What The Actual? (LotR x Reader)

Something's Afoot

AN

I'm going to be real with you lot--I did not proofread this very well. I am very sorry if it is utter garbage. My motivation has been very lacking these past months in college. I hope I can find it in me to dive back into this writing thing and finish the story soon. I hope you guys enjoy.

Much love and care,

E.

Legolas' nimble fingers caught your collar as you attempted to flee the scene, and you turned to glower at the pretty prince. After all this time, you'd think he would get the hint. You were not one to stick around when things were about to go down the stinker, and judging by the grave faces of everyone around you, it was about to be one fat load.

"And just where do you plan on going on the dawn of war?"

"Dawn? Hmm," you looked around in mock thought.

"Looks more like twilight to me." A snicker ripped through the air as two Elves watched from afar while you sighed, not even amused by the deadpan expression that crossed Legolas' face. What else were you supposed to do? This was not like the mines: a large space with stupid enemies who you could evade and avoid. These were well-trained soldiers intent on fighting a war in a small, enclosed fortress. You were not going to be able to run, and surely you were not going to be able to actually fight. Not well. Not even with the training you got from the rest of the group. As cool as it would be to just say you had become this well-adapted sword slinger thanks to poor writing and plot-holes, this wasn't the case.

You moaned in self pity.

"You know, I really wish I brought a gun. A nice, big gun. But I'm not even picky, I'd settle for anything. Imagine the sheer power I would have if I had been a cop or something, and happened to get sent here with a fat shiny glock. I could just shoot Sauron in the face point-blank like it was nothing."

"What is a gun?" Boromir questioned curiously. Your lips pursed.

"I-- Nevermind, I don't want to force an industrial revolution or something. But man, if only I had one." You really could have conquered Middle-Earth single-handedly if you had brought a gun, you were sure of it.

Your hand swept by your hip absentmindedly at the thought, and you felt the coolness of your sword, grazing your wrist at your side once again as if it would disappear if you weren't mindful of it. The prince's gaze cut to the movement, catching the slight shake of your hand without trying. You were quite good at hiding just how scared you were. Your heartbeat, however, was rather a traitor. Aragorn seemed to notice the tremor as well, eyes as keen as his half kin around him. He sent you a nod. Your fear was understandable, and he was not one to patronize those for being scared. Just maybe, even if he'd refuse to admit it, he was scared too.

"Y/n, fear is to be expected, but we will do our best to protect you. You are safest at our side, do not venture too far from us." You looked at Aragorn with slanted irritation, head bobbing to the side as you ignored any possible truth in his statement since it did not align with your own opinion. Really, no one ever took your side or let you do what you thought best. Not even Boromir was keen on letting you dip out.

So, you stood there with arms crossed and lips pursed more. A brat.

"No offense, but you just came back from the dead, I'd feel safer under the guard of someone who has not died yet, because I, unlike you, cannot just suckle up extra life from the tit of a beautiful Elven maid." The two men made faces at your metaphor, while Legolas stared blankly. Why did everything you say have to be mildly to severely uncomfortable? You shifted your feet on the uneven stone as Legolas replied stoically. Perhaps you lacked air in the womb of your mother.