THE DARE | BWWM 18+ (editing)

xlix - becoming queen mafia

J O S H

_____________________

I know this bitch didn't try to pull a Hannah Baker.

I was hanging out with my friend Logan when I got the call from Xavier and I immediately ran out of the door. He was talking about how his mom found out his dad cheated and granted, the tea was sweet, but Iris is way more important than his family dilemma.

Xavier found out from Luciano who supposedly found Iris unconscious on the floor. This now actually has me mad, because the last time I spoke to Xavier, he didn't even tell me that she was doing so bad.

I talk to Iris every day but she's way too good at hiding her feelings. When she told me that she was once suicidal before, I told her to come to me if she ever felt that way again. But in typical Iris fashion, she didn't because she refuses to ask for help.

"Girl, what the fuck?" I ask Iris who's sitting on her bed with an IV stuck in her arm. I ran into Dr. Brown on my way here so I'm guessing that someone called her. "What the fuck? What the fuck? What in the absolute fuck?"

"Hey Joshy," she tries to fake it.

"Don't hey Joshy me. I know what you did," I scold her. I sit on the bed and hug her first and foremost before I give her a well-deserved lecture.

"How are you feeling?" I ask as I rub her back.

"A little in pain but I'm fine I guess," she says and I pull away from the hug.

"Good because what in the literal fuck were you thinking Iris?" I ask and she sighs. "First of all, why didn't you come to me? Why didn't you tell anyone that you were feeling this way?" I start to rant.

"Because you know I have a hard time opening up and telling people when I need help. Leo-" I cut her off. Here we go.

"Seriously Iris? Leo isn't the only person who loves and adores you. We do too. And we don't want to lose you," I start to reason with her. "I understand that he gave you the world, and you guys couldn't be more in love. I understand that you're in pain. I understand that you miss him and that you miss the sex, but damn girl, we don't want to have to miss you too."

"I know, but I just miss him. No one is going to understand how I feel so you don't have the right to tell me what I can and can't do," she starts to get hostile.

"When it comes to you trying to take your life, then the people who care about you and love you, including myself, have a say."

"I don't care. I don't care. I don't give a fuck. It's my fault he's dead anyway, and the fact that you just brought sex as a reason for me acting like is upsetting me," she lets out and rolls her eyes at me.

"Okay love. I'm sorry but I didn't mean it that way," I say and she starts to smile. "But I am your best friend so I know you. I know you miss the dates, the romance, his protection, and his presence. But you don't dare sit here and act like you don't miss his dick too because you talk about it all the time boo," I say and she starts to laugh.

"I can neither confirm nor deny these accusations," she raises her eyebrows and looks everywhere in the room except at me.

"Yeah, yeah. But seriously, why did you try to hurt yourself like that?" I ask and her face turns sad.

"Because I feel like I deserve it. Leo would still be alive if he didn't have to come to save me," she reveals and my heart breaks for her.

"I don't know if the IV is going straight to your brain, but what? That makes no sense because you're not the one who pulled the trigger Iris," I say and she nods.