Venting About Books and Stuff

recap lol

This is just going to be a possibly long recap of the past week, which means... dates! wOW, I'm making things easier for future readers!

Anyway, time to be overdramatic:

(I lied this is a recap of two weekdays and my weekend only)

5.25.22

So, this writing program thing came to my school, and we basically had a poetry unit, and this might read into where I live, but there were 4,000 students in that program thing. 45 were chosen to do this end of year reading thing where they read their poems to, uh, people. I should mention this was across all grades.

I was one of these people, which is like, super exciting and also confusing. aNyWaY, the reading was Wednesday, the 25th of May, at my city's town hall. (Really ugly town hall btw, Jellinax back me up here)

Naturally, these are the key moments of that night:

- I kidnapped my best friend /j

- Me and said best friend saw an elevator to hell

- I nearly cried on stage because I got something in my eye

- There were cupcakes

sdfshl I'm not good at this

Instead, I'll share a wonderful technique of calming your nerves! They had everyone's poems on display, so I did my inner monologue thing and basically criticized everyone else's poems. It totally works for self-confidence! Definitely.

Also, this girl I have orchestra with was also reading her poem, and I didn't recognize her name in the program/I didn't say hi. Haha, social anxiety go brr

Honestly, I don't want to talk about the actual poem reading part. Let me tell you about the elevator to hell!

When we first parked in this parking lot, we couldn't find the elevator so we climbed these god-awful stairs. Then, when we came back, we found the elevators. We didn't go in them because we couldn't find the elevator before and that's suspicious, and that elevator is totally a path to Satan in my book.

There was this door that someone had wrote death wish on, which I wrote a poem about in my poem book, and naturally we... okay so I can't remember if we went through it or not

The entire point here is that I (and 44 others) was selected out of 4,000 students to read my poem and that I spent that time with- yanno I would @ them- but mention user is broken- a person-

And now, moving on

5.26.22

(Yes, a day after.)

I had my last orchestra concert of the year, and it was at this school near my dad's old apartment. It was long and I royally screwed up so many times.

But that, my friends, is not the point.

Two things to talk about here:

My performance anxiety was already on high this week, and I knew my parents would be watching and shit but, uh, I kinda maybe used the concert as an excuse for not doing this thing in Spanish class? And then my Spanish teacher said he was going to come to the concert? And then he fucking did?

 skglsgks I have never felt more watched in my entire life

The other thing is that my school has separate orchestras, and we all played this one song together (I also royally screwed up here).

We were almost done when the fire alarm went off, but I don't have good reaction time so I kind of just continued playing. See, I thought the annoying bright lights were people taking pictures. And then everyone stopped, and I stopped, and then I panicked after a five minute delay.

Plus, I value my items over my safety so instead of booting out of there with just my violin, my mom grabbed my phone and shit from the cafeteria (which we were using as a green room).

Turns out there was no real fire, so it was fine anyways.

I ALSO FELT NO REAL FUCKING FEAR LIKE GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT (also wrote a poem about this)

And then the weekend happened, and I basically got to be spoiled like the little brat I am. My mom took me to Target, I got some clothes for pride, pins, etc.

We went to Goodwill and I tried to find an '80s dress (no explanation provided), I got crepes, binged Stranger Thing season 4 (love it, I got some great inspiration), ate too much sugar, and overall forgot about the stressful things of the week.

that is... pretty much it.

Oh, I was folding laundry earlier and accidently punched myself in the throat

bye! don't die in a fire! enjoy your next 24 hours!