Make me feel love

Chapter 14

“Do you know how they say that familia ante Omnia? Well, it simply means that family is over everything else but in my family’s case it was the opposite.” Said Felix while chuckling a bit and for hyunjin, this brought back memories of the time at the park.

Hyunjin could see himself in Felix at the moment and he didn’t know what to say or do. Seeing Hyunjin not being able to say anything, Felix just decided to continue.

“There are four of us in my family, Hyunjin. Me, my older sister, and my parents. Throughout my childhood, I never really saw my parents that much. Sometimes they would just drop by to check up on me or the rest of the time, I lived with my sister and my grandmother, and to be honest, I liked living with them. They cared for me and gave me the attention I never received from my parents.”

“Why did your parents leave you at your grandmother’s house? What were they doing that they couldn’t even care for their own child?” asked Hyunjin who was frustrated by just hearing the story.

“Both my parents used to go out of the country on their long business trips and I always dreaded the moment they would leave again. Well, after some years of living like that, suddenly my parents started spending more time with me. I thought that maybe they let go of their workaholic attitude and decided to focus more on their family. But my assumptions were soon proven right.” Said Felix with a smile that reeked of sadness. It was nowhere near the usual soothing smile that Felix gave.

“What do you mean by that, Felix?” asked Hyunjin slowly so as to not say anything that would hurt Felix

“I still remember that day vividly as if it was just yesterday. I was in middle school at the time and I had a sports competition that day. School had invited all our parents so if anyone wished they could come and cheer us up. I decided to ask my parents and surprisingly they agreed. They told me that they were glad that I invited them.” Said Felix who had now tears forming on the sidelines of his eyes.

Hyunjin saw this and started panicking. He thought that maybe he shouldn’t have brought up the topic but it was already too late.

“I was happy for once that my parents would come to visit me in school but they never did. Instead, I was accompanied by the homeroom teacher to the principal’s office. Do you know what happened that day? I am sure you have an idea as to where this is going.” Said Felix turning his attention to Hyunjin who couldn’t say anything as he couldn’t process what Felix was saying but as he regained his thoughts, he knew what was about to come. He didn’t want to say it but it was very evident to him at that time and so he asked it directly.

“How did they die, Felix?” asked hyunjin looking Felix in the eyes

“In a car accident. They were coming to my school when they got into a car accident.” Said Felix who was not showing any kind of emotion in his eyes. Although this made Hyunjin panic a little, he knew that he shouldn’t panic as there was a possibility that Felix was going to break down. And unfortunately for Hyunjin, his gut feeling was turning out to be true. Felix was looking as if he was on the verge of breaking down.

“I shouldn’t have invited them, Hyunjin. I never should’ve wanted them to spend time with me. If they were in a business meeting abroad then they would be alive now. It’s all my fault. It’s all my fault.” Rambled Felix as Hyunjinn searched for a way to calm him down but when he couldn’t find any, he decided to do the only thing he could think of at the moment. He hugged Felix.

Although Hyunjin wasn’t sure if this method was going to work or not, he decided to give it a try. And fortunately for him, this seemed to calm down Felix a little. As Felix melted under his warm touch, he began forgetting everything that was worrying him and he found himself surrounded by a blank space of just a warm feeling.

Although this also became a matter of concern for Felix. He didn’t want to be so obvious and nor did he want to just forget about everything just because someone hugged him. After Felix calmed down a bit, he decided to let go of Hyunjin but to his surprise, it was Hyunjin who was still holding onto him tightly without saying anything.

“I’m okay now. You can let go Hyunjin.” Said Felix in a slow voice
“Are you sure you’re okay?” asked hyunjin as he finally stopped hugging Felix

“I’m okay now. I was just a bit overwhelmed by those emotions, that’s all. It has been more than nine years now.” Said Felix with a sigh

“I won’t say stuff like it will be okay because I also know that it won’t ever be completely fine but I hope that you stop blaming yourself. If not for you, then at least for the sake of your parents who will be feeling more guilty if they see you like this.” Said Hyunjin trying to reassure Felix

“Is that your way of consoling me, hyunjin?” asked Felix while tilting his head

“Maybe. I don’t really know how to console anyone and I am not good with words, so I always say what I truly feel. This is how I feel and this is what I am saying right now.”

“Don’t worry, I am not going to mop over it or something. By the way, do you know I just realized something?” said Felix

“What?”

“I just realized that both of us have this in common. Both our parents never paid any attention to us while we were children and now we are friends. I guess it is fate.” Said Felix before breaking out into a fit of laughter

“Oh god. There comes back your cheekiness.” Said Hyunjin who was also laughing now but as soon as he started laughing he could hear Felix curse under his breath

“What happened?” asked a curious hyunjin

“I forgot that I have to go grocery shopping. You literally don’t have anything to cook in your home and we can’t really depend on delivery food all the time. So I decided that I am going to cook as long as I am here.” Said Felix

“Oh, if you wish then you can do that. By the way, you don’t have to go grocery shopping alone. I will come with you. Let’s go in the evening.” Said hyunjin

“Sure. Then we both will go grocery shopping.” Announced Felix

It was now the evening after they both had decided to go grocery shopping together. Although at first Felix didn’t realize it,  later when he thought about it deeply he realized that no matter how you look at it, it seemed like a supermarket date that he had read about in romance novels.

Felix wanted to dress up a little after thinking that but he soon slapped himself mentally for thinking of this outing as a date. He thought that it was just a polite gesture on Hyunjin’s part to come to the store with him. But just as they both got out of the house and began driving near the mart, another worry popped up inside Felix’s brain and this time, it was not something that he could ignore.

“Hyunjin, I don’t think I should go grocery shopping or as a matter, outside at all.”

“What? Why is it?” asked Hyunjin while keeping his eyes on the road

“I just realized that I have lied to chan Hyung and if he sees me then he would be hurt”

“Don’t worry. There’s no way chan hyung would come to the same store at the same time as us. That’s too much of a coincidence.” Reassured hyunjin as they approached the grocery store. But just as fate would have it, things didn’t go according to them at all.

“What are you doing here Felix?” asked chan