Cigarette under moonlight (bxb)

21

Sitting at my desk, looking at my books, yes, I want to die. But unfortunately, I can't, as I have to submit my assignments before that. So, I'll schedule my death for later. My finals are coming, and no, I'm not scared. I don't want to brag, but I get good grades. I'm not saying I was in the top 5 students, but that's what I'm saying.

I have been sitting at my desk since the afternoon. Since then, I have received or missed 22 calls from Kanishk. If I pick up his call, I must say goodbye to my assignments. My phone rang again; I was ready to block Nick in the meantime, but instead, I was greeted by Ivaan's name. I pick up because he won't call without reason.

"Hey, Ivaan! What's u-"

"Please tell Kanishk to stop calling me; no hard feelings, but I need to focus," he says with such urgency; aw, poor guy. I love Nick very much, but he is the most annoying when it comes to studying. He can never focus; it takes him 4-5 hours to concentrate, and after that, he does his stuff perfectly. Sometimes I want to be like that.

"Oh, I'm sorry; he does that sometimes." Don't worry, though; it's about time, and he will stop on his own. "You just have not to pick up his calls."

"But won't he feel... offended?" I don't want him to get mad at me."

"No, don't worry about that, he... Uh, he knows. It takes him time to adjust his focus on one thing. "This only happens when he is studying."

"Okay, I will do that then. Anyway, how are you doing?" asks Ivaan in a lighter tone now.

We chatted briefly about our finals, Nick, and how his date with Nick went. I already knew that, as Nick had called me when he got him. He sounded so happy that it made me very emotional. I felt like a proud mother for some reason. Well, he is my baby. That day, we talked till 2 am about everything from how cute Ivaan is to why Nick thinks Nikum will be a good underwear model; honestly, I don't know how we got there. But I did have a pretty good dream that night.

As soon as I end the call with Ivaan after making a plan to meet with him tomorrow, I get a call from Nikum. My heart picks up a faster beat. I stare at his name on the screen, wondering if it's real. I pick up the call, and my voice comes out in a very squeaky way.

I clear my throat. "Sorry, Hi."

"No worries, babe, you sounded cute," he chuckled. I gasped for a full five seconds because of what he called him. He says that so casually; why does it shiver down my whole body? He asks me what happened.

"Nothing, Nothing. "What's up?" I sounded so awkward. My cheeks are burning red from only hearing his voice, and here I thought those romance books were shit.

"So, your friend, Kanishk, called me, which was weird. How did he get my number?" he asks. His voice sounds a bit slurred or sleepy. I can't tell; I'm too busy playing with the hem of my shirt to contain the excitement.

"I'm pretty sure he stole it from me."

"Whoa, that's a crime. Kanishk told me to tell you about your brother having a fake job or something. Honestly, I don't remember.", Nikum's voice sounds very relaxed. I wonder what's he doing right now.

"What are you doing right now?" I ask. Half expected him to say that he was missing me, but that was a silly thought. I cringe at that right after thinking, why do I feel so childish? I wish I could stop my brain from being so cheesy, and I wish I could be with Nikum.

"Just hanging at home. Alone", he adds the last part after a pause; it feels intentional, but I don't say anything. I don't say anything because I don't know what to say. My heart is stuck in my throat. I didn't realise how much I missed him until now. I need to take a step back. My feelings are too big. I can't let it consume him or me, and I don't want to suffocate him.