Cigarette under moonlight (bxb)

11

"I'm just saying that I would not have sex with Divin-"

"-dude, what the fuck! I never asked" Nick was sitting on his bin bag while I was lying in his bed staring at his beautiful ceiling; I don't know how we came to this conversation; it's been almost two weeks since we went to his concert and Nick would not shut up about it. Even his super-loving and awesome parents shouted at him to stop talking about Divine whenever they met anyone.

"Nick, I was thinking of coming out."

"Where? Can I go with you too?" He asked, and I stayed silent to give him a moment to understand what I meant, and he eventually got it, "Oh, you mean like come out? I get it now."

"So", I rolled on my stomach and looked at Nick, sitting straight now, giving me his full attention, "not to my parents but Dev, he deserves it, but I am scared too."

"Why are you scared? It's Dev; we can kill him anytime." That made me smile. I don't know how Kanishk does this, but he always knows how to make others smile, "if you want, I can be with you there to give you moral support."

"And what exactly do you mean by it?"

"I'll just tell him about the whole concert thing again, and he said that he loved it, so that it will be fun, man I love Dev, bro."

"He used the word hate and not love."

"Yeah, you are right he said, love."

I sighed and took my phone to check messages. I opened Nikum's contact. I badly wanted to text him to know how he was doing, to be with him, close to him. The last I saw him was on the day of the concert when we talked; I can remember it so clearly. It's a memory that will never get erased from my brain. I've been so busy with my assignments and exams that I didn't get to go out. Whenever I see him now, it's when he is leaving for work, I don't know what he does, but he looks pretty dapper whenever he leaves his house.

Nick and I talked about random things for an hour, then got pretty tired, so I told him I'll leave now. I said bye to him while he did his usual drama of how I don't spend time with him but still came to drop me off at his gate.

"No!" I almost screamed, but I was used to this so often that I quickly controlled it, "Why do you ask this every time, man, and literally, why should I have a shower with you anyway."

"See, you'll have many advantages" He did a body roll for some reason, and he did it so dramatically, throwing his head on his back while licking his lips, god this idiot guy, "One you'll get to see my sexy body-"

"Yeah, bye"

~~~

"So her daughter is Lebanese", my mom, as usual, was starting her daily gossip news; all day, she stayed silent, and then when we had dinner, she would start talking and tell us everything about the whole world.

It took me a minute to get that she meant lesbian, and before I could correct her, my father did, "Lesbian", he said without looking up. I scanned his face to see an expression of disgust, but there wasn't any. I would be lying if I said I didn't feel relieved and a little excited.

"Whatever, that was so shocking; she always seemed so normal, then suddenly she became leban- lesbian" The way she said lesbian sounded like the most shameful word ever, and that made my skin crawl with fear and anxiety.

"She is normal", my father spoke sternly, "it's not some disease that she got, it's perfectly normal, and I think you should stop talking and eat quickly."

Dev and I looked at each other and shared a nod. I looked at my plate and started to finish what was left. I had always thought my father would be a homophobe, but what he said to my mom made me feel differently. I didn't want to get too excited as sometimes parents get relaxed about things that others do, but when it comes to them, they get mad.

I was anxiously sitting on my bed, staring at my hands and biting my lips. Dev was also in the room but sitting calmly. Why it's always so hard?

"We have been sitting for eighteen minutes now. Do you want to speak?"

"IM GONNA SHARE SOMETHING DEEPLY PERSONAL I NEED A LITTLE TIME"

"Whoa damn- yeah, take all the time."

I looked at him, and he didn't look like he would shout at me. I know that no matter what happens, he will always love me, but still, a little part of me says the total opposite, and I'm trying to ignore that voice, but it's so loud that it's killing all the positive things.

"I wanted to s-say that", I nervously glanced at him, "I am- I want, I mean I am, wait what am I saying, I am g- want to marry you?" What the actual fuck Aarav? Why would you say that!

"For real?"

"No, no, that's not it, um I-" SAY IT! It's A THREE LETTER WORD G-A-Y gay! Come on, repeat after me, "Gay, I mean, I am g-gay."

"Oh, okay"

I looked up to see him, and I was waiting to get slapped, but that didn't happen, and neither he looked angry; his face looked relaxed, and his aura was not radiating any hard vibes. That made me feel a little calm.

"I love you, Rav, and I will always love you. You don't have to be so nervous now, okay? I'm proud of you" He wrapped his arms around me.

We stayed like that for some time, which was comforting but a little weird.

"Should I-"

"Yeah," I said.

"What if I said that I already knew?"

Shock would be an understatement to describe what I felt.

"HOW?"

"Oh, you know, little things that I noticed, you know, that trip we went on two years back? And you couldn't stop staring at that guide, well that was fine, but the main thing was when you brought shirtless posters of actors and tapped them on your room, oh and-"

The more he said, the more I got embarrassed, and suddenly I regretted telling him. I thought he would give a speech about how he loves me, but here he was, making fun of me. A part of me was happy that this was normal and nothing had changed.

"Oh, and how you used to kiss those posters daily."

"THAT WAS ONE TIME, OKAY!" He broke into fits of laughter, and I threw a pillow at him, which he caught and threw back at me, which hit me on my face, and we got into a mad pillow fight. Laughing.

~~
Yo yo yo! Your star is back!!!! Sorry after vanishing, life was not good. I'm kinda anxious I don't know if y'all will like this or not. I hope you do!

I was gonna upload 2-3 chapters but somehow they didn't get SAVED😭😭 and while I was checking stuff I couldn't find them and had this breakdown of. Anygays I'll write it again and post it soon(or maybe not soon) till then take care bubs🥰