Arthur and Patsy arrive in the countryside somewhere outside the village. Farmers are hard at work. They are digging and chopping. Arthur and Patsy ride down the hill and they stop before a peasant who transports a cart. In the distance there's a castle, almost the same as the castle from the first scene.
"Old woman!", Arthur says.
"Man!", the man says with a high voice that sounds just like a woman.
"Man. Sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there?"
"I'm thirty-seven."
"I...what?"
"I'm thirty-seven. I'm not old.", the man says.
"Well, I can't just call you 'man'."
"Well, you could say 'Dennis'.", Dennis says.
"I didn't know you were called 'Dennis'.", Arthur says.
"Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you?"
"I did say 'sorry' about the 'old woman', but from the behind you looked..."
"What I object to is that you automatically treat me like an inferior!", Dennis interrups him.
"Well, I am King!", Arthur says.
"Oh, King, eh, very nice. And how did you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers! By 'anging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society. If there's ever going to be any progress with the.."
"Dennis! There's some lovely filth down here...,' a woman says who crawls in their direction, 'oh! How d'you do?"
"How do you do, good lady? I am Arthur, King of the Britons. Who's castle is that?", Arthur asks. Dennis sits down next to the woman on the floor.
"King of the who?"
"The Britons."
"Who are the Britons?", the woman asks without a clue.
"Well, we all are. We are all Britons, and I am your king..."
"Didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective."
"You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship: a self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes...", Dennis says and starts his work.
"Oh, there you go bringing class into it again.", the woman says.
"That's what it's all about. If only people would hear of..."
"Please! Please, good people. I am in haste. Who lives in that castle?", Arthur asks and he points to the castle.
De woman looks for a moment at the castle. "No one lives there.", the woman says.
"Then who is your lord?"
"We don't have a lord."
"What?"
"I told you. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week,...', Dennis says.
"Yes.", Arthur says monotonous.
'...but all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting...'
"Yes, I see."
'...by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs,...'
"Be quiet!", Arthur screams.
'...but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more major..."
"Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!"
Dennis and the woman stop working and look at each other.
"Order, eh? Who does he think he is? Heh.", the woman laughs.
"I am your king!"
"Well, I didn't vote for you."
"You don't vote for kings.", Arthur says.
"Well, how did you become king, then?"
"The lady of the lake,... her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by Davine Providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am you king!" "Listen. Strange woman lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.", Dennis says.
"Be quiet!"
"Well, you can't expect to wield supreme exectutive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!"
"Shut up!"
"I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!" Arthur walks to Dennis, grabs him by the collar and pulls him up.
"Shut up, will you? Shut up!"
"Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system."
"Shut up!"
"Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help! help! I'm being repressed!" "Bloody peasant!", Arthur says and let him go. He angrily walks back to Patsy.
"Oh, what a give-away. Did you hear that? Did you hear that, eh? That's what I'm on about. Did you see him repressing me? You saw it, didn't you?", Dennis asks to a few people in front of him.
YOU ARE READING
MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL
Humor"Bring out your dead!" "Here's one.", a man says, who approaches with a body hanging over his shoulder. "Nine pence.", the dead collector says. "I'm not dead!", the person, who's supposed to be dead, says. "What?" The dead collector thought he...
