Deadly In Love

Part 19: War to Hope

NYPD 19TH PRECINCT - Tuesday, February 22nd 20XX. 10:22 am

I heard Blair and Jeffery arguing, I walked out and began to overhear. 

"How long has this been going on?" Jeffery started pacing with an angry tone. "It's only been a couple of weeks." She projected. "And you didn't mention anything?" He added frustrated, "I didn't think it would get this bad, we had talked about him going back to therapy." She argued, and Jeffery sighed heavily. 

"You can't just decide what's best for him when you've barely been in his life!" He raised his tone and she crossed her arms. "I love him! I'm doing my best Jeffery!" She yelled back. "He's a grown man and doesn't need to be babied by a girl who already has enough problems." He exclaimed and for the first time, I had never seen Blair so upset. "I already told him to get help, and if you could stop and think for two seconds instead of constantly sitting on your high horse. You would see that!" She said annoyed. 

Jeffery sighed, "Look, as much Grif and I aren't on good terms I still care about him and want to always protect him." He replied sincerely, and Blair nodded slightly. "Then stop fighting with me, because we both want the same thing." She replied and he agreed.

"I'm just looking out for him, hence why I got him off this case, in the first place-" Suddenly, I interrupted them and they turned toward me. "You took me off the case before?" I stated and he looked at me with pure fear in his eyes.  

"Grif listen..." He tried to explain himself, "I can't believe you!" I said bawling up my fist, "I only did it because I knew the route you were going down." He added.

NYPD 19TH PRECINCT - Tuesday, February 22nd 20XX. 11:10 am

Lillian came to see what was happening and other officers were beginning to stare. "And look what happened! You still fell in love with a god damn serial killer!" He explained frustrated, "Did you even learn anything?!" I yelled, "To stay out of this case!" I added as I began to walk closer to him. We glared at each other face to face. 

"You're always acting like you're some saint Jeffery, but you're just a leech and budding into everyone's lives because your life is such a fucking pity." I angrily suggested and he gritted his teeth. "Guys let's stop this now!" Blair tried to interject. "Oh spare me, Griffin, why don't you stop trying to act like you're better than everyone else when you're just as fucked up like her." He yelled and I instantly punched him in the face.

Lillian shook her head in disapproval, and everyone stood there in shock. Blair looked dejected, she couldn't even meet my eyes. Blood came down from Jeffery's nose, he wiped it with his hand. 

I looked back at her and then to Jeffery with my last effort. "Don't you ever talk shit about Blair or I ever again, or so help me God I will beat you until you're begging me to stop." I stormed away down the hall in a huff. 

NYPD 19TH INTERROGATION ROOM - Tuesday, February 22nd 20XX. 11:35 am

I sat against the wall of the interrogation room, my head lowered into my bloody hands. Blood that wasn't mine, but someone I used to call my best friend. God, what the fuck am I doing? 

I said I wanted to get therapy to manage my anger and trauma, if I want to help myself then why am I ruining everything for myself. Why do I constantly feel like I'm being sent backward? Why am I like this? 

I was still so angry, so frustrated at the person I was becoming. I want these feelings to go away. I want everything to go back to normal. But they couldn't, in a way this was who I always was. Someone aggressive, obsessive, lustful, stubborn, and... just a complete and utter fuck up.

NYPD 19TH INTERROGATION ROOM - Tuesday, February 22nd 20XX. 11:48 am

I heard the door shriek open, I looked up to see Lillian at the doorframe. Her arms were crossed with a displeased look on her face.

"Well, that was quite the show, Griffin." She stated and I rolled my eyes. "Spare me the lecture, I know I fucked up again," I replied as I ran my hand through my hair and she sat on the ground next to me. Lillian rested her head on my shoulder, we sat there in silence for a moment.

"I know I need help, and I want to get better again," I added sincerely, "I know Grif, and as much as you're angry at Jeffery. You can't hold it against him because he was doing his job. He saw that you were digging into something that was going too far." She explained, I nodded slightly. "You guys have been best friends for as long as I've known you, and I know I was never the one for you but that doesn't mean I never stopped caring." She added sweetly,  "And I know I've hurt you and broke your trust, but I'm not going anywhere." She continued and I smiled slightly.

Lillian lifted her head and we met eyes for a moment, she softly kissed my forehead before getting up to leave.

She turned around for a moment, "The first step to getting better is fixing those burnt bridges and communicating. Talk to Jeffery, explain to him everything that you're experiencing, and apologize." She said and I looked at her starstruck before she walked out of the room. 

NYPD 19TH INTERROGATION ROOM - Tuesday, February 22nd 20XX. 12:25 pm

I sat there realizing that she never stopped loving me even after everything. Lillian Winters still loved me, and she knew I didn't feel the same. She knew that she could never compete with Blair and yet still was always willing to stand by my side. I could never repay her for that, and even if she had cheated on me all that time ago... I'm no different with my anger issues.

Seems as though we can't always judge or assume because Blair was right we all had our demons. It just came down to if we wanted to hide it or accept it. 

Thank you, Lillian. 

I may not be in love with you but a part of me will still always love you for all that you did. 

I got up from the ground and went to go find Jeffery. 

NYPD 19TH PRECINCT - Tuesday, February 22nd 20XX. 12:33 pm

I saw him at his desk filing some paperwork. "Jeffery..." I said hesitantly and he turned to face me.

"Can we talk? I wanted to apologize," I added, and I couldn't help but notice his swollen nose from my punch. Jeffery stood up and nodded slightly, we walked to an empty room. I closed the door behind us. "I really need to apologize to you." I averted his eyes and he sighed, he instantly came to hug me. I was taken aback, he was willing to take me in again.

Once I was released from the hug, he patted my shoulder. "I just wanted you to tell me what was going on, I wanted to help like I always have. We're partners. And maybe you're right, I don't know you but let me get to know the real you." His voice was strained but I could tell he meant it. "Can we start over?" I asked sheepishly and he nodded happily, "Of course, you're like my little brother. In a way, we're family." He added and I couldn't help but smile.

From there I told him everything about me, about Blair, about my childhood, my mother, my problems, and my nightmares. It felt like we were finally getting back on the right track. 

He then began to explain all the research he was doing on Harrison. Especially how they believe that he's hiding out at Blair's old childhood home. Since there is some attachment left there. The only thing was what was he aiming to do?

NYPD 19TH PRECINCT - Tuesday, February 22nd 20XX. 1:30 pm

Once some time had passed, Jeffery, Blair, Lillian, and I all went back to the conference room to discuss and put together the clues we had. We knew we didn't have much time since there was a sense of something life-changing coming soon.