What The Actual? (LotR x Reader)

The Ignoring Game

You opened your mouth to scream in fear, but nothing came out. Everyone rushed about, putting out the fire and hiding while you stood there gawking at the scary-ass birds. It was like a swarm of winged devils. Like lil' bitch dragons. Like if Smaug had illegitimate kids with an Eagle and wanted to keep it on the DL, it would be them.

"ú sael!"

You felt a hard force knock you to the ground, pushing you into the underbrush as you let out an airless wheeze. The pressure knocked the wind out of you, and you turned and glared at the so called 'force,' leaves and dirt in your hair.

"You daft, little weasel--"

"Be quiet," He whispered in annoyance, looking through the gaps in the brush as shadows of bodies passed over, a wave of black sweeping the hills. It would have been so much easier to just leave you out there, honestly. Surely no one would miss you.

"I don't know what my spleen is, but I think you broke it--" You were cut off mid-way through your pointless ramble by a hand covering your mouth, Legolas not giving you another glance as he watched carefully, and your nose curled in disgust.

So naturally, you licked the front side of his palm.

His eyes seem to widen as he turned, giving you a look of disbelief, and after the swarm passed and you crawled out of the shrubs, he repeatedly wiped his hand on the front of his tunic, giving you a glower.

"You are disgusting." You retorted.

"Yeah, well, you shouldn't invade my personal space." As the Fellowship gathered, Frodo looked at Aragorn in question while Gandalf gave a steady sigh, leaning onto his staff. Good fortune never seemed to bless him when he needed it most. A nuisance.

"The spies of Saruman are upon us now. We stay on our path and head for the Caradhras. We camp here tonight, they have already seen us."

So Aragorn rekindled the fire that was dosed, there no point in hiding anymore, and the Fellowship sat around doing broody things like thinking in tense silence, until you finally got bored of all the Thorin wannabes, and sat down next to the Ranger on a fallen log, boots in the dirt.

"What is the scariest thing you've ever seen while you were--ranging? Is that the term?" He lifted his head at the sound of your question, the usually grim and stern looking man seemingly more light hearted than usual, the laughter of the Hobbits and the snide comments of Gimli enough to temporarily lift his spirits. He ran his tongue over his teeth in thought, before answering.

"There are many stories of those I have seen who have unquestioningly sent fear into my heart,"

"Who managed to scare you?" Sam spoke, as if such a thing was impossible beyond belief. He sat down on the dead log a few feet away, a light clanking of the equipment he had in his belt sounding as his warm eyes curiously waited. Pippin sat down with a flop next to him, leaning forward.

"Yeah, you're like--you," Legolas looked over from his position next to the wizard, who sat farther from the group, looking over the edge of the cliff into the night while he smoked, and answered from him, deference in his timbre.

"Being brave like Aragorn does not mean lacking fear, Samwise. It simply means he continues, despite feeling so." He shared a look with Aragorn, giving him a slight nod of respect with an accompanying simper. The Ranger returned the gestures, and looked back to you.

"If you are still interested in a tale I, will share one tonight," You pursed your lips, thinking, before glancing to the Elf.

"I want to know how you met Legolas. When, where, how--etc." The Elf's ears seemed to perk up, and he walked over to the edges of the fire, sitting beside Frodo. Gimli and Boromir followed in suit, coming closer to listen as the wizard blew rings into the night, tuning in but lost in thought all at once.