What The Actual? (LotR x Reader)

Fine I'll Come but I'm Going to Complain the Whole Time

You had stayed in Rivendell for a fortnight, which mainly consisted of drinking, two days of recovery and avoiding sunlight with Boromir (usually sulking around and having odd conversations while you stayed away from windows), and of course, the able members of the Fellowship trying to teach you and the Hobbits at least some sort of self defence.

'Twas not going well.

Despite the armory in Rivendell being vast, every weapon you picked up seemed to harm you more than your opponent.

~

You held the Elven broadsword in you hands, and watched the tip hit the ground.

"I thought Elven weapons were supposed to be light? This is heavier than Gimli." You went to wipe the sweat off of your forehead, only for your other arm to give out, dropping the handle of the sword on your foot.

You let out a loud curse as Aragorn shared a look with Boromir.

~

"C'mon Legolas," You followed him around the village, taking note of how many of the Elven women smiled his way and looked at you like you were his sad dog, and snorted, poking at his side.

"I'll be a good student. Archery sounds fun,"

"No." He kept walking.

"Yeah maybe I shouldn't learn archery, it's far too easy. I prefer a challenge. Plus, it's quite inconvenient, you run out of arrows and you're screwed, probably the sissiest of weapons if you ask me."

~

You stood in the gardens in the last Homely house, with a tree knot not, too far away as practice, and he showed you how to hold the bow, adjusting your stance quietly and showing you how to pull the bow back. This was probably the nicest he's ever been.

"Do not bend your knees---loosen up your shoulder, it will affect your aim, yes, good, now," He leaned forward, looking closely over your shoulder.

"Stare down the shaft of the arrow, three fingers not two, pull back more--umph," You elbowed him in the ribs, and he took a breath to avoid snapping. He was surprisingly a good teacher--

But not good enough.

Your arrow flew 10 feet off and two feet below the target, and you groaned loudly, seeing the slight smug look that crossed his face.

"It is not as easy as you thought, is it?"

"Shut up."

But none of those were as bad as when Gimli tried to teach you to use his axe.

~

"Alright lass, this is a real weapon, not some flimsy bow or swishy-swashy sword," Aragorn stood with his arms folded aside Legolas, the pair glancing at each other as if they knew this was not going to end well. But they said nothing. Boromir on the other hand, who was teaching Merry and Pippin to lunge and repose, looked over his shoulder, hair flicking back as he gave a sweaty smile.

"She is going to lose a finger if she keeps with that axe," Pippin stepped on his foot, causing him to wince and turn back laughing, tossing his sword to the side as he and Merry shove him to the ground in victory. You chuckled, and looked around, wondering where Sam and Frodo had gone.

Gimli placed the thick weapon into your grasp, taking on a small step back, and spoke.

"Alright lass, grip it tight, like it's the neck of an Elf--" Legolas' smirk dropped, and Aragorn chuckled.