✧*̥˚ Trust Issues *̥˚✧
We lay under my covers. Lana Del Ray still playing. Right now Is This Happiness? filled the silent room. Josh and I cuddle together. I play with his hair while he traces my body with his finger. "You're so beautiful, you know." "We already fucked Josh. You can stop buttering me up now." "I'm being serious right now, Lia." "Lia?" "I heard Bryce call you that and liked it." "I figured since he and my mom are the only people who call me that." "Oh, sorry. Is it weird?" "No, no, it's perfect. I like it better than Jules, at least." He chuckles, "Well, as much as I'd love to stay here with you, I have plans with the boys." He stands up. "Ok. Take me to the airport on Monday?" He leans against the door frame. "For sure. Call me if you need anything, k?" "K." I toss him his shirt and he catches it. "Bye, Lia." "Bye, Richards." As soon as I heard the door close, I facetime Mads. "You fucking bitch! Since when did you become a snitch?" "I just want what's best for you, Juju. I thought that would be good for you. Was I wrong?" "I dunno." "What do you mean you don't know?" "I mean, we definitely made up, but I don't know if anything is actually fixed." "Elaborate, please." "Ok, well, he apologized, explained what happened with Nessa, confessed his feelings for me, then we had sex, and I still don't know if I trust him." "Back the fuck up. Did you just say you had sex with Josh?" She looked repulsed. "Fuck, I didn't think you'd notice." "Of course, I noticed. You can't just throw that in there and expect me not to notice that you had makeup sex with Josh. Ewww." I laugh at her reaction. "Well, I'm glad my instigating paid off, although it worked a little too well." "Can we get serious for a moment, please? Cause I'm kinda freaking out right now." "Why?" "It's just a lot, Mads. Like, this is the same boy who had me starving myself 2 days ago, and as soon as he apologized, I gave it up to him just like that. What does that say about me as a person?" "That you're vulnerable. Just like everyone else. It's ok to let people in, Julia. They're not always gonna hurt you." "That's the thing, though. I just know he is. I mean, he already has before. What's gonna stop him from doing it again? I know it's not trust issues because I let you and so many other people into my life with no problem, but with him, I just have this gut feeling he's gonna fuck me over and I don't think I'll be able to deal with it." "Because of Nessa?" "Yeah. Every time he touches me, I can't help but think if he's thinking about her. If he wishes I was her. If he'd rather be with her. I wish I was her." "Trust me, you don't. Nessa doesn't even wanna be Nessa. You wish he would want you the way he wants her. You want him to love you." "Yeah, I just wanna be enough." "Yeah, I know the feeling."
୨⎯ Author's Note ⎯୧
I'm gonna be 100% honest with you guys right now. I originally planned to put out a new book once this book reached 25 chapters, but I hate all the other books I've written and I'm struggling to come up with new plots. I don't want to make too many books on the same 2 guys, but every book I try to write about someone other than Jaden or Josh just isn't good and I'm not sure what to do. If you have any concept ideas that you'd like to see and are willing to let me use I'd love to hear them. Sorry about this rant. Also, please let me know if there are any grammatical mistakes in the chapter. Thank you!
