Cigarette under moonlight (bxb)

7

The whole ride to the stadium was chaotic, Nikum drove us there as nick was crying the whole time. He was laughing in between and I was really worried but choose to ignore him. And at some point, he was singing.

We reached the stadium at 3 o'clock, we were 2 hours early and I thought that nobody will be there but as soon as I got out of the car and went near the stadium there was a hell of a lot of people. All of them were shouting or singing or dancing, it was chaotic and I felt a little scared that I'll get lost in this crowd, my heart started to beat fast because of the crowd and I stood in one place looking down and trying to catch my breath. I'm not a social butterfly and I hate crowded places I'd rather be locked inside a cell than go out and meet people, they give me anxiety.

At some point, I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up to meet Nikum's honey-brown eyes sunlight was hitting his face which made his eyes look beautiful. As I was looking at them I felt the surrounding around me disappear it was like I was lost in a trance.

"Are you okay?" He asked while his hands left my shoulder disappointment surrounded me but that was soon gone as his hands found mine and he held them. My heart went away from my chest and I died as I died there but as I wanted to be with him and remember this moment I came back to life.

"Oh um crowded place makes me feel anxious and suffocated"

"Oh don't worry I'm here, I'll protect you" he smiled and his smile danced through the air and found landed on my lips. His lips looked so soft that I instantly wanted to put mine on them but I had to control my urge, I looked away and blushed. Suddenly I remembered that we had Nick with us too, I looked around but he was nowhere to be seen so I asked Nikum about him and he said he left him near a wall poster of Divine.

We quickly made our way to Nick and I soon spotted him near that poster, he was looking at it in awe. I took out my phone and quickly snapped a picture.

I tapped on his shoulder and he turned towards me his expression was, how should I say, they were like when a kid finds out that candy land is real. Magical, yeah maybe that's what he was feeling. And I'm not exaggerating this when I say that he really can die for Divine.

I told him that we should get in line and he shouted no and Nikum and I just froze,

"I mean," Nick said carefully, "that we don't have any banners and I don't want to go inside like that, can we please go and make them!"

"We don't have that much time to go back the concert is I'll probably be started by now, I'm sorry bub" he looked like he was about to cry and that made my heart shatter into pieces, I wish I could do something but we didn't He time.

"Or maybe," Nikum said with a sly smirk on his face, "we could borrow some banners, that way we don't have to go anywhere, do you like it? I mean it is a genius idea-"

"No, it's a terrible idea! And we will not do it, we will not steal-"

"Who said steal" Kanishk cut me off and stood between me and Nikum which I didn't like but that was not the point, "we are just borrowing-"

"That's stealing you assholes! Do you think that they will let you take their banners? NO! And I know that you will take them without their permission so no. We are not doing to steal-"

"Borrow" Nikum and Kanishk said at the same time.

"Borrow" I glared at them, "and nick come on even if you take banner or not it doesn't matter you adore him and he will know that even if you don't that take a stupid piece of paper"

"Well," nick said and moved away from where he was to in front of me, "you are not wrong" suddenly I felt something touch my shoulder I looked over to see Nikum standing near me, close to me, our shoulders were touching that meant we were having body contact and that meant unlimited butterflies in my stomach and then meant-

"Bro are you even listening"

"Huh?"

"If you please pay attention here and not to your cru-"

I swear I haven't screamed this loud in my entire life, some people looked in our direction and judged us but I didn't give a fuck to them. I shushed Nick by my screaming and told everyone that we should probably get in line and went away.

I went somewhere entirely else when I left from there being fully embarrassed I just walked and I guess took a few turns and ended up in a lobby, no it wasn't a lobby it was something, okay so it was a place! There was no one here and I felt a little relieved by that and sat down on the floor hugging my knees. I didn't want Nikum to think that I was some weirdo but I guess he already thought that I was.

I liked him and I wanted to be presentable in front of him so he would think that I was good and maybe he will like me back. Maybe.

What if he is not into guys? What if he is a homophobe? No, he can't be a homophobe. But what if he starts to hate me when he finds out that I'm gay or that I like him? What if everyone finds out? What if my parents find out? They will probably hate me and throw me out and then I'll have no family, I'll be alone. No no I don't want to be alone I'd hate that I want these people if I lose them then I'll die, what if I kill myself? Then I'll not have to deal with any of this and I don't think anyone will care if I die, sure they will cry but then they will forget about me in a few days and get into their routine again.

I didn't know when the tears started to slip out of my eyes and I started sobbing, my hands got cold and sweaty and I got this burning sensation in my chest, for a moment I thought that I'll die here. I hugged my knees tighter and buried my head into them.

A part of me wanted to stop crying as it thought this was stupid but another part of me said that I should cry and let out the things I have been holding for a long.

I heard footsteps approaching where I was but I didn't look up, I thought that maybe they were security and were here to throw me out but suddenly I felt someone wrapping their arms around me and keeping their head on the back of my neck. I could feel their warm breath on my neck and they hold me a little tighter when I shivered.

"It's okay I'm here, you are fine now baby" and I knew instantly who it was.

Nikum.

~💙

Okay so sorry for updating after so long! Um, I don't know what to say but yeah last few weeks were chaotic and stressful and I needed some time to figure out stuff and get back in place. Well I'm not back in place and stuff is not good but I thought that instead of doing nothing I should write and as soon I started to write I felt so happy and alive!

This chapter is good but I'm satisfied with it. Yay Idk what else to say so thank you for reading and I'll update soon!

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