At The End Of The World Together Forever // TOMORROW X TOGETHER [BeomJun]

Chapter Fourteen - Too many Graves

Yeonjun crouched into the grass right in front of the grave. The stone was smooth and gray. He looked at the engraved names and numbers, imagining the people under him being strangers. But they weren't strangers.

There was a single flower wreath leaning against the tombstone. Yeonjun knew that his foster parents always ordered one every month to be placed here. For eight years.

He lifted his right hand and reached out to the ribbon which was wrapped around the flower petals that were entwined around the wreath. His body fell on one knee while he touched the fabric of the ribbon. It was polyester. The ribbon was orange, Yeonjun's favorite color, and the flowers in the wreath were orange Gerberas. They looked a little like sunflowers, they always reminded Yeonjun of his mom. She loved sunflowers.

Yeonjun could feel Beomgyu's gaze on him. He stood behind him and swiveled his eyes between the grave and the flower wreath and back to Yeonjun. He didn't know what to say or what to do. Beomgyu never knew what to do in these situations.

He looked down at Yeonjun again and saw him wearing his earphones. Beomgyu wondered what song Yeonjun was listening to right now.

Turning around, Beomgyu saw that the other three were sitting on a bench minding their own business, looking in all sorts of directions, but not once in Yeonjun and Beomgyu's direction. He took a turn to look at Yeonjun again. His hand wasn't touching the ribbon anymore but his gaze still lingered on the names engraved in the stone.

His gaze fixed on Yeonjun, who was staring at the gravestone of both his parents, reminded Beomgyu of where he was at the moment. He looked around again, examining his surroundings, seeing graves over graves and flowers in different colors and sizes. Old trees were standing between big and small and smooth stones colored in gray and black and white. His eyes wandered around the whole cemetery until they stopped on a specific stone. It was small. Very small.

Yeonjun heard footsteps behind him, the gravel crunching under him as the sound distanced itself from him. He looked to the right and saw Beomgyu walking away with a very tense body. His arms didn't move, but Yeonjun saw his fingers scratching the palm of his hands nervously. He furrowed his brows in confusion, making his tears roll down his face faster.

Yeonjun looked to the left and saw Soobin, Taehyun and Kai having their gazes fixed on Beomgyu as well. He slowly rose from his crouched position, but didn't take his eyes off the three sitting on the bench. His eyes slowly followed their gazes and Yeonjun turned his body towards Beomgyu who came to a halt in front of a small, white grave plastered with little butterflies in different colors. It was the only grave that had colors like blue, red and orange on it despite the common stone color that every other grave around it had as well.

Beomgyu stared at the butterflies and counted them. 1, 2, 3, 4. Why only four? Was it because the stone was so small? Why didn't they make it bigger then? There should be more butterflies on the grave. How many butterflies would be on the tombstone if Beomgyu would lay under it? Or wouldn't there be butterflies? Perhaps stars or little bears. Little bears sitting on the grave picking flowers or looking up in the sky. Why was this sight so painful?

With every step Yeonjun made, the gravel under him seemed to get noisier. He stopped the music in his ears because it felt very inappropriate all of a sudden. The closer he got, the more Yeonjun realized why this specific grave Beomgyu was standing in front of was different from the others.

Yeonjun stopped right next to Beomgyu without taking his gaze off of his face. He couldn't figure out his expression. He didn't know if he was sad or not or if he just looked at the grave because of the bright colors of the butterflies or if it were someone he knew. Yeonjun slowly followed Beomgyu's eyes and read the engraved name on the tombstone. It had the same last name as Beomgyu. The death date was only 9 years apart from the birth date.

"Who is that?" Yeonjun whispered with a quiet voice. It was almost inaudible.

Beomgyu didn't look up from the grave but his eyes filled with tears, he didn't even realize it. Yeonjun's worry grew and his hand twitched as he wanted to hold his hand or rub his back, wanted to do anything to comfort him.

"Is that why you wanted to come here?" Yeonjun continued to ask, his voice getting quieter with every sentence. Beomgyu nodded his head and then sniffed. The bright colors on the grave made this moment so awfully pathetic.

Beomgyu felt a tight squeeze on his left hand, sensing the touch of Yeonjun's hand holding his'. Beomgyu couldn't think about the past or the thought of hearing his name in his head after a very long time while reading out the name on the grave in front of him. Beomgyu only thought about how ridiculous it was that he and Yeonjun wanted to go to Ratport City to visit the cemetery. Both of them chasing after deceased relatives that died way too early in their lives. Ridiculous. It was so ridiculous.

"Beomgyu?" Yeonjun whispered close to his ear, his hand now clutching onto his arm very tightly. His grip didn't hurt, but was rather reassuring as if he was vigilant to not let Beomgyu fall, feeling like that would happen any minute. Beomgyu quickly wiped his tears away.

"I'm good. I'm okay."

"Who is that?" Beomgyu swung his head around and looked Yeonjun in the eyes. His face was frozen in a shock-looking expression as he tried to keep his tears in their place.

"What song are you listening to?" Beomgyu asked, trying to change the topic. He raised his right hand that wasn't being held onto by Yeonjun and wanted to take one earphone out of his ear. Yeonjun kept on holding eye contact and stopped Beomgyu from further moving his hand closer to his face. He wrapped his fingers around his wrist and gently pushed his arm down and away from his face.

Beomgyu's body was tilted in Yeonjun's direction, fully facing him with tears all over his face. Yeonjun let go of Beomgyu's wrist and cupped his cheek. Carefully, he touched his skin and ran his fingertips over his right cheek, up until he could bury them into Beomgyu's hair. He left enough space for his thumb to stroke Beomgyu's face, wiping away the tears that were rolling down and falling on the ground.

"You don't have to worry about me, Beomgyu." Yeonjun's voice was just a breath. Beomgyu wondered why he was so predictable. He was afraid to not let Yeonjun grieve for himself long enough for him to get comforted by Yeonjun all of a sudden. Beomgyu wasn't the only one to have lost someone and Yeonjun has lost two important people in his life, not just one as Beomgyu. It was selfish to get comforted. It was selfish to even think about it.

"Beomgyu. You comforted me enough. Now is my turn to comfort you." Yeonjun tilted his head down and gave Beomgyu a little peck on the lips. It was a simple, delicate touch but enough to free Beomgyu from his frozen state.

Beomgyu blinked his tears away quickly, leaning into Yeonjun's hand further which was still resting on his cheek. His fast beating heart slowly calmed down and the tight feeling around his chest dissolved.

"Do you wanna tell me?" Beomgyu nodded languidly, holding himself at Yeonjun's waist with both hands.

"He... was my older brother." His voice quivered and was barely audible but Yeonjun could hear him very clearly. He rubbed Beomgyu's forearm before he ran his hand up to Beomgyu's upper arm which Yeonjun then continued caressing softly.

"I don't-... I ca- I think I can't talk about it now."

"I know. It's okay." Yeonjun lifted his hand and brushed away a hair strand from Beomgyu's face.

"Thank you for telling me." Beomgyu nodded again and wiped away the remaining tears on his face with the back of his hand. He looked over to the three sitting on the bench and saw them looking at the sky, on the ground, at the grave of Yeonjun's parents. They were avoiding Yeonjun's and Beomgyu's gazes but it was obvious that Soobin wanted to say something. He was rubbing his hands against his thighs and looked nervously at the orange flower wreath in front of the gray tombstone. Beomgyu pondered if he should go up to them and explain himself but he could barely talk about it to Yeonjun.

Beomgyu let go of Yeonjun's waist, whereas Yeonjun let go of Beomgyu's face as well. He scratched the back of his head, trying to do something with his hands but stopped quickly after.

"We should go back to the others." He said, louder than before. Yeonjun didn't take his eyes off of Beomgyu and examined his face for anything that would worry him. He could have just ignored it and acted like everything was fine, but Beomgyu's gaze showed anything other than that he was okay.

"Yeah, let's go back."