My Girlfriend's Ex (StudxStud)

16

Liberty

I walked through the town square, my head down, my curls stuffed into a black hoodie. I moved around couples, families, lone teenagers with the same forlorn look that's on my face. An occasional familiar person here and there, but otherwise I'm a fish in a sea of oblivious organisms.

I dip into a store, and take in a deep breath of the stale air freshener and the scent of despair. I don't waste any time moving towards the the traveling/clearance section of Marty's Clothes-A-Ranza. I slip mini bottles of hand sanitizer and shampoo into my pockets, then lotion and small razors.

These things don't mean anything to me. It's just the feeling. It's just...me in control. Me knowing something the rest of the store doesn't.

Me getting away with it.

I left the store as quickly as I came, the familiarity of my actions sobering me down. It felt good in the moment but what am I doing? Months ago, I had been on and off stealing until my first program meeting. I was supposed to be stopping this type of behavior, not leaning on it whenever I got stressed. I can't keep doing this. I can't.

I found a bench between another clothing store and a small food spot. I slumped down on it, sharing it with a homeless woman with a scratching problem. I took off my hoodie, pulling at little strands of my hair as I fought to think of something better than this. Anything better.

"Smokin'," I huffed, shaking my head. It's sad that my fucking mental state has come to this, but I went with what I was used to. It just sucks that I only seem to be familiar with bad habits.

My phone buzzed in my pocket as I left the bench, pulling the hoodie back over my head. Smoking is just another addiction. I can't just replace one issue, with an easier one...that'll eventually be as hard as the first issue. I can't fight stealing with weed. I ignored my phone. I need to start putting my mind first. What I need first. I need to think with my brain, not my heart.

"One more store."

I walked the streets of Lower Aster Waters, a hotspot for the seedy activities in town or anything that wasn't legal. Not too long ago, my friends and I would group up or split off to see who could bag the most stuff. Now everybody's mostly done with that. They never understood taking from other people the way that I did.

That's it.

It's the way that I'm stealing that keeps me running back. But it also isn't fulfilling me. I need more of a challenge. Something that could reach any level of difficulty at any given moment.

I need to steal from a person.

I stopped in front of Shoes N Shii, a new age shoe store that was a growing competitor to the town's boutiques. I pulled my hoodie down a little bit further and walked inside. Tweens to teens covered every surface, even this late at night. Tired fathers, stressed mothers, and annoyed younger siblings added to the mix.

It was easy for me to get lost in the flow of the store. I felt like I was floating, like something was pulling me towards the back. The most expensive shoes laid on spinning platforms with their own mini poles that led to nowhere but a corny slogan display.

"Can I help you find anything?"

I hate that. When the workers pop up on me. I turned towards the girl, about a few years younger than me and sneered, "Does it look like I need help? My stupid sister sent me out here to get her shoes for her dance. I know what she wants."

"Oh, uh, sorry," the girl faltered. She spun around quickly and went away from me. I eyed the store a little bit before I made my move. As tempting as the shoes are, I'm not here to take from the store. I was almost invisible against the wall as my hand slipped into the back pocket of someone's too-low low rise jeans. The woman's ass was poked out as she sat on the plush bench, trying on boots. I pulled out a credit card and a gift card to some mainstream fashion store. I slipped that into my pocket with my other goodies and fought the pleasure that cropped up in my body.

My first person.

I looked around for my next victim and spotted a little girl with a large, new iPad. Liberty, you're way out of your league, I told myself, but I found my body drifting towards her. This is it: either I get caught or I make a big win.

"Hey, do you know if there are any restrooms here?" a random woman grabbed my arm. I flipped around, ready to knock her out. "Sorry. You scared me," I said, noticing her expression of shock.

"Do you know where the restrooms are in here?"

"Sorry...no. I'm not a worker," I told her bluntly.

I turned away from her and found that the girl with the iPad was gone. My spirits fell, but I decided that it was time to go home anyways. I checked my phone as I left the store, just lucky that I had gotten something out the new trick I tried out.

A random notification from YouTube, I realized. I stuffed my hands into my pockets as I decided to take a different route home. Past the stores, towards the restaurants and more eateries. I rubbed my thumb along the plastic casing of the sanitizer. It was comfortably knowing that I could get what I want.

The consequences was the only roadblock.

I looked in the window of each restaurant. Angry couples, happy couples, big families, small families. It felt like life was just going to pass me right up and I'd never reach that level of perfect chaos. That I'll forever be teenager Liberty...not knowing who I am.

Or what I want, as Beatrix felt inclined to say.

I was passing by the vegan cafe when I spotted a familiar face. I stopped walking and accidentally ran into a woman and her dog. "Sorry," I held up my hand in apology, my eyes glued to the window simultaneously.

A'livia and Beatrix.

A'livia laughed at something Beatrix said, and my best friend gave my other best friend the widest grin ever. Their plates were half empty and they were engrossed in a good conversation.

I walked closer to the window, my hands on the cool glass. I stared inside at them, not caring about the table right next to the window that I was disturbing, or the people passing by giving me weird looks on the street. I sniffled, not realizing that I was crying until I felt the tears.

I pulled away from the glass, seeing a worker with her eye on me. At this rate, I'd never be able to go back to that cafe with a confident face.

I turned away and jogged. Then I ran. I weaved around people, held in my sobs, wished that I didn't decide to go a different way today. Why, bruh, did I have to see that? Why do I have to face that?

"Why," I wiped at my face, coming out of the downtown area and facing my neighborhood.

My mother was probably wondering where I was. Calling Vonna or Beatrix, even A'livia, to see where I was. But it's fine. No one knows where I am. I sunk to the curb, burying my face in my lap.

In a sudden strike of rage, I yanked everything I had stolen out of my pockets and dumped it on the ground. I stared at the bottles and the paper and the cards scattered across the grass, hiccuping as I deserted the mess and went home.