After Hyunjin met Felix’s sister, he had been regularly going into Felix’s room and sitting beside him for some time before the nurses urge him back into his room. The whole time that Hyunjin stayed beside Felix, he did nothing except sit beside him. Occasionally he would just talk with himself but even that was rare. People who saw this thought that maybe Hyunjin was taking this situation harder than anyone else and they were worried that by being like this, Hyunjin would worsen his mental health.
This went on for about two weeks before Chan decided to talk to Hyunjin about this. Although he didn’t want to interfere more than he already did, he couldn’t help but worry about the repercussions that Hyunjin might face if he kept this up.
But what the people didn’t know was that right now Hyunjin was in peace somehow. Although he was still sad that Felix was still in a coma, he didn’t feel the usual uneasiness that he felt previously all the time. His mind was calm and composed.
Hyunjin had even started searching for a professional therapist that could help him with his issues. It was important for him that he didn’t hurt Felix anymore and it was also important that he grew out from the shadows of his past. The past that he was so afraid of was something that he had to forget before he wanted a stable relationship with the person he loved. As hyunjin was busy in his thoughts, he couldn’t notice the presence of Chan who had just entered the room.
“What are you doing, Hyunjin?” asked chan which surprised Hyunjin as he hadn’t noticed him but after seeing that it was no one other than chan, he calmed down.
“Nothing much. I was just bored in my room so I came here to sit down for a moment.” Replied Hyunjin
“Oh.” That was all chan said as he contemplated his decision about talking to Hyunjin.
Although he had previously made up his mind, now that he was in front of him, he couldn’t help but hesitate to talk about a matter that might be hard for Hyunjin to deal with. But fortunately for him, it didn’t take long for Hyunjin to notice that Chan was hesitating from saying something.
“What is the matter, Hyung? You can tell me.” said hyunjin
“I… I want to talk about something.” Said chan after taking a deep breath
“Then tell me. what do you want to talk about?”
“I want to talk about you.” said chan after sitting down in a chair beside Hyunjin
“About me? what about me?” asked hyunjin who couldn’t understand what chan was talking about this seriously
“Are you okay, Hyunjin?” asked chan
“Wha… That came out of nowhere. But to answer your question I am okay. Did anything happen?” replied Hyunjin who was taken aback by the question
“Nothing particular happened but it’s just that you seem a little too out of it. I don’t really know how to say this. But to put it bluntly, then I am asking about your mental health.”
“Oh,” said Hyunjin as he finally realized why Chan was acting this cautiously. He could understand that Chan was worried about his mental health because after their previous encounter all he really did was just sit beside Felix and stare into nothingness.
“I am okay, Hyung. Both physically and mentally. You don’t have to worry about anything.” Reassured Hyunjin
“I can’t help but feel guilty about that day. I thought that maybe you took it way harder than you should have and therefore you were doing this.” Confessed chan
“You don’t have to worry about this anymore. I truly am okay. I am here because I just want to be beside him for some time. Honestly speaking, my mind is at peace right now. By the way, do you know that his sister visited the hospital?”
“Ah yes, I know that she came to visit him sometime back. I was the one who received her. But why are you asking this?”
“Then do you also know that she came to talk with me?”
“What? When did that happen? I don’t know anything about that.” Said chan who was flustered due to the piece of information
“I guess she came after he left this room. We talked for quite some time that day.”
“I see. I didn’t know that.”
“That day she made me realize that I was being selfish. I was the person who was harming me as well as the people who cared for me. I didn’t even know that.” Said Hyunjin before continuing
“You know, I never thought I would ever be in such a situation but now that I am, I can’t help but feel conflicted. My heart and mind are saying different things and I didn’t know what to do anymore. After you said that he loved me, I didn’t know how to react. I couldn’t help but feel stupid that I was this oblivious about someone who was with me all the time but thanks to that, I could also feel something after a very long time.”
“Then do you mean that you also…” interrupted chan
“Yes, I also like him and it’s more than a friend would do. I don’t know if it’s love but what I do know is that I want to be with him all the time. I want to care for him and I want to protect him as he did for me. I know that it’s pathetic for me to have this kind of reaction when I am the one who was pushing him away but still my heart races at the words ‘Felix loves you’. I can’t help but be hopeful. Now if that isn’t what you call love, I don’t know what is.” said Hyunjin as he took Felix’s hand into his.
It was always a funny sight for Hyunjin how Felix’s hands were so small that they could fit easily into his hands. Seeing Hyunjin smile after such a long time, chan couldn’t help but feel relieved.
“You know, I never really believed in the phrase that love conquers all but I guess I might have to correct myself. I just want you to know that no matter what the future holds for the both of you, I will support you. I can’t just let my two closest friends struggle due to some prejudices. Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning. That is also applicable for you.” said chan as he couldn’t help but break out into a smile seeing Hyunjin smile so preciously
“I know that Hyung. Don’t worry; I will treat him better after he regains his consciousness. I have pondered over this for a long time. After you said that he loved me, I couldn’t help but feel that I can’t be his friend. Nor can I be his lover. I also didn’t want to be the reason we hold back each other from falling in love with somebody other. But now I know that I might not get this perfect of a person if I let him go right now. After admitting my feelings, he shines brighter in my eyes, and every word that he said became more meaningful to me. Who’d ever thought that liking someone can make you this greedy? I fear that after he wakes up, he would forget about me. But now I want to always be by his side. While this urge to touch him grows each second, holding his hand like this… It’s hard for me to let go. I really don’t want to let go.”
“Hah, the mood suddenly turned serious. Let’s just stop talking about this. Even the guy we are talking about is lying here peacefully while we are here racking our brains. It’s not like a miracle will happen and he would just wake up right now. I will take my leave now. You should also head back soon. Don’t overstrain yourself.”
But the Cruel and merciful fate was playing games with them. As soon as Chan stood up from his seat and was just about to make his way towards the door, a sudden beep stopped him in his tracks. That beep was from the monitoring device beside Felix and as that beep continued to sound, the miracle that was supposedly not going to happen according to Chan happened. As Hyunjin and chan, both couldn’t believe their eyes when the man that was lying down in front of them just moments ago opened his eyes, a familiar voice was heard inside the room.
“Hy…Hyunjin.”
YOU ARE READING
Make me feel love
FanfictionA poet and lyricist who has never fallen in love, yet always writes about love and an actor who doesn't believe in love but is the heartthrob of a zillion people. What will happen when they meet? Will it be the start of a sweet love story or the beg...
