SupernaturalxReader oneshots

Im backkkkk wit some angst

Every time I looked into his eyes all I can see his regret.
I don't dare to question it.
Because if I ask I'm scared for the answer
Would he ever regret being with me?
Would he regret ever time he said he loved me?
Or how about every single time he has ever called me beautiful?
Maybe choosing to start a life with me?
Probably, I wouldn't even doubt it. He could've had anyone. But yet, he settled for me. What did he even see?

Women left and right stared at him. And he encouraged it. Even when they were begging him to do them he would egg them on. While I stand in the background, like an empty shadow.

He wouldn't even touch me anymore. He was disgusted at me. Thinking the worse of me, mapping out any flaw that's marked my body. Criticizing everything I wore, saying how my body doesn't fill it in or how my body type isn't flattering. And he would just walk out. Like nothing hadn't even happened. While I stay in the room hating everything about my body that he said he loved once.

He was the one that called me beautiful. The most gorgeous thing he ever saw. How all men should be jealous of him because he bagged me. He would wipe away the tears. Kiss the scars that marked my body, and even leave his mark on my skin so I can remember his love for me. But now his marks have faded. His kisses no where to be found while I gave myself scars hoping he would kiss them away. Hold me in his arms while talking about our future that would never happen. His eyes now filled with hatred.

Why? What have I done? Why can't he love me? Why can't he just whisper his love for me in my ear even though it's lies? Why am I still with him?

Oh that's right. No one would even want me. I'm just so disgusting. I look beautiful in absolutely nothing. I had to black out the mirrors because I couldn't even stand the sight of myself. Having to use makeup to make myself look almost decent. I can't even go out in public. That's how hideous I feel. And he is right. He is always right.

I am nothing. All I have is him. Nothing else. Even if I did, would've already be gone. Just like his love.

Slowly I feel myself growing weaker, growing sicker. But I don't care. It's about damn time. I don't care if I'm too young too die, I just don't wanna feel like this anymore. Feeling unloved even though I could've done something about it.

But the others had noticed. Asking me if I was okay. If I need to go to the clinic or if I need anything. I just wanted to scream at them and demanded if I did anything wrong to be undeserving of his love. That's all I wanted. All I needed was his love.

Soon he noticed to. He noticed my body was weak. That I couldn't even be awake for more than a few hours. That even doing anything active for a few minutes would tire me out. He soon noticed my eating habits had changed. I've noticeably lost weight. My face looked sunken in, and my skin was dull.

And then he noticed that something had broken inside of me. He looked at me, but is his were filled with something. It wasn't filled with disgust or hate. No it was something else, but I didn't know what. He walked close to my weak figure and laid behind me. He dragged me into his arms, placed his head on-top of mine. His breathing started to stutter and I felt his tears fall into my hair.

He held me closer like he was scared of something. But scared of what? I thought he wanted this.

Soon he started to sob. His body was shaking into mine. I didn't know what to do. It's been too long since he had held me like this. Like he didn't want to let me go. Like he actually loved me.

Silently I held his hands into my own. His hands were so warm compared to my cold ones. Hell, his whole body felt warm compared to mine. His calloused hands fit so perfectly in my hands though. Likes puzzle pieces. I then started thinking of stupid thoughts. His hands always fit perfectly to my body. And my body perfectly to his. He would always say that we were meant for each other. How he was so lucky he had met me. How he was so fortunate to even marry me. Then start a family with the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on. But that was long ago. Now, I don't know what we are.

I felt his hand land on my hips helping me to flip me over and face him. His beautiful face filled with regret. But also with a look I haven't seen in a long time. His hands landed on my face, wiping away the tears I didn't know was falling down my face. God he must think I'm pathetic. Crying because my husband is holding me in his arms. Wiping away the tears that I hoped every night he would kiss away.

Suddenly his lips found mine. Gently kissing me like I was so fragile. Stroking my body like I was some porcelain doll. Ready to break at any moment. Maybe I was. I always am for him. Ready to change myself in ways he saw fit.

His gorgeous eyes met mine. Tears were still trying to pour out but he was trying not to let them go. He whispered my name. God it's been so long since he said my name like that. Like my name actually had meant something to his life. And maybe too my life as well.

He took my arms and rolled up the sleeves. Then his tears started falling down his handsome face. Kissing every scar that was there and promising himself he would never do this to me again. How he would be a better husband and give me every star that was in the sky to make me feel better.

But would it? Would anything change? Will he still love me?

I felt his lips kiss my neck. So gently that he's scared if he goes too far he'll hurt me. He grabs my chin so I can look in his eyes. He asks me if I still love him. Nodding my head, he gives me a small smile.

Getting up from the bed I'm scared he'll leave. He started walking into the bathroom and closed the door. I started hearing water run. But nothing else. Curling into myself I started to wonder what I did wrong. But also thanking whatever god that had heard my pleas to let me feel a little loved.

Opening the door he came walking out. He knelt beside the bed and gently picked me up bridal style. He knew I was weak and that I could barely walk.

Once we were in front of the mirror that I had despised. He ripped off the newspaper that I had taped on long ago. Slowly he dropped me to my feet and began undressing me. He kissed every flaw I had once loved about me. He told me they made me even more perfect.

After he was done, he picked me up and gently laid me down in the warm water. Pouring water over my head to get my hair wet he began washing it. He used to do this whenever I felt low. This is how he showed that he loved me.

"Baby, I don't know what happened to us. To me. But I'll never do this to you again. Never. You are so special to me. You're my reason to live. And without you, I have nothing. I am nothing."

He soon started to cry again. I reached out to him. Almost scared that he's going to reject me. But he leans into my arms and let's me hold him.

"Please sweetheart, you have to get better. I- I can't do this alone without you. I can't live without you. I need you. God I'll give you anything that you ask, do anything you ask. Just please, please get better for me."
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So guess whose back you whores! I lost the password to this acc and couldn't log back in. Anyways I'm going to leave this story's ending so you can think of an ending because I don't know what to do. Oh and I left it so it can be any of the boys. Have fun