Lacuna

7

You carefully folded the letter and took the photo of you and Y/n on the table. For a long time, you kept on staring at the photo. Unsure how to handle the onslaught of your emotions, not until you felt your tears and the dam broke through.

The letter, the words were filled with such pain, such heartbreak, yet there was forgiveness, the same softness you always love from Y/N. Your dark brown eyes scanned the letter again and again, trying to memorize the words, the feeling that Y/N was trying to convey. You feel that your heart was beating wildly, tears are welling up again, threatening to spill.

"Daragang Magayon"

There was a possibility of hope yet you do not dare to hope anymore.

You wanted to scream. You wanted to scream at Y/N but mostly you wanted to scream at yourself for how stupid you were for letting her slip away. You desperately tried to conceal your cries, hoping that your sisters were deep in their slumber. You hugged yourself in fetal position wishing for Y/N to burst out of the door looking for you. "Love".  You remember how happy and content you were with Y/N, that she was your only safe haven even when you were kids, when you lost your papa so suddenly, she was the only one who made you feel alive. She was the reason why you never drowned from your own emotions. Oh how your heart longs to be with her again. "I will always love you Cia". 

You then felt arms wrapping you and you felt grateful that ate Aika and Jill were there for you. One arm gently stroking your back, while another is wiping the tears away.

"Ang tanga ko. Napakatanga ko" you wailed in their arms, trying to catch your breath in between sobs.

Ate Aika whispered soothing words while Jill continued to rub your back. It took another hour for you to finally calmed down.

"Okay, you fucked up Patty" ate Aika said, in a matter-of-fact tone.

You gave them a hallowed laugh, tears still falling down your face. Jill moved closer to you in order for you to lean against her.

"Then fight for her ate" Jill quipped "If you love her, what's stopping you to fight for her when you know that she's the one for you?"

"I'm afraid Y/N will reject me again" you mumbled against her shoulder.

"Take the leap, Patty. Regret is the worst thing in life. At least you took the chance to fight for her, for you, for the both of you. Malay mo naman, hinihintay lang ni Y/N na ikaw naman lumaban for the both of you" ate Aika adviced.

"Papayag ba si Y/N makipagmeet sa akin kapag nasa Manila na siya ulit?" you asked quietly.

"We can't be sure Patty. We want you to fight for her and for yourself but we also want you to respect and give her time" a contemplative look on Ate Aika's face and you sighed in frustration.

"Maybe try to ask for mama's advice ate Pat" Jill added. "I think ate Y/N knows and understood naman na you both didn't mean to hurt each other. You know her best and mama's advice is something that will guide you to make the final choice" her explanation makes sense. Right now, you need your mother's love, understanding and wisdom. Silence followed after a few moments.

You nodded in understanding and Jill tightened her hold on you while ate Aika hugged the both of you. No one talked, you simply comforted yourself with their silence. Thankful that they knew that you do not want to talk any further.

After a while, you asked your sisters if they could sleep beside you, which they readily agreed. The three of you lied down in your comfortable position, Jill was hugging you while ate Aika kept on stroking your hair until you fell asleep.

"Thank you ate Aika. Thank you Jill" you smiled weakly at them.

"I love you in this lifetime and the next"

"I'll fight for us Y/N. Please wait for me" as you drift to a fitful slumber.

Once ate Aika made sure that Tricia was fast asleep. She leaned her forehead against the bed headboard, shedding a few tears as she continued to stroke Patty's hair. She was sad about what happened between Tricia and Y/N relationship, and distraught that there was a possibility that both people important to her would be broken for a long time.

A sad expression was on Jill's face as she observed both her ate. She hated to see any of her sisters crying or suffering. "I wish papa was still here," she sadly thought. She reached out to her ate Aika and brushed away her tears. "Ate Aika, everything will be okay. She whispered, "They will be okay. Ate Aika just nodded. "Let's try to sleep na din Jill" ate Aika gently smiling at Jill before closing her eyes.

"Goodnight mga ate. Love you," Jill murmured while she continued to observe her two sisters. She let go of her ate Patty and reached for her phone and looked for their mother's contact. "Hi po mama. Once you finish your tasks, could you please set aside some time for us? If possible lang po mama hehehe Kahit a day or two. We badly need you right now, especially Ate Patty. Also, mama needs to rest. Miss ka na namin nina ate, please. Love you, mama."

Satisfied with the message, Jill sent it to their mama and finally let sleep takeover.