ᴀʟʟ ɪ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ɪꜱ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ꜰʀᴇᴇ - regulus black

chapter 16

Later in the night, Octavia was all alone in the Slytherin common room. It had been the case since she came back from the Gryffindor tower. She had been there, curled up on a sofa - the one facing the fire - and she had been crying. Along with the crackling fire, her sobs had been the only thing breaking the silence of the room. Until the entrance door opened.

"So tired..." murmured a familiar voice. The girl yawned loudly before saying, "Good night Black."

Ivanna Flint went straight to her room not even noticing her, unmoving on the sofa, her knees curled up against her chest. She wished she were invisible.

His eyes were stuck on her as the other girl directed herself towards the dorms. She could feel Regulus' presence in the room. He remained there and didn't leave like Ivanna did. He didn't make a single sound as he approached her and came to sit down at her side. Octavia hugged her knees more tightly, hiding more her face, wishing once again she could disappear. Forever maybe.

"Are you okay?" 

No answer.

"Octavia are you okay?" he murmured again. He sounded worried but still, she gave no answer. Maybe he would give up.

However, after a few seconds, she felt a hand on her shoulder. A touch as light as a feather. But Octavia flinched. She straightened up and slapped his hand away, to his surprise. The boy finally got a look at her face. Her blue eyes were widened in fear - no, in terror, he thought. There was a mix of terror and sadness in her blue eyes. Especially sadness. And she had been crying, tears were still painting her red cheeks.

"Don't touch me..." mouthed her quivering lips, her tone of voice sounding almost like a threat even though she was about to break down in tears again.

"I'm sorry Octavia... what happened?" he asked, trying to keep his calm even though the situation was confusing him.

"Nothing happened! Please I just want to forget..." she whispered through tears that started falling again.

She went back into a curled up position, holding herself as she whimpered miserably.

"Something serious happened right? Octavia you... you can't keep this to yourself, this is clearly hurting you.." muttered the boy, trying to sound as reassuring as possible but it was hard.

"No you wouldn't understand... You don't even want to hear about my stupid stories..." she only told him, the tears not stopping. That was the only thing she could do in this moment, her body couldn't do anything else.

"If it's hurting you so bad, it's not stupid," he whispered, his voice soft, hoping he could ease her. "Share some of your pain with me, that's why I'm here for."

Her sobs quieted down a little and only her heavy breathing could be heard. He was referring to the fact they were engaged. As her future husband, he had to be there for her, even in the bad times and she remembered it was also the reason of her current state.

"It's just... I know you'll find this stupid, but... I had sex with Max and..."

A loud sob escaped her lips, her body started shaking, her tears soaking her arms as she hid.

"Take your time, I'm here to listen."

"I know he wanted it for so long and I couldn't make him wait longer. I wasn't really ready but still I didn't say no. I'm such an idiot..."

"But why?" was Regulus' instant answer.

"You'll find me stupid I know but I felt guilty for kissing you. It was so unbearable so I did it hoping it would stop but now I feel worse," she whispered now looking at him. "It hurt. Everywhere. I feel so bad now. I hate it, everything of it. I'm so horrible Regulus."