Lacuna

2

2:30 AM

Tricia's heart thumped slow and heavy as she entered their bedroom. She knew that Y/N waited for her, but she chose to spend hours away from their home. "Am I still welcome here?", she thought when she finally dared to look at her sleeping lover of 4 years. She slowly reaches out and carefully traces Y/N face before lying down on the opposite side and stared at the ceiling. They hadn't been intimate for the past 10 months because she felt guilty. While Y/N continues to reach out to her, she ignores all of her efforts. Everyday she acts coldly to Y/N, but Y/N continues to shower her with love and care but yesterday she begged for us to seriously talk about our relationship. She sighed and turned to her side to look at her lover. "I'm sorry about everything love. I promise I'll come clean tomorrow. I will be the Tricia you fell inlove with. I love you." she carefully kisses your forehead and hugged you.

***alarm clock***ringing...ringing...ring***

"Y/N, turn it off please. Day off ko ngayon", Tricia grunted to her lover, but there was no forcing Tricia to get up so she could turn off the alarm herself. "hmm asan si Y/N, 6 AM pa lang but she's not on our bedroom na", she wondered after she got up and fixed their bed. "Y/n? Love? Asan ka?" Tricia loudly asked as she went to their living room.

"I'm in the bathroom, Tricia. There's already breakfast at the table, so if gutom ka na magbreakfast ka na pero uminom ka muna Panadol cause you look like shit from drinking last night." Y/N answered back. Tricia winced and proceeded to drink the Panadol before waiting for Y/N at their dining table to eat breakfast together.

Y/N Pov

"I'm wondering if we can finally talk, Tricia", you said while walking toward your lover. "Lover pa din ba?" You thought to yourself. "What do you mean, love? Ang aga pa, breakfast muna tayo before we talk", Tricia told you.

You sighed. "I can't do this anymore, Tricia. I think we need to end things na", you forcibly told her, clearing your throat, hoping to suppress the sobs trying to break free.

"What?" Tricia, with her surprised look, dumbly asked you. "Ang cute mo pa rin doc magreact", you thought when you saw her reaction.

Silence filled the entire unit

"Why? Why do we need to end things?" Tricia suddenly asked while she bits her lip.

"You know why. Do I need to explain it to you? 10 months Trish. 10 fucking cold and unbearable months kita tiniis and sinusuyo but what did you do? If you do not love me anymore then tell it to my face" you spat; anger is easier to handle than a shuttered heart after losing Tricia.

"I... I thought you were okay with whatever has been going on with us for the past 10 months." Tricia weakly told you.

"Who would be happy with that kind of setup? We've been together for 4 years, have known each other since we were kids and ngayon ka pa talaga magsasabi na okay ako sa ganun na setup. Come on Trish, sino ba niloloko mo? Ikaw or ako?", you're trying to control your voice and emotion, your gaze dropped to the floor, trying so hard not to cry in front of her. "Love shouldn't hurt like this." you continued.

"Please...I don't want to end things between us. I fucked up, I know. Pero give me one more chance, love. Please Y/N.I love you" Tricia begged, reaching out to you, forcing you to look at her with her pleading eyes. "Damn that deeply brown eyes of you doc. Be strong Y/N," you thought

"I can't anymore, Tricia. Please understand. 10 months ako nagbebeg sa time mo, lahat na ginawa ko para suyuin ka and I did my best para ibalik yung dati tayo. But you never reciprocated or met me halfway. I'm tired na din. I'm sorry. You walked away from us, from me, months ago but I held on, hoping that you'll be back to the old Tricia I fell inlove with", you held her gaze. Tricia just whimpered when she heard you so you continued talking. "Akala ko pwede ko pa maayos. Lord, to late na po ba?" Tricia despaired. "It's kinda ironic." you chuckled. "I don't even know the real reason you suddenly acted cold to me. I did hear one thing in the hospital, gossip vine ninyo, when I was going to surprise you pero I waited for you to come clean pero wala eh so inisip ko hindi yun totoo. But as weeks turn to months, you lost time for me when we both know we always find a compromise with our busy schedule and you flinched every time I try to hug or touch you. It honestly felt like I am forcing you to be with me." you weakly muttered.