Toxic Chaos (Blaise zabini)

Ten

The only time I was out of my room was for class. I didn't eat, study, or do anything outside of my room. I wanted to avoid everything and everyone. I started to sit alone in my classes ignoring the people who I thought I was close with but I guess not. They tried to include me and talk to me but I never allowed it to happen. I quickly left before they could or I avoided them so well they didn't know where I was and didn't have the chance to.

I'm most upset that Ava didn't tell me. Though I was keeping something from her, it just wasn't the same thing. All three of them were in on it and I was left out. That feels terrible. I Don't know if I know who they are. If they can keep something like that from me what else are they hiding?

-

A week has passed and I still haven't spoken or looked in any of their directions. I did get bored of sitting in my room all day so I started to hang out with Luna and occasionally I'd meet Oliver to blow off steam. I remember why I didn't want to sleep with Oliver again, he just gets too clingy afterward. I can't do that.

I also haven't spoken to my father in the past week because he knew as well. I was betrayed by everyone in my life. My dads tried to talk to me on numerous occasions but I refused. He knew all three of my friends were death eaters. He was at the meeting with Blaise, I knew he was a death eater of course but he kept a huge secret from me. How will I ever forgive any of them?

I was dreading going to the class I have with all of them perusal but it's even worse because my dad is the professor of defense against the dark arts. I enter the dark classroom and take my seat. No one usually sits by me because they all have their little groups as did I.

"Hailee," Blaise says trying to get my attention. I noticed his voice ignored him and didn't look in his direction. I was especially early to class today because I was impatient so my dad wasn't even here yet. "You have to let me explain for all of us," he practically begs. I roll my eyes and look at him. "Good, now I think it'd be good to know that it was your father who didn't allow us to tell you. He isn't ready for you to become a death eater and Voldemort has been watching you," he explains as hopeful as he can reveal. "So you all just listened to him? I Don't believe that," I say repulsed.

"No exactly, he threatened us," Blaise grits his teeth. "What could he have said that my best friend wouldn't tell me something this big," I look away in disgust. "He said you will die if you become a death eater and if you knew-," I cut him off, "Does he think I'm weak or something," I get offended. "No but Voldemort wants you to do something dangerous and you'll most likely die," he explains sounding unamused. "And what is this so-called task," I look over at him. He looks away in return.

"Hailee you know I can't say," he seems mad. "I've heard all I need so you can leave now," I say with sass. "I think I'll sit here today," he looks over at me amused. My hands go to my books ready to move away from him but he stops me. "If you talk to your dad he will tell you," Blaise goes quiet because my dad enters the classroom. Finally I wanted this to end. But it only got worse.

Just the three of us in the classroom and I was in pain. I needed to leave and I reached for my books again to leave but was interrupted again. "Blaise you sit over there," he comes in front of our table and points to the back of the room. "Stay," I look at Blaise ignoring my dad. He looks at me for a moment before his gaze is turned to my father.

Just in time. People started to enter the classroom and my dad left us. Blaise had no other choice but to stay without being suspicious to the others entering. Ava and Draco eventually joined the class and sat behind us. The entire class I was an uncomfortable mess.

Blaise would turn around to talk to Ava and Draco occasionally making me feel uncomfortable. I could feel all of the eyes peering at my back. And my father kept giving Blaise his very subtle death stare. Why is he so keen on keeping Blaise away from me? I will figure out what is going on here. Mark my words. I always find out. 

-

Later during the night, I was walking through the long cement hallways and I passed by my dad's office. "Hailee I need to speak to you on behalf of Voldemort," he steps in front of me blocking my attempt to escape. "Fine," I finally speak to him. In his office, he sits me down and sighs while refusing to look at me. "Voldemort is threatening me he'll find you and kill you if you don't become a death eater," he manages to get out. "Why," is all I had to say. "Because you're past the age of 16," he explains. "Why does that matter," I say confused. "It's the age of initiation, you should have become a death eater a while ago but I didn't allow it," he keeps it simple not to expose anything he's not supposed to. "Okay how do I become one," I shrug my shoulders. "You just do," he gives me nothing. "Okay great so now I'm a death eater," I stand up and leave to the door. "There's a meeting you will need to attend," he stops me in my tracks. "When," I accept my fate.

As I walk back to my dorm I try to hurry because I'm about to faint. Everything has just completely changed. I'm not looking where I'm going I can't see, my mind is racing as my body walks me to my room. "Hailee, what's wrong with you?" My body comes to a halt. A few seconds after staring at him without realizing it was him I come back to reality. "Nothing wrong with me what makes you think that," I try to sound convincing. "You're crying," he looks at me confused. I look at Blaise horrified not realizing I had been crying. I don't know why this keeps happening I never cry.

"Oh, I didn't even realize," I say without thinking. "How do you not realize that," he sounds concerned. "Let's just say I have a lot on my mind," I give a poor excuse but honestly true. "What is it," he asks the thing I was hoping he wouldn't. "Why do you want to know," I sass. "I'm a curious guy," he shrugs his shoulders. I push past him and walk quickly. I was trying to get away from him as fast as possible. I need a break right now.

"BLAISE STOP," I finally blow up from the pressure on my chest. His eyes widen for a moment before they are back to slouched. I could feel him following me and it was making me so mad I lost control. I didn't want anyone to know what I was truly like. Even Ava hasn't experienced it. Over the years I've mastered the art of control. But it has its downsides, luckily Ava has never pushed me over the edge like Blaise just has.

"Woah, are you okay," he backs up to give me some space. I calm down quickly realizing how badly I've messed up. "Shit I'm sorry I need to go to my room right now," I say genuinely apologetically and leave.