Cigarette under moonlight (bxb)

17

Nikum asked me to meet him at his house today. I'm panicking. This is scary. Help me, someone. I asked the only person I know, Nick, and he told me to pack some condoms so I cut the call. I mean why the hell would I pack that? It's not like we are going to have sex, let me change that, it's not like we will have intercourse, okay wow that sounds way worse, make love? Why am I even talking about that?

I open my closet, can I even call this a closet? I need to look decent, Nikum always looks so good no matter what, Kanishk asked him to "drop your skincare routine" but he just laughed it off. I mean it's either he found it funny or he just didn't want us to know his secret. I think the second one is more valid.

Nikum is so stunning, it makes my heart hurt, can you believe that he likes me? How? Maybe I will ask him that today.
Or maybe not. My main concern is clothes, what should I wear? Should I go all out and dress like a sexy diva? I wish I could but apparently, I don't have good clothes. Sigh. Once I start to earn I will finally be able to afford the stuff that I want. Gosh, my life is sad.

After twenty minutes of thinking and an hour of watching Harry Styles's concert videos, I decided to wear my fur coat. Just kidding, I don't own any fur, sigh. I wear a plain white t-shirt and black pants. I stand in front of the mirror to take a look but I don't like what I see. My anxiety starts creeping up, everything is making me feel nauseous and dizzy. I sit on the floor, my head in my hands. I start chanting my keep calm mantra, and try tracing the lines on my palm. I take deep breaths telling myself that it will be alright. Everything will be just alright, don't worry, you are safe. But my head is pounding now and my whole body is trembling.

"Why?" I whisper, "why now? Please leave, please I can't do this now. Make this okay, please, please." I beg the creature to be calm, just for tonight let me be happy. Surprisingly it listens to me today and I feel it going away. I breathe in slow and calm. I go into the bathroom, wash my face and go down. I stand in front of my gate, if I stand near Nikums then that would be strange, for other people. I'm playing some random game when I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around to see Nikum standing there with a huge smile on his face. Without thinking I hug him, and then I realise what I'm doing so I try to pull back but he is holding me close. I feel so warm and peaceful. Never leaving him now.

"Okay, now I don't want people staring at us, why don't we go in?" I said he smiled and nodded. We walked towards his house and went inside. We weren't going anywhere out as Nikum has said he would be strained from work, but he did say that next time we will go someplace. I mean all I can think is that there is a next time.

Once we are inside I take a good look at him, and I visibly gasp. He is in a suit, a SUIT. Does he have to look like a god every time? Who wears a suit? I can't take this, I just can not. He looks so hot, what the fuck. Okay, aarav, breathe. Yes, keep on breathing.

Before I can stop myself I say something stupid, "I hope you know how to do CPR"

"I'm sorry?" He asks, looking so confused.

"Cause you just took my breath away." I complete my awkward attempt at flirting(can you even call this flirting?) we both stare at each other in silence, me smiling and him looking confused. I can hear crickets. When an eternity passes and he still didn't say anything, I sigh. Can't believe I have to explain this, why am I not dead already?

"Um," I start and then stop and start again, "see what I meant was, you are hot which made me stop breathing? And uh CPR is you know-"

Nikum starts to laugh before I could finish my very ethical explanation, he is laughing so hard that he had to sit down. Okay, what is happening?

"Oh, I'm so sorry," he says when he finally stops, I awkwardly chuckle and scratch my head as I don't know what to do, and he asks me to go near him. I walk toward the sofa and my foot slips which makes me fall. On Nikum. I'm not complaining. He is laying on the sofa with me on top of him, I half expect him to throw me away but instead, he wraps his arms around me. Our bodies are pressed against each other, and I feel really warm. I think he can hear my heart beating wildly. He lifts me, and with a plop, he is on top of me. Guess we know who is top, geez Aarav calm down. My hand slowly traces his face, I lift my neck for the kiss but it's too much work so instead, he brings his. I'm still not good at kissing but I try my best, it's smooth. I have no other words to describe it, I can taste cigarettes but somehow I like them. Again he lifts me up and now we are sitting beside each other. His hands cup my face and kiss it, he kisses my eyelid and I don't think I've ever felt this adored.

He pulls us apart and we stare at each other for a while, none of us is speaking. We are not breathless like they say in the book, it's a calm silence.

"So, is this the part where I take your shirt off?" I ask him, half-serious. He laughs, oh I wish I could always make him laugh.

"If you want to", he says with a smirk on his face. He looks at me like he is challenging me to do it. I try my most adoring smile and tell him soon, he places a hand on his heart, " ouch."