Fuckass... || ChiScara

15.

"I'll never go near your bed," I said, and yet, here I am, outside of his hotel room. So my word may or may not be bullshit. But whatever, even though I speak absolute bullshit, I heaved out a sigh before grasping the door knob in my hand. Ever so slowly, as to not cause any noise, I twisted it and pushed the door open, eyes locked on the floor. With just as much quietness I pushed it shut, turning to the bed, still not looking up or saying a word, I climbed in. Pulling the blanket over myself, I felt arms wrap themselves around my waist and pull me against Childe's warm body. Shit, I wasn't quiet enough and he realised I was here. I thought I could've gotten in properly before he got me. So I groaned slightly in protest of his action, though at the same time I buried my face in his chest and wrapped my own arms around him.

"So much for not getting in my bed again, right?" - Childe

"Shut up. As if you don't want me here." - Scaramouche

I looked up to see his stupid grin in the dim lighting, barely seeing past my hat which had slipped off and was resting on my back but still was big enough to cover my face most of the way.

"Now now, I never said that I don't want you here." - Childe

As he spoke, he let go of me, causing me to let out a small whine, though he only moved my hat, placing it beside the bed, before he continued soothing my ache for his touch. His hands were placed against my sides, rubbing them slightly. I adjusted myself slightly, lying on top of him fully and burying my face in the crook of his neck now. When he questioned me about a crush, I felt the need to be as close to that crush as possible. Him. I need to be close to him.

"Ty ocharovatel'na kukolka" - Childe
(You are adorable, doll)

The fuck did he just say?? That bitch needs to stop speaking whatever language that is, probably Russian since he comes from Snezhnaya. But whatever, I'm not feeling very talkative right now so instead I squeezed him slightly tighter with a glare I knew he wouldn't be able to see. If I had a heart, it'd probably be hammering in my chest like crazy, and I'm sure the ginger idiot beneath me knows it. That's probably why he flirts with me the way he does, the reason he spends so much time making me feel like this. He's just being a teasing flirt because he knows it'll work on me. Right? Nobody else likes me, not even the other harbingers, or Ei, who abandoned me, even though she made me. Why would Childe? There's no reason. 

Maybe I should just accept this, and be thankful for his warm touch, his warm arms that had returned to my back, holding me close. Even if he's just toying with me, it's the best I've ever had, so may as well appreciate it. So I sighed, burying my nose further into the warm neck, but I think my eyes might have been a little wet because Childe shifted beneath me and he spoke, concern clear in his voice.

"Hey hey hey hey hey, Kuni, what's up?" - Childe

This is where he goes too, isn't it? Shedding a tear was what made Ei deem me unworthy and made her ditch me. He'll tell the Tsaritsa and I won't be worthy of being a harbinger either, and I'll lose that, and I'll lose him. I need to suck it up and stop before I lose this stupid ginger idiot, I don't want to lose him. So with a shaking voice I managed to force out just one word, squeezing myself tighter around him as I did.

"Nothing." - Scaramouche

"It's okay, Kukla, I've got you." - Childe

He's got me, he wouldn't say that if this was going to make him leave, right? I felt his fingers run up through my hair, sending tingles through my skin. After a few moments of calming down I sniffed and brought myself to speak again.

"I said nothing's wrong, fuckass..." - Scaramouche

"Right, I believe you." - Childe

"Shut up." - Scaramouche

Maybe since he's not being a bitch now, he might stay? This is the most, well, vulnerable I've been with him I guess. So, maybe this is okay, maybe I won't lose him. The thought brought a small smile to my face, but this doesn't really show he'll stay. I have to just see, but, no matter how much I act like I hate him, I won't be the one leaving if we do end up parting.

The first thing I can do now, is just fall asleep in his arms again so, guess that's what I'll do.

"Goodnight." - Scaramouche

"Night night, Doll." - Childe