𝑴𝒀 𝑭𝑰𝑹𝑬𝑭𝑳𝒀 | 𝑵.𝑹 𝒙 𝑫𝑨𝑼𝑮𝑯𝑻𝑬𝑹

* ˚ ✦ 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐠𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐟

* ˚ ✦ going through the five stages of grief

scott street - phoebe bridgers
1:07 ─〇───── 5:05
⇄ ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ ↻

warning nat's death, talk of depression, negative and suicidal thoughts
age 15

!ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. THIS IS MY OWN STORY!

⸺ ⧗ ⸺

DENIAL.
Refusal to admit the truth or reality of something.

They all came back, smiling at each other. It worked. There was an initial celebration from the other Avengers, which was interrupted when Hawkeye fell to his knees. The others saw him alone.

You saw him alone.

You asked about Nat's whereabouts, but he was too upset to respond, but you were able to understand what had happened.

"No, Clint where is she?" You asked and got on the platform, walking to the middle of it. One minute ago, she was there, standing in front of you, placing one last kiss on your forehead, hugging you one last time. You talked about your plans for the evening, maybe getting pizza or going to the cinema and when it was time to leave she promised she'd 'see you in a minute', and now he was telling you she was dead?! No.

"Y/N-"

"Clint, I swear to God this better not be some kind of sick joke." Clint only shook his head. Steve looked down, so did everybody else. You still stood in the middle of the platform and watched them as they all began to accept her death.

But you couldn't.

Not when she was standing in front of you just a few minutes earlier.

Not when she promised you she'd come back.

"No. Please. She's not-She can't. Please tell me you're joking. I won't be mad just please... Tell me you're joking." You fell to the floor and cried. You brought your hand to your chest, it was getting really hard to breathe. You couldn't process what was happening. And the Avengers let you. They tried to comfort you, but you would shove them away every time they tried to come close to you.

The remaining original Avengers gathered outside and let the news of their friend's death sink in. However, Thor believed that Romanoff could too be brought back along with everyone else. Yet Barton made it clear to him that there was no way to undo what had happened.

"Do we know if she had family?" Tony asked.

"Yeah. Us."

Bullshit. Tell them, come on, say something God dammit. You thought. You knew he knew about Yelena, and Melina a well as Alexei.

You just scoffed and walked away. Your reality shifted completely at this moment of loss. You started reflecting on the experiences you shared with Natasha, and you found yourself wondering how to move forward in life without her.

Being in denial helped you survive the shock of the loss. You began to think life made no sense, had no meaning, and was too overwhelming. You as continued to deny Natasha's death, you started to go numb. You wondered daily how life will go on – because life as you once knew it, had changed in an instant.

You were not living in 'actual reality,' rather, you were living in a 'preferable' reality. But once the denial and shock started to fade, the start of the healing process began. At this point, those feelings that you were once suppressing are coming to the surface.