My Own Worst Enemy

Memory

Christian held his son close, marveling in the six-month-old's features. He looked just like his daddy... but he had his mama's sparkling blue green eyes.

He was the perfect little man, thigh rolls and everything.

"Your mama is doing such a good job raising you," he whispered, looking over to Grace.

It was bad. Severe head trauma and a broken pelvis. A broken wrist and two broken ribs.

"Oh, Elliott. Daddy is going to make sure that you and your mama have the best life. I promise. You'll move to Milwaukee and your mama will never have to work again..." he whispered, eyes full of tears as he kissed Elliott's chubby cheeks.

The infant was sleeping soundly, his tiny fist in a lock tight grip on Christian's t-shirt. Christian had no choice but to be there for his little man... His Gracie was in a medically induced coma until the swelling in her brain went down. He was all El had.

"Daddy's here," he whispered, grabbing his phone and calling Brewers HR. He didn't know what they could do for him, but he did know that he needed to be with his family in that moment. He needed to be with his son.

***

Christian frowned as Elliott wailed inconsolably, his tiny face turning beet red. This had been going on for almost two hours, with absolutely no end in sight. It broke his heart; he knew Elliott wanted his mama. He had changed his diaper. He fed him. He sang to him and read him a book.

All to no avail.

"Oh lil man," he whispered, eyes full of sadness as his son's heart broke. "I miss your mama, too. I miss her so, so much."

It had been nearly a week since he arrived in Minneapolis, and two days since the doctors lifted the medication that was keeping Gracie asleep. They said it was up to her body now... and she was still sleeping.

"Daddy loves you. Daddy's here, my beautiful boy," he tried again, starting to gently sing. He tried a new song... the one he heard Gracie sing to Elliott in the four days of bliss that they had.

Oh yeah, I'll tell you something,
I think you'll understand,
When I say that something,
I wanna hold your hand

Christian gently held Elliott's hand and kissed it, smiling as the wails slowly turned to sniffles and then disappeared all together.

He sang the Beatle's classic one more time until Elliott was sleeping soundly, one hand gripping his daddy's shirt.

"It's his favorite," the voice caused Christian's head to snap up and he met the eyes of his beautiful Gracie.

"Gracie," he whispered and rushed to her side, gently brushing his hands through her hair. "How're you feeling?"

"Sore... what happened?" She frowned, leaning into Christian's touch. The last thing she remembered was falling asleep in his arms.

"You were in a car crash," he said softly, careful not to wake Elliott.

"Is El okay? Who's that?" She frowned, seeing the baby that was huge compared to her son.

"Gracie..." he whispered, eyes wide. "Th-this is Elliott."

Grace snorted a bit then grunted at the pain that shot through her chest. "That's not funny, Chris. El is only two days old."

Christian's heart shattered at the revelation. Gracie had no idea what has happened in the last 6 months. No idea about how much he hurt her.

"Oh, Gracie," he whispered. "Look at him, sweetheart. This is our baby boy."

Grace held out her arms and held Elliott close, tears coming to her eyes. "He's so big now, Christian. How did I miss so much?" She begged, running a hand over his dark, wavy hair.

"I don't know, Gracie. But we'll figure it out. You'll get your memory back," he promised, gently taking her hand. He knew it meant she'd be mad at him again. That she'd hate him again.

But she was missing six months of her baby's life. Her baby that was so in love with his mama.

He'd do anything to bring them together again. He loved Gracie and their baby so much... he hated seeing her in pain.

***

Christian made some calls and pulled some strings, managing to get Gracie transferred to a Milwaukee hospital.

That way, she'd be closer to her family and him. She would be staying with him, but while he was on the road she'd be close to her family when she needed it.

"Ready to go, love?" He whispered, carefully helping her to the wheelchair. His heart aches seeing her struggle and be in so much pain, and it caused him immense guilt.

He was the one who fucked up. He was the one who ruined their relationship and made her feel like this was her only option.

He was an idiot.

"Mhmm... you have El?" Grace asked, sweat on her brow from the pain and exertion required for the five foot move to her wheelchair.

"I do," he said softly and balanced the car seat on his elbow. "You feeling okay? Need a break before we get moving?"

Grace smiled a bit and gently squeezed his hand. "I'm okay, Chris. Let's just go."

Christian nodded and gently pushed her to where the air ambulance was, ready to fly them to Milwaukee. When they got to the plane, he very gently moved her to the bed and got out of the way as the paramedics checked her IVs.

He'd never show it on the outside, but he was terrified. He was scared that Gracie would never remember, but more scared that she would. That one day she would wake up and hate him again.

That she would take Elliott away again.

He wouldn't survive