to that Cafe for a coffee. I remember a college boy was sitting there, gazing at me like I was a prey. And I am more than happy to say that today I realised it was none other than you.

You motivated me. You dragged me out of the hell in which I had trapped myself. You words gave me the courage to speak myself. Even though you aren't physically with me, I feel closer to you than myself.

I would like to continue writing letters once we make more memories together. For the time being I will just leave it here, I can feel your eyes getting hurt by my handwriting so teach me to write nicely for the sake of your eyesight.

Thank you, for everything so far. I am glad we are no more strangers.

-Your Joker ,
Kim Seokjin

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