SECRET LOVE NEST '22

Intuition

Wedding prep update first, we have secured the production for the puzzle boxes we will need to use in lieu of wedding envelopes. The wedding invites will be put inside those boxes and they'll be ready to be send to our guests in July. We are back on track people. Things are going smoothly. Our wedding planners are happy about that. The only thing we need to do for this month is to finalize the menu for the reception. But we well get on that later on.

Pandemic wise, things are going awry in the country again. Cases of infection are surging. Its like this thing will never end. Ugh! When will this nightmare be over. Qing and I are already arguing about this matter that I'm scared we will break up before Covid will completely be annihilated.

Qing: Its here to stay. Dayu ah, studies say that this virus is here to stay and we, as humans, had to live with it for the rest of our lives.

Me: (hates changes) No! This thing will be gone soon! Soon! I just need everyone to get vaccinated and everything will go back to the way it was before 2020 happened!

Qing: (shaking his head) Its not gonna go away. I'm sorry, my Love. Nothing could eradicate this virus to complete oblivion. Even if we get everyone vaccinated, this thing already mutated several times.

Me: (gasping) And so what? You all really expect me to live in the times of Covid for all eternity?! What about my wedding?!

Qing: (frowning) Maybe you mean our wedding.

Me: Our wedding. My wedding. Whats the difference? I want this virus out of our lives before we walk down the aisle.

Qing: Its not gonna happen. I told you already, this thing is here to stay.

Me: No! Thats a defeatist way of thinking. Stop being pessimistic, Wang Qing. We can beat this thing.

Qing: (laughing) People in some part of the world are having demonstrations because they are against wearing masks and getting the vaccines. You think humans will beat this thing? Humans are fucked up. We are a mess. We all can't even agree that this thing is real. You know some people are still denying the existence of Covid, right?

Me: Those people are stupid.

Qing: (chuckling) Well, I won't be arguing about that. But please tell me I will not be marrying someone stupid who really thinks humans could beat this virus. We can't. We are done for. My advice to you is start adjusting your mind into thinking that we will be living with Covid for the rest of our lives.

Me: No!

Qing: Dayu ah! (hand stretching to reach for me) Love...

Me: (evading his touch) No! I am sick and tired of this virus! I want it gone! Make it go away!

I wonder to whom do I have to throw this tantrum to so Covid will be gone. I think I am acting up in front of the wrong person because even though Qing loves me the most, he's not a scientist who can beat this virus. Surely he is not a superhero as well.

But I am just sick and tired of living with Covid. I'm sick and tired of wearing masks even in indoor events. I'm sick and tired of hearing the government advicing everyone to get their vaccine and booster shots. I am
sick to my core in seeing numbers on news tv about how many cases has added to the already existing one.

And before you all sneer at me for acting like a primadonna about this thing, bear in mind that we are allowed to feel sick and tired of anything. We are humans, we have breaking points and I am slowly reaching mine. How about this for an eye opener, all of us has been trying to dodge death for over three years now. Covid kills and we have been trying not to catch it. Thats no different from someone running fast while avoiding the knives being thrown at them.

How about that for a thought? If you have been living life trying not to die everyday, won't you feel like breaking down too? Billions of people are going through such trauma and here we are living like everything is just peachy.

Ugh!

But just to be clear, I'm not saying I'll stop wearing masks. I will still wear them. Why? Because I am not insane enough to test fate and get infected. Wear your masks outdoors. I'll be wearing mine.

I'm fully vaccinated. I had my booster shots too. I feel like I have done everything that was needed to be done...so why is it still here? I've done the responsible thing to do. I'm complied to everything the scientists said. So why is Covid still here?

Fuck it! Fuck that!

Qing hugged me tight and ordered me to breathe before my panic attack visited us.

Qing: Breathe with me. Don't agitate yourself like this, Feng Jian Yu. You have been doing so well in managing your anxieties. Don't do this to us now.

The wedding prep won't throw me in panic but Covid is doing me in. Ugh! I hate it.

But I managed to calm down. Qing helped and the ice cream he brought to me did as well.

I feel like life is not so good right now but thats just me being pessimistic.

There is some silver lining though. Like I promised, I had a day with Candy, the Goddess' lovely daughter. You might all remember that my one and only brilliant business decision I ever did in my life was to invest some of my money to the Goddess' beauty products. I still do that and my humble investment is still earning some decent profits, which is always good for me.

So when I had a free afternoon, I took Candy with me to the beauty shop that her Mommy own and we had a beauty day there. We are known there so the staffs were all friendly to us. I treated them to snacks and drinks while they worked on our hair, nails, and faces. But since Candy still chew on her nails and fingers, we didn't put on any nail polish.

We had fun getting primped up while gossiping with the salon workers. They know lots of stuffs from current events, entertainment news and even politics. I learned some stuffs and thats good for me.

After the salon visit, Candy and I went to a cafe for some strawberry mille crepe cake and milkshake. I bought her a kitten stuff plushie before going back home because Candy decided it was nap time and went to sleep in my arms. The Goddess thanked me for having a date with her daughter. She pulled me into their unit for some tea.

Me: (while letting the tea cool down) What did you do in those couple of free hours?

Goddess: (smiling prettily) I took a nap.

Me: (chuckling) Oh. I see.

Goddess: I didn't even check my phone to see if you will message me. And you didn't...so I gathered everything was alright with you and Candy.

Me: Yeah. We had fun.

Goddess: Good. And just so you know, I fully trust you to look after her well. So...

Me: So...

Goddess: So you should know that if ever things didn't go well for me, she's yours.

Me: (flabbergasted) What?

Goddess: Yeah. (laughing) So you better stop me if I suddenly declare I want to commit a crime because if I end up in jail, you'll look after her.

Me: (laughing as well) Nah. Just dump the crime on me. I'll do the jail time for you.

It was a bonus that I had a good conversation with the Goddess too.

Ah...why do I feel uneasy? Like things will not go my way again. Its the feeling I hate the most. Maybe because I know my intuition has never led me astray before. These type of feeling are sure to manifest.

Well dear readers, let me take some deep breaths to brace myself for whatever disappointing things will come my way. May is proving to be a tricky month for me.