𝑴𝒀 𝑭𝑰𝑹𝑬𝑭𝑳𝒀 | 𝑵.𝑹 𝒙 𝑫𝑨𝑼𝑮𝑯𝑻𝑬𝑹

* ˚ ✦ 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐦𝐚

* ˚ ✦ yn writes a letter to nat 3 years after her death

the wisp sings - winter aid
0:44 ─〇───── 5:13
⇄ ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ ↻

warning sad, nat's death
age 18

!ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. THIS IS MY OWN STORY!

⸺ ⧗ ⸺

Dear mama,

People tell me it's stupid, but I believe you can read this.

It's been three years since this fatal day, three years since my life fell apart completely.

It feels like yesterday and forever ago at the same time. I just can't seem to accept that you're gone. Even if it's been years since I last saw your face, heard your voice or felt your body against mine. It's been three years since our last hug, and the last time I heard one of your lame jokes... I never thought I'd miss those.

My walks along the beach aren't the same, coming home to an empty apartment doesn't make me feel excited any more (I love you, but I always loved it when I had our home to myself...).

I've always known our time on earth was limited, but somehow I've always believed that you'd be there forever. Forever and ever but the universe took you away from me way too soon.

We were robbed. Robbed of so many memories and moments together.

Yes, I have Uncle Clint, Auntie Yel and Auntie Wanda even if it's pretty complicated right now. But it's just not the same.

Why you?

Out of everyone else, why my favourite person? God, I sound so selfish but- I can't stop myself from thinking this. I know it's wrong to think that, but you're fucking dead! And that feels just as wrong.

It wasn't supposed to be this way. You were supposed to be here right now.

I graduated from high school, and you were not there. When I opened my results, I was all alone.

Prom? You weren't there.

When I was crying myself to sleep every night for weeks during my finals? You weren't there to comfort me and tell me everything was going to be okay.

My first day of university... You were so excited to see the woman I was gonna become, and now you'll never get to see.

In a way, I'll always stay your little princess, your angel but at what cost?

Today I should be happy, it's my graduation ceremony tonight. But I cried when I realized. People asked me 'what's wrong? why are you crying? you should be happy!' but they don't get it. I'm tired of people feeling sorry.

I know you would've been proud of me, for coming this far.

Remember when I was always in tears right before starting high school? I was so scared and felt so alone. And you just said "it's gonna be great, and if anyone is mean to you, I'll kick their butt.". But guess what? I made some friends, and they're the greatest. They bring me joy, every day, and they have this ability of making me laugh and smile all the time... I think you would have loved them. Maybe, I'll tell you more about them someday. But not now.

I went through my three years of high school and I did it. I fucking did it! And I didn't need you to kick anyone's butt. I know you would have found a way to do it from above if that were the case anyway!

You died today, three years ago. And tonight is my graduation ceremony. I wish it wasn't the case, but it is. And I wished you were here, and you're not. Well, physically. You're here in my heart though I know it.

It's just not fair, and I know that you'd still want me to be excited. It doesn't feel right to be excited, I want to, believe me, I'm just not any more. Someone said to me :

"unfortunately you not being excited isn't going to change anything, it's only going to make today harder for you"

And they were right. I'm trying, I promise I am!

I miss you mommy, and I wish you could be here with me.

Today marks 3 years of living without you.

I miss you more than anything, and even more and more every day if that's possible.

I wish you could come back to me.

Until next time,
Much love
Y/N.

AUTHOR'S NOTE
little vent fic that doesn't make any sense
oh and wise words from my romanoffxwanda