Sir Lancelot and Sir Galahad walk along the castle wall. With the storm gone, they can move around more easily. The fog is still there. Sir Galahad is disappointed that he wasn't allowed to stay in the castle, even though he wanted to leave at first.
"We were in the nick of time. You were in great peril.", Lancelot says. He still holds Galahad by his arm to keep him from running away.
"I don't think I was."
"Yes, you were. You were in terrible peril."
"Look, let me go back in there and face the peril."
"No, it's too perilous."
"Look, it's my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can."
"No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on!"
They walk around the corner.
"Oh, let me have just a little bit of peril?", Galahad asks.
"No. It's unhealthy."
"I bet you're gay."
"No, I'm not."
Sir Lancelot had saved Sir Galahad from almost certain temptation, but they were still no nearer to the Grail. Meanwhile, King Arthur and Sir Bedevere, not more than a swallow's flight away, had discovered something. Arthur had discovered a vital clue...
Arthur and Bedevere are visiting a scary, old man and they ask him for help. Bird cages hang above their heads and they sit around a wood fire to keep themselves warm.
"Heh, hee ha ha hee hee! Hee hee hee ha ha ha...", the man laughs.
"And this enchanter of whom you speak, he has seen the Grail?", Arthur asks.
The old man doesn't answer, but just laughs.
"...Ha ha ha ha! Heh, hee ha ha hee! Ha hee ha! Ha ha ha ha..."
"Where does he live?"
"...Heh heh heh heh..."
"Old man, where does he live?", Arthur repeats.
"...Hee ha ha ha! He knows of a cave, a cave which no man has entered.", the man answers with a hoarse voice.
"And the Grail. The Grail is there?"
"There is much danger, for beyond the cave lies the Gorge of Eternal Peril, which no man has ever crossed."
"But the Grail! Where is the Grail?!"
"Seek you the Bridge of Death."
At that word, 'death', Arthur looks tensely at Bedevere. Why do they have to deal with 'death' so often? Why can't something just go easy and cooperate?
"The Bridge of Death, which leads to the Grail?", Arthur continues.
The man starts laughing again and disappears.
"Heh, hee hee hee hee! Ha ha ha ha ha! Hee ha ha..."
Arthur and Bedevere look around. The house they were sitting in, has suddenly disappeared and they're back in the forest. They don't know how this happened. If you think about it like that, they wouldn't even know if the man was actually here. Perhaps this all was just an big imagination, because of the exhausting day. But how can they both have the exact same imagination? How do you explain that? Perhaps they ate something wrong: grass, mushrooms maybe... What the hell did they eat?!
So, with no clue if this really happened, they get up and move on. With a lot of doubts they follow the man's directions, further and further into the forest. Arthur hears something and looks to the right. He sees nothing. Still, he has the feeling that they are being watched. He tries to ignore the noises so he doesn't get even more scared than he already is. A few seconds later, he hears footsteps. He looks to the right again. Arthur doesn't see much, just a light shadow moving through the fog. Terrified he goes on.
Branches snap and leaves rustle. He looks behind. Now there is not one shadow, but three.
Arthur looks right and left. More and more shadows appear. He hopes Bedevere knows that they are being followed, because he can't find the words to say it to him. Anxious he looks to the right again. He can no longer see the road and he looks at something black. Someone is standing in front of him.
"Ni!", the man says. He is at least two to two and a half meters high and wears a weird helmet with large branches sticking out off it. He wears a long coat with a large fur collar on it.
"Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!", the others behind him say.
Arthur and his group take a step back.
"Who are you?", he asks.
"We are the Knights Who Say... 'Ni'!"
"No! Not the Knights Who Say 'Ni'!"
He looks scared at Bedevere.
"The same!", the head knight says.
"Who are they?", Bedevere asks.
"We are the keepers of the sacred words: 'Ni', 'Peng', and 'Neee-wom'!"
"Neee-wom!", the others say.
Arthur turns to Bedevere.
"Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale."
"The Knights Who Say 'Ni' demand a sacrifice.", the head knight says.
"Knights of Ni, we are but simple travellers who seek the enchanter who lives beyond these woods."
"Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!...", the head Knight and his followers say.
"Ow! Ow! Ow! Agh!", Arthur shouts and he and Bedevere shrink together.
"We shall say 'ni' again to you if you do not appease us."
"Well, what is it you want?", Arthur asks as they stand up again.
"We want...', the head knight begins and thinks, '...a shrubbery!"
Arthur furrows his eyebrows.
"A what?"
"Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!"
"Ow! Oh! Please! Please! No more! We will find you a shrubbery."
"You must return here with a shrubbery, or else, you will never pass through this wood... alive." "O Knights of Ni, you are just and fair, and we will return with a shrubbery."
"One that looks nice."
"Of course."
"And not too expensive."
"Yes."
"Now... go!", the head knight says and he points to a direction.
YOU ARE READING
MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL
Humor"Bring out your dead!" "Here's one.", a man says, who approaches with a body hanging over his shoulder. "Nine pence.", the dead collector says. "I'm not dead!", the person, who's supposed to be dead, says. "What?" The dead collector thought he...
