*ON HOLD* Before It Gets Better The Darkness Gets Bigger boyxboy

Chapter 8 - The Morning After The Night Before

Dan
*****

I wake up stark naked in my bed, with a pounding headache and a blurred memory. I let out a small gasp as I see all the cuts and scars on my pale body.

I lift up my bedsheets and see an equally-pale and even more scarred arm. I pull on sweatpants and a jumper- confused as to what and who I had done the night before.

"Dan?," I hear a voice with a slight accent say. ELLE! Oh my fucking God I slept with Elle.

"Yes...?" I reply hazily.

"Did we...?" She asks. I nod briefly. "...and did we...?"

"Eh... Yeah," I nod, looking at the plastic on the floor. Elle sighs.

"Can I borrow some clothes?" Elle asks politely.

"Sure," I reply, throwing clean sweatpants and a hoodie to her.

"Thanks!" She says, pulling them on and tying the chord tightly. The sweatpants dragged along the floor, as I was just a little under a foot taller than her- but I couldn't care less.

-

We enter the living room to see Phil on the sofa eating a bowl of (my) cereal.

"I left aspirin," he smiles.

"Thanks," Elle and I say in unison, taking a glass of water and a tablet each from the coffee table.

"So... you did the bishi bashi frickle frackle?" Phil laughs.

"Yeah," I chuckle as Elle smiles.

"So what does that make you two?" Phil asks inquisitively.

"Friends that drink too much," she says, still smiling.

-

I make a pot of tea for the three of us and grab a bowl of cereal each for Elle and I.

"I better go now- I have a hair appointment at 12, " Elle says when she had finished her cereal.

I show her out and say goodbye and promise her we'll see each other again soon.

*****
Phil
(I find it really hard to write as Phil ugh)
*****

"Mario Kart?" I ask Dan after Elle had left.

"Yeah!" Dan smiles back.

I hand him a controller and set up the TV.

"So," I say after a while. "what happened last night after I went to bed?"

"I don't know," Dan answers honestly, his eyes fixed on the screen. "The last thing I remember is snogging her on the sofa."

"You haven't brought someone home in forever!" I laugh. He rolls his eyes at me.

"Says you!" He chuckles.

I nod in agreement, still laughing.

"Phil..." Dan says quietly, breaking my laughing fit.
I look up at him and pause the game- our eyes meeting.

"I just don't know how to do this!" He sighs in frustration, flopping back.

"What is it?" I ask, putting my hand on his shoulder- but he remains silent. "Please, Dan! I'm worried about you."

"I- Elle is lovely, it's just, I'm not ready..." he whispers softly. I nod.

I mean- he's broken, of course he's not ready! Dan needs to focus on getting better, not getting laid! [looks who's jealous]

"Maybe it's better to stay friends for now. That's what she wants right?" I say, rubbing his back.

"Yeah... I do like her though..." Dan half-moans.

He takes his phone out of his pocket and starts texting. A few seconds later I hear his text alert go off.

Dan laughs as he hands me the phone.

/Fuckbuddies?\ his text read.
/Fuckbuddies.\Elle had replied.

"Maybe fuckbuddies can be your always," I giggle.

"Oh do shut up!" Dan jokes.

*****
Dan
*****

I check my texts again and lock myself in the bathroom. I slump against the wooden door.
It's days like these I hate. my mind feels cloudy and everything I see is sped up and frosted-over.

My Twitter alert goes off.

/look guys I met Danny! @danisnotonfire x\

I click into the tweet and see its from @ellesucks. There's a selfie of us attached. Elle's wearing my grey horned jumper with the hood pulled up, and we're both laughing. I smile to myself.

I quote the tweet and add on:

/Danny, really? Great meeting you!\

- (TW)

I let out a quiet sigh.

"DAN!" I hear Phil yell through the door. "You've been in there for fifteen minutes! Are you alright?"

"Yeah- I'm fine. I'm just about to have a shower," I lie.

"Oh okay then," Phil says happily, walking away.

I turn on the shower as a facade. I reach for my razor in my newest hiding place. Letting out a few quiet sobs, I drag the sharp piece of metal along the inside of my wrist.

I grab a bunch of toilet paper and press it against the fresh cut, attempting to clot the blood.

It would be so easy to end it all- just a few deep cuts along my veins. No, I can't! I mustn't. I can't leave Adrian and Phil!

Still sobbing, I put my razor back into its hiding place- under the potted plant Phil had placed in the corner.

I take off my clothes and jump into the shower, so it looks like I had been in there the whole time. I turn it off after a few short minutes.

I dry off and walk over to the sink, letting the blood from my newest- and probably deepest- cut go down the drain. Once it had stopped gushing, I treated it as Elle had showed me and make my way back into the lounge.

A little while later, my eyes go blurry. I blink to try and make it go away, but it didn't work.

"Dan? You look pale, are you okay?" Phil asks, clearly concerned.

"Just need a drink," I stammer, my voice breaking a little.

I run to the kitchen and everything goes black.