What The Actual? (LotR x Reader)

A Multitude of Uncomfortable Situations

You were awoken by a warm hand shaking your shoulder gently, and rolled over with a grimace, squinting your eyes closed tighter. It was a dreamless sleep thankfully, void of nightmares for once. You welcomed it.

"Unless someone is dead, leave me alone--actually, unless two someones are dead, leave me alone. And Hobbits only count as half a person."

"Gandalf and Pippin have set off to send word to Minas Tirith, I believed you would have wanted to know." You cracked open a lid, using an arm to sit up under the warm sheets. Gandalf was gone? You could hardly recall anything anymore, the future a blurry haze of random moments scattered about in time. It was worrisome, but there was little you could do about it. So instead, you just accepted what was happening, nodding a bit as you rubbed away sleep with your knuckles. Your back hurt more sleeping on this damn bed than on the ground. Theo couldn't spring for grade A hay? Cheap bastard.

"Oh, we're um, waiting on the beacons to light, right? At least I think that's right," your brows furrowed as you attempted to remember just a small bit, succeeding, and the Elf nodded in reply, averting his gaze to anywhere but you. You noticed.

"Yes, that is correct." Legolas wanted to strangle the two men.

~

"And why must I be the one to wake her?" Legolas complained as the three stood around, folding his arms. Aragorn leaned on the doorframe into the hall of Rohan, having just bid the wizard safe travels, and gestured to Boromir.

"Do you wish to finally divulge us in whatever reason you have to not be the one to wake her?" The other man nodded, the two ganging up on the poor Elf.

"Aye, just tell us why you do not want to, and I'll go in your steed," They waited with the same resounding smugness, knowing good and well whatever happened last night was far too embarrassing for him to share. The prince huffed at them, muttering in Elvish about how men should have shorter lifespans, and disappeared down the corridor.

Boromir leaned towards the Ranger.

"How will we get it out of him?"

Aragorn pulled out his pipe, filling it with weeds as he hmmed.

"Time my friend. Time always tells."

They made eye contact and chuckled in sync.

"Care to wager?"

~

You cleared your throat, sitting up more.

"Well, I should um, probably go see what Aragorn wants me to do today. Probably something lame like check on the women and children or whatever."

"Aragorn suggested this morning that we take time to ourselves until we hear word from Gondor. Another battle is ahead of us, we should make good use of our brief reprieve." His last words were a bit grime, and his jaw set at the thought. More war. More bloodied bodies on the battlefield at the hands of Sauron. Never in his millennia had he witnessed so much loss at the hands of one person, one thing. And that said a lot.

You processed his words, realizing that it meant Aragorn was giving you a freebie to rain terror on the village, and grinned, forgetting about the awkward tension that came with the Elf's arrival. Just imagine all the horror. You couldn't waste a second.

You threw your legs off the side of the bed, pushing the blankets away to the edge with your quick movements. Your compass tumbled to the floor in a clank, rolling for a few inches before slowing into a circle, landing close to underneath the bed. The top swung open at the force.