The never ending cycle of pain

Acceptance

 
Amity Blight had not slept for a long time now.
 
she cried and cried and cried, until her tears turned dry and her eyes swollen- but she havent give up hope. Her eyes were glued to the house's front door, not looking away even for a second, not wanting to miss the moment her Luz came back to her.
 
Lilith offered her food, drinks, blankets, her company- but is swiftly declined everytime. 
 
Amity blames her for everything, Lilith knows that- She had summoned Abdominations at her, screamed and clawed at her eyes after she told her what happened.
 
She knows her very presence would remind Amity of her loss, so she stayed away after the unfruitful attempts at calming her down.
Even so, Lilith uses the invisibility glyth every morning to place the things on the table in front of Amity.
 
As for King, he had used his powers at Lilith. It was as if he was yelling out all his bottled emotions- frustration, needs, his loneliness and most of all-- his fear and worry for the only parent figure he has ever known. Lilith was blowed agaist the walls, which gave Amity a chance to jump on her and scratch at her eyes.
 
That night, things only calmed down after Lilith found a sleep potion hidden in a floor tile, and poured it all over them.
 
She had dragged her injured body out of the house, and flew away on her palisman, thinking they would be better off without her.
 
But then she remembers that, Eda is not here anymore- who will take care of them? They are only children after all...
 
And so, Lilith returned to the owl house. When she did, both Amity and King were already awake.
 
Amity's eyes grew wide with happiness for a moment when the door opened, but went back to the numb state when she sees that its Lilith. She gave her a glare, then ignored her ever since.
 
King had locked himself in Eda's room and had never came out since. The only signs that he is alive is the muffled cries that can be heard from time to time. Lilith sends him food through the window everday with a levitating glyph, but they always come down untouched. 
 
At night, when Lilith had made sure the kids were okay, she would go to a dark closet, and let all her emotions out: she would cry and cry for hours, or scratch and bang at the door in frustration. 
 
______________________
 
For the first time since everything happened, Amity finally left the couch. As she stands up, she realises her legs were numb, and almost falls back-- but she was quick enough to hold onto the tableside.
 
She stares at the depressing dent she had created from her time on the couch, and sighs. 
 
'You cant help Luz by staring at the door, Amity... Go sleep' Lilith had muttered to her the night she came back. But Amity was too deep in denial that she just shot her a glare.
 
She was right, Amity thinks, I shouldve listened to her. Her hands began shaking as something occured to her-- she might be too late now, for all she knows, she had missed the perfect opportunity to go safe Luz.
 
'For Titan's sake, Blight! Why didnt u go safe her immediately??' Amity mutters, scolding herslef. Regret and guilt poured into her, why did she let her feelings take over??? she was Amity Blight! The brightest student at Hexide! She shouldve known better. 
 
'CLANG!!' Behind her, a floating plate of griffin eggs falls to the floor. Amity steps back, shocked.
 
'Amity, you--' Lilith says, taking in a huge breath and appearing. 
 
'Dont say anything unless i ask you to.' Amity snaps, summoning adomination goo to seal Liliths mouth.
 
She was still angry at her, angry that Luz and Eda was the one who sacrifised themselves for her. She didnt save them, and she could have. Amity thinks
 
'Where exactly were you three??' Amity asks. Luz told her they'll be going into a timepool, but she needs to know exactly which time they went to.
 
'M-Medivial-' Lilith chokes out, taking a deep breath before the Abdomination knitted back into itself, sealing her mouth again.
 
'Bring me there' Amity orders
 
'Bu- but, we dont have any Titans Blood left... Plus we cant just leave King alone...'
 
'Hooty can take care of him' Amity says dismissively. Its not that she doesnt care about King, Luz is just more important to her. She would sacrifice anything to get Luz back, 'As for the titans blood-- where else can we find it except for eclipse lake'
 
'Eclipse lake is the last source--' 
 
She was rudely interupted by an enthusiastic Hooty, peeking into the window and screaming, 'AMITY!! YOURE FINALLY UP! and hello~ lulu~'
 
'Hooty,' Amity says coldly, 'we're in the middle of something here'
 
'OH RIGHT! sorry--' Hooty says, suddenly caughing voilently.
 
'Wha--' Amity says, hands raised. 
 
Hooty pukes out a bunch of random stuff, 'Phew! That felt nice!!'
 
Amity face-palms. 
'now then, where were we??' she says, turning back to Lilith, who is staring at something on top of the pile of junk that Hooty puked out.
 
Amity turns to the junk, and spots a black letter. 'To King Clawthorne', but thats not what caught her attention.
 
Right beside the letter, there is a white banner with the words, 'I think you are smart, cool and classy'. Amity tears up, recognising it from the day Luz had confessed to her.
 
She lowers her hands and began shaking 'W-what am I doing?', releasing Lilith, 'I am so sorry- I- I was just so worried about Luz and-'
 
'Its okay,' Lilith says, panting and catching her breath. She walks over to Amity, and puts a hand on her shoulder, 'I understand'
 
Tears began flowing out uncontrollably from Amity's eyes. Lilith smiles gently, patting her head as Amity buries her face in the crook of her neck, hicupping.
 
_______________
 
Amity took a long time to calm down, but Lilith didnt complain and stayed with her through every second.
 
Lilith told her everything that happened in the timepool, not skipping out parts where she felt helpless and useless like she did the first time.
 
Amity listened intently, face buried, and began slowly forgiving Lilith. She accepts the fact that she couldnt get Titans Blood anyways, and that Luz s truly gone.
 
'Luz wouldnt want me to grief for her my whole life, she would want me to lead a happy life' 
 
Lilith then told her funny stories from when her and Eda was younger to cheer Amity up.
 
It worked, and by sunset, the two of them were chatting and gigling happily in the kitchen, preparing food. 
 
Just before levitating the food up for King, Lilith remembers the letter. 'Amity, wasnt there a letter adressed to King in that pile??' We should give it to him, It could be important.'
 
'Yea' Amity says, summoning a strand of abdomination to take the letter to them, 'it sure looks important'
 
Lilith fastens the food and the letter properly on a flat piece wood, then placed the levitating glyth on it. 
 
'I hope he comes to his senses soon...' Lilith mutters as they watched the food levitate to Eda's window.
 
'He will, im sure of it' Amity reassures, pulling Lilith in for a comforting hug.
 
_____________
 
BANG
 
the next day, Lilith and Amity (who are sleeping on the couch together as Amity doesnt want to sleep in Luz's room) was shocked awake by the loud sound of a door slaming upstairs.
 
'WHO SENT THIS? IS THIS A PRANK' King yells, stomping down the stairs.
 
'King-' Lilith starts
 
'Im not talking to you' King snaps, then looks at Amity, 'Where did u find this???'
 
'Hooty puked it out' Amity answers (after shooting the hurt looking Lilith a look that says: he just needs some time).
 
'What does it say?' Amity asks back, curious.
 
'Dear King Clawthorne, if you wish to know who you truly are, come to this location and meet our warrior clan' King reads out, wincing a little as he read the word 'Clawthorne'
 
'King! Oh my titan, do you think thats from your Dad???' Amity squeals, excited for King (and desperately needing a distraction)
 
'I dont know! But it sure sounds like it...' King mutters, 'Theres even a map on here!'
He turns the letter towards Amity so she can see the scetched map as well as the portrait of something that looks alot like King.
 
'Oh that, Ive been there before-- theres nothing there' Lilith says, peeping at the letter.
 
'Hey! Im not showing you!' King says with an angry 'Weh'
 
'And i dont trust you' he adds, glaring at Lilith.
 
'Cut her some slack' Amity chuckles nervously, patting King's head.
 
'We NEED to go check this out!' King shouts excitedly.
 
'And we will!' Amity chimes in, hyping King up.
 
'I'll go prepare' Lilith says, sighing.
 
'you're not coming with us' King says, shooting Lilith a look that causes her to wince.
 
'but you two are children--'
 
'We'll bring Hooty along' Amity interupts
 
'WHAT?!?'
_______________________
 
The red moon dimly lits up Amity's face as she lies on the couch, wide awake. 
 
She shouldnt have encouraged Lilith to go sleep on a bed, she thinks, staring at the familliar door.
 
she sits up, rubbing her eyes. Amity looks around the living room-- it was peacefully quiet accept for the sound of gentle winds, and leaves rustling. 
 
The witch stands up, deciding to go find Lilith to request cuddles. 
 
She tiptoes up the stairs, not wanting to wake King. 
 
There is 4 rooms upstairs-- right infront of the stairs, is Edas room, from which Amity can hear King's muffled sleep talk. something about 'catch'. and smiles, hoping that hes having a good dream.
 
To the left, there are 2 rooms, both vacant-- king's and Luz's . Amity tries to not to linger on Luz's heavily decorated door, and moves right-- to the spare room where Lilith is sleeping.
 
The witch raise her hand to knock on her door, only to hear a loud snore tear through the night sky.
 
'PFTT--' Amity almost burst out laughing, trying to restraint herself. Who wouldve thought-- the elegant and classy head of emperors coven, snoring. as loud as thunder too.
 
She lowers her hand and smiles at the door as more snores sounded. She hadnt completly forgiven Lilith yet, but shes sure she will-- one day not too far in the future.
 
Amity turns to leave, but stopped abruptly at the stairs.
 
There was a small piece of cutout paper lying on the floor. it was a doodle of Azura with a speech buble: Welcome to Luz's room!
 
Amity smiles, picking up the paper, and walking towards Luz's door. She summons a bit of abdomination to use as glue, and sticks it back up.
 
As she lowers her hand, her fingers acidently brushing the handle. Amity hesitates, overwhelemed with emotions, but decides to respect Luz's privacy and turns around to leave.
 
Just then, she hears a weird noise from the room. Confused, Amity presses her ears against the door, and heard--
 
'LUZ!'
 
Amity slams the door open.
 
'And mama, this is Amity!....' Luz's voice echoes from the little box she brought from her world. a foone, Amity remembers. 
 
On the screen, Luz was cheerfully introducing her to her mother. Amity distinctively remembers that day, and blushes a little at how obvious she was being.
 
Luz mustve forgotten to close it as she-- Amity felt a lump at her throat-- left that day. 
 
There was all kinds of little doodles pinned around the room, with some of her human objects.
 
Amity approaches one of Luz's drawings, depicting the two of them laying under a Daisy field under the shining sun. Tears began filling her eyes again as she remembers how Luz told her she wished she could bring Amity to the human world, and described this exact scene to her.
 
'I- Its beautiful' Amity smiles, saying the same thing she said that day.
 
'Its gonna be Amity's birthday soon! And oh boy, have i got the perfect gift for her!' The phone rang out.
 
Tears fell from her face as Amity hears it, turning back to the screen. 
'Im sure she will love it! I even wrote down notes inside!' Luz rambles on enthusiastically, her hands flying up and down with a wrapped gift.
 
'Luz...' Amity cries
'Bye for now, mama! Me and aunt Lilith will be going on an adventure now! ill tell you all about it when we get back...'
The screen goes black.
 
Amity stands up to leave, but something in the corner of the room catches her attention. A small box wrapped in lilac and black scroll papers. She realises this is the same gift Luz was talking about and picks it up.
 
there was a tag that said: Happy birthday to my awesome girlfriend! from your luz. There was also a date under the note and Amity realises, to her horor, that it matches the date on the foone screen.
 
which means, it had already been one full month.
 
Tears stain the scrolls as Amity carefully unwraps the gift to reveal--- a book.
 
there was a note on it, saying: 'this is a journal! I have a matching one in the human world! I record all the things that happened and how i felt inside, so i can reread it someday in the future! I gifted this to you so you can record all your happiest, and saddest memories here since your diary got destroyed after that day in the library. hope u like it!'
 
Finally, Amity broke down crying, grasping the lilac book like it was her lifeline. This book couldve-- no should have-- been filled with the all happy memories they will create together, but now, they are impossible to be made.
 
The door opens again abruptly, and King rushes in, 'AMITY ARE U OK, I HEARD--'
 
he stops as he noticed that Amity is crying with a book clutched in her hands. And the opened wraps at the side.
 
'amity...' he comforts, giving her a hug.
 
'you know, she was so excited to finally give that to you... she spend all her remaining snails for those scrolls too... she wouldnt stop talking about it and i found it annoying, but now...'
 
They silently weep into each others embrace. no words were said, but that was okay because, no words were NEEDED to be said-- the other's presence is enough.
 
after awhile, King pulls away, 'I- I should go' he says, trying to brush away his tears and sound tough. 
 
As he reaches the door, he turns back to Amity and mutters, 'thank you'.
 
The witch gives King a warm smile, which he reciprocates with a small wave before leaving.
 
Amity wipes her tears with her sleeve, then looked closer at the notebook. It was in Lilac and Black, with various moon phases depicted in what seemed like gold. The title was the words: 'You can do this' in silver.
 
She smiles at the title, opened the book to its first page-- a new start-- then pressed down the pen and wrote: 
 
'Dear Luz'