The Dick Gawd

Place in Your Life

Rae

"Thank you for coming by, come on in" he nervously stated as he took a step back and stood to the side so that I could make my way through the entryway.

Well here goes nothing. I thought to myself as I gave him a tight tentative smile made my way into the living room and for the first time in four months came face to face with not only my brother but the woman, I considered not just my best friend but my sister.

Lord, please give me strength.

She cautiously stood to her feet and took a step in my direction as I unconsciously took a step back. The hurt flashed over her face immediately as she paused mid step before recoiling and slowly sitting back on the couch.

My heart hurt that she was hurt, especially since it was my rejection that had caused it, but I couldn't help it because as hurt as I am I'm also equally just as damn angry, but regardless of all how I felt somehow, I still found the need to try and ease the tension.

"Sorry I'm just not there yet" I offered; my explanation hopefully as simple yet honest as I could possibly make it at the moment.

"It's okay I understand" she meekly resonded as Landon walked over to her and put his arm around her in consolation.

"How about we all take a seat?" Landon suggested as he motioned to the couch across from them.

Nodding my agreement, I adjusted my cardigan and sat on the edge of the couch. I used to nestle back against the cushions, but I was a little to on edge to do so right now and clearly, I wasn't the only one who felt that way as Landon and Deja both sat down in the same manner as I did.

"Thank you for coming by, I was surprised to hear from you. Elated but surprised" Landon admitted as he gave me a soft smile.

"Yea I'll be honest I received a hefty nudge before sending you that text message."

They first glanced at each other before looking at me with matching puzzled expressions on their faces.

Slightly adjusting my body so that I was sitting at an angle, "The letter that daddy left me that Aunt Liv was holding onto. I finally opened it. Turns out among other things it was heavy on the reminders that from day one we've been each others day ones. Each other's one single constants" I said with a pause as I watched the emotion wash over my brother's face, "He reminded me that that was one of the things he loved and admired about us was the bond we had with each other." I explained as I took a second to clear my throat from the lump of emotion that had began to form, "he loved that about us, but he also came clean about his concerns where our relationship was concerned as well." I started to continue as my brother's eyebrows began to furrow.

"Concerns in regard to what? As kids we adored each other, still do....atleast I do." He added softly almost as an after thought as the ache in my heart strongly reflected back at me through his eyes.

Pointing at him with my index finger as I slightly tiped my head, and purposely chose to ignore the last part of his statement "And there in was his concern." I stated as I let out a small sigh, "He was scared that because we never butted heads and we always held each up other here" I explained as I held my hand up next to my head in demonstration, "That the longer it went that way the worse the fallout could be should one or both of us do something that the other vehemently doesn't agree with or can't stand by." I finished as my brother's eyes widen and he drops his head between his shoulders.

He was still for a moment before his shoulders slowly started to bounce up and down and he let out a slow labored sigh.

"God, I wish he were here right now...I miss him so much." He murmured as he wiped at his face and slowly lifted his head as Deja gently rubbed her hand up and down his back.