SupernaturalxReader oneshots

Incorrect Quotes 4

I'm supposed to be doing my homework but this is more fun

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Dean: Crowley died of natural causes

Y/N: No he didn't you pushed him on the street

Dean: Gravity is nature

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Jack: What is your biggest fear?

Dean: That I'll wake up as a chocolate bar

Y/N: You would eat yourself, wouldn't you?

Sam, whispering in a horrified look: I wouldn't even question it

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Sam: I have the sharpest memory out of all of us.

Gabriel: Oh yeah? Three weeks ago you left me in a Walmart parking lot

Sam: I did that on purpose

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Castiel: The moon controls the tides and the humans pysche. Wolves know that, that's why they howl at her. It's a tribute.

Therapist: Okay, let's talk about your father

Castiel: No

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Castiel: I hope you both of an explanation

Dean: Oh we have lots of explanations 

Y/N: Pick your favorites

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Dean: What will happen if I eat a whole gallon of ice cream 

Sam: Well you're lactose intolerant so you'll probably die

Dean: 

Dean: *gets up*

Sam: Dean NO-

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Dean: I just ate a whole bottle of glitter so I can be beautiful both on the inside and out

Y/N: Dean get in the fucking car. We're going to the hospital

Dean: Good idea because my stomach is starting to hurt

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Sam: * wakes up in the middle of the night with Jack and inch away from his face*

Jack: Hey Sam- quit screaming it's just us- we had this idea

Sam: Wha- wait us?

Y/N:*appearing out of nowhere*

Y/N: So we had this idea

Sam: Christ there's two of you

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Sam: This brings back memories. I loved playing doctor 

{flashback to Sam when he was younger}

Sam to Teddy bear: The cancer has spread. Get your house in order

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Y/N: Dean, you know who the handsomest man in the world is?

Dean: Is it me?

Y/N: What? No it's Ryan Reynolds. You're fugly compared to him

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Dean: You say near death experience , I say it's a vibe check from God

Sam:

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Castiel: What's the first thing you notice in a man

Y/N: The audacity

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Castiel: Damn the power went out

Jack: No worries

Jack: *begins to shake rapidly and starts to glow*

Castiel: Wait what-

Jack: I accidently swallowed a flashlight

Castiel: WHY WOULD YOU-

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Sam: We need a plan

Dean and Y/N: stab them

Sam: Something other than that

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Jack: I almost got surprised adapted yesterday

Sam:*confused*

Y/N: He means kidnapped

Sam: oh okay

Sam: WAIT-

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Dean: FOUR MONTHS

Sam: What's he yelling about

Y/N: He just now figured out that he's been watering a fake plant for four months

Dean: I'VE BEEN WATERING THAT FAKE PLANT FOR FOUR MONTHS 

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Sam: You know if you kill a person there will be the same amount of killers in the world

Y/N: Then kill two

Sam:

Sam: You know what? You're actually right and you just gave me more reasons to be afraid of you

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