pink nights / sally face

halloween party (final)

"should we, uh, do you ... wanna leave with me?" sal muttered underneath his breath. his face wasn't even an inch from mine but i couldn't bring myself to look at him. even though i wouldn't even be able to see him, i felt like i was invading his privacy. my heart pounded and i couldn't think. none of this felt real but in the best way possible.

i kept my eyes locked on his lips, "what about ash and larry?"

"they can get a separate uber, i can text larry ..." he trailed off loosening his grip on my waist, "i ... don't wanna force you, i'm sorry."

i kept my voice hushed, "sal ... i want to come with you."

he sighed lightly, biting his lower lip. for the first time, i saw some real expression from sal. and his teeth. he reached to the counter behind me for his mask before strapping it on. "c'mon."

we made our way back down to the living room, still crowded and loud. the slinky smell had traveled from the basement though, half the crowd seemed calmer. which made for a slightly easier exit. i followed behind sal as we cut through small gaps between bodies. as we snaked through the living room, i watched sal catch a glimpse of larry. they exchanged wave and nod. larry and ash were still glued to each other, swaying to music. i felt less guilty for leaving now.

once we made it outside, we took refuge under a tree in the front lawn. i looked back at the decorated house and tried my best to soak up every detail, trying so hard to permanently burn the exact image into my memory.

"uber's gonna be here in 10," sal brought his knees to his chest and sighed, "y/n, i- i'm not usually forward."

i looked back at him, wishing i could watch the expression on his face to fully gauge his tone. all i could muster was, "me either."

he stretched his legs out again and fiddled with the grass, we sat and listened to music mixed voices of party goers until our uber arrived. ten minutes felt like an entirety with the still-fresh excitement of kissing sal pumping through me.

when the uber arrived, sal opened my door for me and let me get in first. the inside of the car was warm and the driver played soft music i didn't recognize. when sal got in, reality hit me again. it still didn't feel real. the smell of a strangers car and the intimate company of sal felt close to a dream. somewhere i'd never been before and almost didn't belong. 

i replayed the kiss over and over. sal was everything i needed. he was gentle and sweet and caring and everything he did was intentional. the way he touched me was so selfless. he touched me so that i could be touched, not so he could touch me. the way he asked to kiss me, it was a shared moment. both of us invited to open up and meet in a vulnerable position. there was no power dynamic, there was no conquering.

i looked over to sal, his hands were clenched and his body looked tense. his hair was tussled from putting his mask back on so quickly but he was still in his suit, he looked good.

when we arrived back at sal's place, it felt almost as if we were moving in slow motion. with his front door in sight, every step felt a little harder. i had never been with someone alone in this context. i followed behind sal, watching his fingers shuffle through keys before unlocking the door.  my heart pounded as we entered his dark apartment.

"sorry, let me turn on some lights." sal shuffled around in the dark and clicked on a colored lamp, allowing a dim vision of the living room. sal cleared his throat, "you wanna follow me?"

i nodded and trailed behind him down the hallway into his room.