The Therapy

Chapter 05

Time was ticking by and I was feeling uncomfortable that I was still living with Maya and Carina. I started looking for an apartment to live in, but Dean offered me a room in his house. He was very busy with the mission of being a single parent while he was rolling out his new Crisis One program. So he asked me for help with Pru and I accepted. I love that little girl and it was a good proposal to help my friend and still have a place to live.

Every day I helped him get Pru ready and took her to daycare before going to the station. It was already turning into a routine which I was really enjoying. Spending a few hours with children makes us feel lighter. And that's what I was feeling. After so many dark months, I was living days of peace and joy.

But when I think that my life is getting back to normal, a new problem always arises. Today was one of those days. Perhaps one of the worst days.

I just witnessed the death of my good friend while we were working. Dean is dead. I don't want to believe it, but that's the truth. He's gone and now little Pru is just another girl abandoned by her mother who lost her father in a fire, just like me. The only difference between the two of us is that she's still too small to face it all.

I don't know what's hurting more: losing my friend or imagining Pru's future.

With everything I'm feeling, I still have so much to think about. I need to think about Vic. She was seriously injured and is still hospitalized. I also need to think about Jack, who was one of Dean's best friends. I need to help Ben and Bailey with Pru's care. They are the legal guardians for her under the will, but for the last few weeks I was living at Dean's house, so I was helping to take care of this little girl. She is already used to me and I know all her routine and needs.

My head was thinking about many things at once. I should go back to the 23, as our captain is also seriously injured. But I can't go to 23. I need to be around my 19 friends right now.

I entered 19 and found everyone devastated. There was absolute silence as they each sat in a corner of the kitchen. I joined them in that silence, but the truth was, I wanted to cry myself out of all my pain. I wasn't able to stay there. So I decided to go to the walkway above the parking lot and be alone for a bit.

I noticed that Robert came out of the kitchen right after me and was walking in the same direction as me. He knew where I was going. He always knows what I need.

When I stopped walking, I stood upstairs looking at the parked ambulances and let my tears fall.

I felt Robert's arm wrap around me in a hug that gave me the courage to release all the anguish that was trapped inside me. I cried on his shoulder. A cry in which I spilled all the pain I was feeling.

How many times has this shoulder received my tears? How many times have I had this support in my most difficult moments? How many times have I felt that even though it hurts, I would get over it? Yes. It's always on Robert's shoulder that I find some strength and comfort.

Robert: Are you feeling a little better?

Andy: Yes. It will still hurt for a while, but I'll be fine. Thanks.

Robert: Andy, we're apart, but you're not alone, okay? If you need anything, you know I won't deny you. You can call me anytime you need.

I wanted to say that I needed him. That only he was able to give me some energy to overcome this pain anymore. I remembered how he took care of me when my father died and all I wanted was his company at least until the pain eased.

However, I didn't say anything. It wasn't fair to him. Not after everything I've done.

I thanked him for giving me this support, said goodbye and decided to go to Diane's office.