Somewhere in a village:
A man walks down the streets next to a cart with dead bodies on it. Three people are pushing the cart around. Appearently almost everyone in the village has gotten ill by a terrible desease. A lot of people are dying or already dead.
"Bring out your dead!", the man with the cart shouts.
He collects the bodies from the villagers. If someone in your home has died, you have to carry him out and put him on the cart. The man hits a steel bar with a stick, so everone knows the dead collector is here. [clang] "Bring out your dead!" [clang] "Bring out your dead!" The dead collector arrives at the next house. "Bring out your dead!"
"Here's one.", a man says, who approaches with a body hanging over his shoulder. "Nine pence.", the dead collector says. "I'm not dead!", the person, who's supposed to be dead, says. "What?" The dead collector thought he heard something. The costumer quickly answers back.
"Nothing. Here's your nine pence."
"I'm not dead!"
"Ere. He says he's not dead!"
"Yes, he is."
"I'm not!"
"He isn't?", the collector asks.
"Well, he will be soon. He's very ill.", the costumer says.
"I'm getting better!"
"No, you're not. You'll be stone dead in a moment."
"Oh, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations."
"I don't want to go on the cart!", the old man says.
"Oh, don't be such a baby."
The collector shakes his head. "I can't take him."
"I feel fine!", the old man yells.
"Well, do us a favor.", the costumer says.
"I can't."
"Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't be long."
"No, I've got to go to the Robinsons. They've lost nine today."
"When's your next round?"
"Thursday."
"I think I'll go for a walk.", the old man says.
The costumer turns his head a little to the left and looks at the old man, who is still hanging on his shoulder.
"You're not fooling anyone you know."Then he looks back to the collector.
"Look. Isn't there something you can do?"
"I feel happy, I feel happy.", the old man sings.
The dead collector quickly hits the old man with his stick by his head. [whop] The old man is knocked out.
"Ah, thanks very much.", the costumer says. Together they put the old man on the cart.
"Not at all. See you on Thursday."
"Right. All right."
Arthur and his trusty servant Patsy are hopping by. As they hop by, the costumer turns to the dead collector.
"Who's that, then?"
"I dunno. Must be a king."
"Why?"
"He hasn't got shit all over him."
YOU ARE READING
MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL
Humor"Bring out your dead!" "Here's one.", a man says, who approaches with a body hanging over his shoulder. "Nine pence.", the dead collector says. "I'm not dead!", the person, who's supposed to be dead, says. "What?" The dead collector thought he...
