MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL

The shrubbery and Tim the Enchanter

King Arthur, Sir Bedevere and their group of squires are still on the road looking for a shrubbery. The Knights Who Say 'Ni' gave them this order, so they must fulfill it. After a while, they arrive at a village. Since they don't know where to find a shrubbery, they're going to ask someone about it. Arthur walks to the first house he sees. Luckily someone is home. An old woman, who lives there, is beating her cat against the inside wall of her cabin.

"Old crone!", Arthur says and has caught the woman's attention. She steps outside. Bedevere, who is standing next to the King, raises his helmet flap.
"Is there anywhere in this town where we could buy a shrubbery?", Arthur asks.
The woman does not respond well to it. She looks a little scared and startled. Arthur sees that, but Sir Bedevere mainly looks at the nasty wart on her cheek.

"Who sent you?", she asks suspiciously.
"The Knights Who Say Ni.", Arthur says.
"Aggh!"
The woman looks around in fear.
"No! Never! We have no shrubberies here.", she says.
"If you do not tell us where we can buy a shrubbery, my friend and I will say...', the King begins and looks at Bedevere for a moment, 'we will say... Ni."
"Agh!", the woman shouts and it seems like she's about to faint. But not yet, she recovers.
"Do your worst!"
"Very well! If you will not assist us voluntarily,...", the King begins steadfastly and he looks around to see if anyone is watching. When they are sure they are alone, Arthur turns back to the crone and says: "Ni!"
"No! No shrubberies!", the woman shouts.

"Ni!", Arthur repeats.
Sir Bedevere unfortunately didn't quite get it. He keeps repeating the wrong word.
"Noe! Noe!", Sir Bedevere says.
"No, no, no, no, it's not that. It's 'Ni'.", Arthur explains, but Bedevere still can't manage to pronounce it correctly.
"Noe!"
"No, no. 'Ni'. You're not doing it properly.", Arthur says.
Eventually, after a few tries, Bedevere succeeds.
"Ni!", Bedevere says.
"That's it. That's it. You've got it."
King Arthur enthusiastically gives him a thumbs up and then they say it together.
"Ni!"
"Ohh!", the crone shouts and collapse.

After taking turns repeating the word a few times, they are suddenly interrupted by a voice.
"Are you saying 'Ni' to that old woman?", someone asks.
King Arthur and Sir Bedevere turn around. A man, who is sitting on a carriage, is looking at them questioningly. The carriage is pulled by two men. The man has a some gray hairs, holds a long thick branch and wears a long green coat. Typically the appearance of a farmer.

"Erm,... yes.", Arthur responds.
"Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say 'Ni' at will to old ladies. There is a pestilence upon this land. Nothing is sacred. Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress at this period in history."
The farmer shakes his head.
"Did you say 'shrubberies'?"
"Yes. Shrubberies are my trade. I am a shrubber. My name is 'Roger the Shrubber'. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies.", Roger the Shrubber explains.
"Ni!", Bedevere says and he takes a step forward.
"No! No, no, no! No!", Arthur says and stops him.

Once back with the Knights Who Say Ni...
"O Knights of Ni, we have brought you your shrubbery.", the King says and he points at the ground.
"May we go now?", he asks.
"It is a good shrubbery. I like the laurels particularly,... but there is one small problem.", the head of the Knights Who Say Ni says.
"What is that?"
"We are now... no longer the Knights Who Say 'Ni'."
"Ni!", the other knights say.
"Shh!", the head of the knights says and continues.
"We are now the Knights Who Say 'Ecky-Ecky-Ecky-Ecky-Ptang-Zoo-Boing-goodem-zu-owly-zhiv'."
Arthur listens carefully and tries to remember everything. Maybe he'll just manage to say the first four words, but that's all.
"Therefore, we must give you a test.", the knight continues.
"What is this test, O Knights of... knights who till recently said 'ni'?", Arthur asks.
"Firstly, you must find... another shrubbery!"