misery

part 5

this can't be worse. i told myself. i turned around and looked at the name of the pills. these are oxy's? who the hell can take them? of course John! fuck! i felt good, but it didn't matter. i went to room where were John sleeping

"John?"

"uh, huh... what's up?" he said sleepy

"are you taking oxy's?"

"what the hell are you talking about?"

"i went to the bathroom to take my pills, but i took these oxy's! fuck John! i dont wanna take drugs!"

"calm down darling, how do you feel?"

"actually good. i feel good. but it doesn't matter!" i was full of rage.

"calm down and sit, it's not worknig yet. but when it starts, it feels really cool!" he said calmly. he took them too.

"what are ya doing?"

"im taking them too, why not?"

"god."

my legs were weak. i fell on the floor. i lay there. i can't stood. John took me on the bed and lay me on her. i couldn't move. i had opened mouth. i wanted to close it, but i couldn't. for a while i was just laying on my bed. then i could talk.

"ey John, it's not that bad."

"what was i talking about." he laughed

"why this doesnt doing with you anything?"

"y'know im taking this for while..."he said quietly.

"really?"

"yeah.. im weak... i couldnt stand the fame. so i started..."

"oh well... that is not good..." i was staring at him and then he kissed me. he helped me to next to him and we fell asleep.
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knock knock.
fuck
"John! wake up! they can't see us!"

"shit! where can i hide?!"

"in my closet. quickly!"

he hid in the closet and i opened the doors. there was Ringo.

"hello Paul. it's late you should wake up! it's 11 o'clock."
what? i slept so long

"yea im coming, just give me second."
i closed the doors. John was laughing. i got my clothes on me and told John to go away. he went to his room on tiptoes.

i came to the kitchen and made some breakfast or lunch? i dunno. i sat on the chair and opened newspaper. there was big text with my picture. oh god really? i started to read it.

Paul McCartney had a heart attack. what caused it? is he taking a drugs? what our little Paul is hiding from us?

"stop reading that." Ringo said

"this is so ridiculous." i laughed

"yeah, so stop." Geo said

"okay i'll stop, i was just curious."

then came down John. he had large pupils and narrowed eyes. again? really John? he came to me and sat next to me. he looked into my eyes and i was just saying in my head stop John please stop. but he didn't stop. i hoped he wont tell something stupid.

"hello Paulie!" he said and smiled

"ey John..."

"how is doing my darling?"

"what?"

he came closer to me and tried to kiss me. boys were looking at us. their mouth were opened.

"you took drugs John, right? what are you doing?!"

"you liked this yesterday, didnt you?"

I grabbed my heart. I began to breathe deeply and i didnt know what was happening. i think i had panic attack. my body was starting shaking and then i couldnt breath.

"Paul are you okay?!" John said

"i-i-i dunno i cant breath."i said without breath

i sat on the floor. everybody came to me. and said 'calm down', but how? i was shaking and not breathing on the floor. this was my first panic attack. I've had something before, my throat tightened, but this never. they didnt know what to do. John had panic attack when his mother died. he had an idea.

"inhaler!" he shouted

"what? inhaler? we have an inhaler?" Geo asked

"dunno i look after that! look at him he cant breath!"

he stood up and went to look in the first aid kit.
it wasnt there.
"fuck! it maybe will kill paul!"
he said for his self.
he came down and said to them. i was still shaking and hardly breathing.
calm down Paul! you will dieee. you must calm down!

"Paul, you have to stand up and go with us."Ringo said

"o-o-kay il-l tr-y."
i stand up and they put me in the car. we went to the hospital. they hold my hands, if they didnt i'd probably fall on the floor. some doctor saw me and took me on room. he gave me something to calm down. then i just closed my eyes and lay on the bed.