Take 2 Times 2? Future Book 3?

15. New sensations

This feels so good, just to be able to relax, no pressure holding me down, no sound, no feeling. Nothing but me and my thoughts, no worries and no stress, just warmth, soft and fuzzy. Just me and a bear with a soft blanket wrapped around me. I wander through the darkness just us two, not walking but floating in this endless bliss. All alone with no one and nothing to worry about, just me and a teddy bear.

"Ok. That's boring." I open my eyes and all I see is darkness. I rub my eyes and open them again. There's a small light, a pale blue glow coming from somewhere in the room. I sat up and groaned. Moments later the door is opened, and I see a silhouette of a large person. The light behind this person is almost blindingly bright. I cover my eyes shielding them from the light. The figure comes closer to me on silent steps. Then there's a voice. This voice is a soothing one, one meant to comfort, one that I recognized, but I can't quite make out what he was saying. I ask him to repeat himself and he does.

"Are you awake this time, little one?" Little one? Had I slipped? Was I acting small? If so, then for how long? But I don't remember slipping. The last thing I remember was, pain. And before that, I had traveled in time. Had I slipped after that? I assessed myself. I feel better now, no pain, not tired. I actually felt pretty good, maybe a little hungry and definitely thirsty. My mouth feels like I've been sucking on cotton for hours.

"Awake. Thirsty. No pain. And maybe a little hungry. Can you give me a hand up please? I'm not tired, but I am still a little out of it right now." Instead of coming to me he told me to cover my eyes. He was going to turn on the light. I did. Then I fell back, my head hitting my pillow again. The light came on and it was so bright it hurt. I used both hands at first then I moved to using my arms. Then I felt something touch my lips. And he told me to drink. I opened my mouth and felt the nipple of a bottle. I grabbed it with both hands and started sucking. I was thirstier than I thought, and I drank. He told me to lie still, and he would change me. I was too focused on drinking to care much what he did.

I drank and drank until there was nothing left. Then what he said hit me. Change me. What did he mean by change me? I finally was able to open my eyes to see Bear standing there over me. I reached one hand down to feel something odd. He had just put a diaper on me. But he said change me. That meant that I was wearing one already. But why would I have been wearing a diaper in the first place?

I started to feel odd. My eyes went wide. My heart started to race. I was having a hard time breathing. I think I was having a heart attack. No, this would be a panic attack. I've heard of these. I know the symptoms. Max has these then he goes little. Bear put his hand on my chest not to restrain me, but to try and help me. I knew this somehow. It's what we did to try and help Max. "Husky, calm down. It'll be ok. Some of Max's traits you got. You're safe here. It's only me here." Then he pulled me into a hug. At first it felt weird being hugged by Bear, but then it actually started feeling good in a way. Big arms wrapped around me, holding me together so I wouldn't shatter apart. He held me together so I wouldn't have to. My heart slowed and my tears flowed. There was no way for me to stop them, so I didn't try. But eventually, they stopped on their own. And I was me again.

"Thanks, Bear. I think I really needed that. Is that what Max feels? That feeling of being shattered apart? And then, you hold him together. God, that was terrifying, like my whole world was falling apart. I don't know how he does it time and time again. I think I would rather die than to deal with that." I was calm again, for the most part, but I could still feel the strain that one panic attack put on my body. I felt tired again, but not tired enough to go to sleep, more mentally tired then anything.

Bear helped me to stand and then to my dresser to get something on. "We don't know how you will be affected, so I recommend keeping that on for now, but you are an adult, so it's your call. Just remember what you just went through and what Max goes through every day. He has kept one on almost the entire time he has been up here. And nobody says a word about it. If a 15-year-old kid can do that, I think you can for a little while, but as of right now, you're off the clock. You and Max need to talk. Maybe he can help you more than anyone. The only thing I want you focused on is you, but if you feel up to it, I would like it if you stayed close to him. Now, no sarcasm here, remember that, would you like some help getting dressed? Or with anything else?" I shook my head, and he grabbed my bottle and started to leave. "We'll be in Max's sitting room when you're ready. And Husky, bring the bear." Then he left.