My Own Worst Enemy

Easier

Christian threw his phone at the wall, letting out a major groan of frustration. He was trying. He needed to balance two families, neither of them being open about why he needs to be where he is at any given moment. He desperately wanted to be with Elliott on his birthday, but his mom already guilted him into staying for Christmas.

But after that phone call? He was calling the private jet. He made his choice.

"Collin, mom, Cam," Christian called, arms crossed over his chest. "I am going to Minneapolis. Jet will be ready in 45. You are all invited, if I have your word that you can be respectful."

Christian lowered a glare to his family, not bending in his resolve.

"Dude I'm in," Collin said instantly, yet unsurprisingly. The middle Yelich was always going to do whatever Christian did. Anything for more Instagram clout; it was annoying, but it was whatever.

"Christian, I have made plans here. We have family coming, and I told them that you'd actually be here this time. They're tired of coming all this way for someone not to be here," the look was one of disappointment and shame. "I don't know if this baby even exists considering none of us have even met him."

Christian rolled his eyes so hard it could've been an infield drill. "Yes, mom. I made up a baby so that I could get out of seeing family. That's exactly it. Jesus. Collin, be ready in 10."

Christian stormed out of the kitchen and threw a bunch of random clothes in a bag, thankfully he didn't need much else.

He sat in his Mercedes, tears in his eyes as he watched a video of Elliott cruising from his octopus stuffed animal on the coffee table to Christian, who was holding a stuffed sheep on the couch. He was getting so big. And Christian was missing it all.

"Ready bro?" Christian was startled by his younger brother's deep voice as he entered the car, tossing his duffel to the back.

Christian nodded, and yawned to cover his tears. "Yeah. Let's go."

The drive to the airport was shorter than it probably should've been, but Christian was antsy to get to Grace. to get to Elliott.

To be reunited with his loves.

***

Christian put the finishing touches on the outdoor decor, having done the inside first, as it was most important to get done before Grace got home.

"Bro. This is real nice," Collin said, in awe of the ways Christian brought together a real Suburban Christmas fantasy. String lights lined the walkway and along all the evergreens in the yard.

"She loves Christmas," Christian whispered, remembering the conversation last August when she decided to watch Elf on a total whim.

Christian reentered Mendota Heights home, taking in the warm gold and green he'd chosen for her living room. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes as balsam filled his senses. He could grow to love Christmas.

"I'm beat, dude. You got us a hotel?" Collin's voice once again broke him out of his reverie.

Christian had to hold back a brown, but nodded instead. "Yeah. The Foshay in downtown Minneapolis. Two bedroom suite so I don't have to listen to you snore."

Also because he hoped that Grace would spend the night with Elliott once while he was there.

But Collin didn't need to know that.

***

"Oh dude. They've got escorts here," Collin whispered in Christian's ear, noticing the women at the bar. "I bet they use that app."

Christian had no idea what all his idiot brother was talking about, but he looked over in confusion anyway. He didn't have plans to sleep with another person until Gracie decided either way. He was going to wait.

"Oh fuck. This one, for sure," Christian leveled his brother with a disgusted glare, but was pulled to the very familiar face on his screen. "Give me that," he snapped and snatched the phone, instantly booking the escort for an insane amount of money that she couldn't turn down.

"Woah. Bro, what the fuck?" Collin was thrown by Christian's sudden animosity, but before he could say anything the man was gone. Before Collin was given a key.

***

Christian waited, arms crossed, for the click of the master key in the door. He knew he was pissed. But he didn't know a name for the other feelings raging through his head.

"Christian," the voice was familiar. The embarrassment wasn't a surprise. The only shocked one was him.

"This is how you're 'figuring out' who you are?" Christian snapped, unable to stop the tears in his eyes. He was so mad. But he was so, so hurt.

"Chris..." Gracie wanted to reassure him. Wanted to take the pain away.

"How does this work? Hmm? I paid for you. What do I get? Do I get to fuck you? Do you get to suck my cock?" Christian didn't know what he was saying, but he was gently leading Grace to the bed, hiking up her skirt. He was stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the viscous liquid flowing down her legs.

The shock raced through him and he barely found the bathroom in time when the bile made its way up. He hadn't eaten enough lately to warrant any vomit joining it.

"Christian, please... let me explain?" Grace whispered, gently rubbing his back. She expected him to be angry, but she never expected this. She never expected the broken sobs escaping the man in front of her. She never expected the bones she felt under her hand.

"All I've wanted is you and him. That's it. I'd... I'd give it all up tomorrow. Why can't that be enough?" He whispered, his eyes sallow where they once were bright and joyful.

"I..." Gracie wanted to let herself have feelings. To be vulnerable. But she couldn't. "It's my job, Christian. Just be supportive."

Christian looked at her, his brows furrowed. "I want to take care of you. I want to make it so you just have to focus on Elliott and school. But time and again you've turned me down. Said you loved your work... what do they have that I don't?" He whispered, flinching away from her attempt at soothing him.

"Well for starters they take my lead," she snapped, offended by his iciness. It wasn't true. Christian was always respectful. Asked for consent constantly. He was the only person that made her cum.

"I see," he whispered, swallowing down the next round of bile. "Money should've gone through. I'll sign whatever you want. Won't contest whatever you take to court. I n...I never meant to hurt you," he said quietly. He'd raped her. He deserved it.

Gracie knew she was being cold. That it was all a lie. But it would get her out of the room and to her son.

"Good," she whispered, fighting the urge to kiss him before she left. She wanted so badly to wrap him in a hug and beg him to stay forever. But she couldn't do that. Not to him. He would resent, and she'd end up hurt again.

This was easier. At least, that's what she had to tell herself.