What The Actual? (LotR x Reader)

In the Mines

"I hate this." You grumbled as you trudged down the rocky path, stumbling and tripping over the rough ground with every other step. Legolas glanced at you from over his shoulder.

"I know."
"I hate walking." He sighed.
"I know."
"I hate--"

"Everything yes I know. You do not have to remind me." You exhaled loudly, shoulders slumping. It had taken hours to head back in the other direction, and they didn't even stop at night! You had to walk without sleep for a whole day to reach the West Gate. By the time you stood before it you slumped to the ground, the Hobbits tiredly doing the same. Every part of your legs burned with dread, and salty sweat chaffed between them, your skin hot and dry.

"I am never walking again, you have my word. I will not move from this spot ever again." Boromir chuckled and dropped his items to the ground, sitting on the rock behind you with a sigh of relief, his knees apart. You leaned back against his leg, using him as a chair, and closed your eyes for a moment of rest. You weren't going to tell Gandalf the answer to the doors--at least not until you got a breather.

Plus, you really needed to consider ripping the space-time continuum or something.

"Once the gates are opened, we are to continue." Aragorn said in response to your promise, stroking Bill's nose while glancing in your direction. What a horse girl.

You snorted, cracking one eye open to look at the old coot.
"Yeah, but it will be awhile."

"Frodo, come and help an old man." The young Hobbit walked up to Gandalf, letting him support himself with the half-ling under his arm as he thought to himself. You watched for a moment before your attention trailed to the Dwarf.
Gimli was still gazing around in awe, and you smiled at how pleased he looked to be standing there. You almost felt the need to ruin it. Almost.

"Hey Gimli?"

"What,"

"Did Thorin ever come here?" The Elf looked up from his position with squinted eyes, head tilting slightly to the side.

"What is with you and your obsession with Thorin Oakenshield? You have not even met him." You shrugged in reply, lazily walking over to the lake which surrounded the area to see if you could see down into its depths.
"How can you not like Thorin Oakenshield? He oozes greatness, and majesty."
You held back a snort as Gandalf looked at the doors, which started to glow in a pale light.

"Well, let's see. Ithildin. It mirrors only starlight and moonlight."

The Moon appeared from behind the clouds and the doors illuminated.

"Well that's convenient."

"The doors of Durin, Lord of Moria. Speak friend, and enterer."
"What do you suppose that means?"

"The mines are scary right now, go away and come back later? Yeah probably," You nodded to the Hobbit, but as you turned, you were whirled back by around by the taunting tone of the Elf, who rose a brow with his arms loosely folded.

"Do you fear the underground?"

"Yes, I'm not some mole-rat. I like fresh air! Not being in dark, gloomy, damp, most likely haunted mountains! What if there's a ghost in there? What if he has an army of ghost friends and they all laugh at us for being alive and decide they feel bad we're not dead and they are and then kill us?! I don't want to get murdered by a ghost in there! No one will find my body!" Legolas stared as you rambled, eyebrow still raised as he looked at you with his whole superiority complex face. He snorted.

"Do not fear the dead, they would not kill you. It would mean they would suffer you in the after life."

"No wonder the Gods gifted Elves with immortality then,"
He went to reply, but was cut off.