pink nights / sally face

side effects

as excited as i was for the festivities to start, the middle of the semester was approaching. which meant i would soon have to turn in a first draft of my research paper. the past few homework sessions with ash weren't as fun. everyday i would chip away at the work, which did make me feel better, but it wasn't easy. i prayed it wasn't obvious that i was in over my head. at this point, the only thing that eased my nerves was the thought of sal's help. i knew i could trust him to give me good feedback. i just hoped he didn't say, "you need to start over."

today was thursday, our designated work day. after skipping the library last time, we planned to meet at his place again. we decided it was more comfortable and way more fun since we could hang out after we worked. truthfully, i looked forward to it all day, maybe even all week. sal was the only person who could actually calm me completely.

i read over my paper one last time, i didn't want to embarrass myself by making sal read garbage. finally i decided it was finished, all that was left was revision. i sighed in relief. hopefully the work would be light tonight so that sal and i could chill. of course i love hanging out with the group, but there's an unspoken calmness that we have together. and after the movie night last weekend, i was starting to get butterflies for him again. only this time, i knew it wasn't all in my head.

the more time i spent with him, the more i liked him. not only was he extremely smart and helpful but he was just kind. the way he helped me wasn't overbearing or condescending. he genuinely wanted to see me succeed. and even though he was ahead of me, he worked with me like i was his partner, like we were equal. and i saw him do this with larry and ash too. anytime there was a compromise to be made, sal was always more than willing to sacrifice himself for others. and having gone through as much as he has, it would be totally justified for sal to be selfish and guarded. but he wasn't, he was gentle and open. something about him made me melt.

i flopped down on my bed and sent him a message.

me: hey, still meeting at 8?

sal: yes! :)

me: ok cool :)

i rolled over and clutched a pillow to my body. i can't let myself get in my head again, i don't want to fuck this up. but i couldn't help myself wondering if sal felt the same way about me as i felt about him as i remembered larry speculating sal's feelings for ash. i clutched the pillow tighter and sighed. above all else, sal was my friend.

i rolled out of bed, sal would be here in about 30 minutes. that gave me enough time to fix my hair and makeup. i looked down at my outfit and decided i probably need to change too. i swapped my skirt for pj shorts and my crop top for an oversized band t-shirt. i brushed through my hair and clipped my fringe back. i already had makeup on from when i got ready for class so i just powdered my face and curled my lashes again.

i sat at my desk and tapped my foot. i felt restless waiting for sal. i took his hoodie from the back of the chair and held it to my face. it felt so long ago that he had given it to me. i breathed in, it no longer smelled of him. i slide my arms in and loosely wore it backwards. i wondered how long sal had this jacket and how much he liked it. i thought it was funny that i had it now. something he would reach for carelessly, now in my possession. it used to hang in his closet, always at his disposal. and he gave it up, insisting i keep it. i wished so bad it still had his minty lavender scent.

sal: hey, you all ready to go?

"ah!" i jumped at the text notification and threw sal's hoodie back onto my chair. i grabbed my laptop and bag and texted back.