(the three lemon friends pull up to the huge hotel in a limo because they are so crazy sexy and cool)
ME: I'm Kurt Nirvana Cobain.
Wow this place is amazing and huge
FIRE: Help ikr 😼
RAZZ: Today is gonna be the day that their gonna throw it back to you
(Kellin Quinn comes out of the hotel in a suit with a luggage thingy)
KELLIN QUINN: *In a really high voice*
I'm Kellin Quinn I sleep with sirens let me take your luggage
(He grabs the suitcases)
KELLIN QUINN: Welcome to The Pinkerton Hotel fellas, after you get settled in your room my friend Rivers Cuomo will give you a tour. As you might have seen on the brochure this hotel is filled with waterslides and rollercoasters and every night there will be a new event in the grand hall
(Kellin stands on a podium, with his luscious brown hair blowing in the wind, and has a main character moment)
KELLIN QUINN: This Friday marks the grand opening of THE JONATHAN DAVIS ROLLERCOASTER!!! With 100 loop de loops, a high speed of up to 1,000 miles per hour over FLAMING HOT LAVA
ME: That doesn't sound so safe
KELLIN QUINN: It is bitch
ME: All Apologies
(We make our way to our room with luggage being pulled shortly behind in a cart)
(Fire and Razz pull out their many band posters and hang them up over their beds)
RAZZ: What do we do now there's so much?!
ME: We are waiting for Rivers Cumhole I think
FIRE: AS IN RIVERS CUOMO FROM THE HIT AMERICAN ROCK BAND WEEZER WHO CONSIST OF 15 STUDIO ALBUMS 37 SINGLES AND 40 MUSIC VIDEOS WITH THEIR DEBUT ALBUM THE BLUE ALBUM FEATURING HIT SONGS SUCH AS SAY IT AIN'T SO, BUDDY HOLLY, AND UNDONE, HITTING 16 ON THE US BILLBOARD 200 RIVERS CUOMO WEEZER??
(Rivers flies in through the hotel window on a pegasus shredding on his guitar*
(Fire passes out)
RIVERS: hello my kittens welcome to the Pinkerton hotel I hope you enjoy your lovely stay slay queens I'll show y'all around follow me
(Fire resurrects and floats into the sky with Bring Me To Life by Evanescence playing in the background)
ME: That was funky fresh
(Rivers guides us along the winding halls of the hotel which are thick with yellow and white wallpaper and long brown carpets giving an old fashioned feeling)
RAZZ: this reminds me of my grandmas house
(We get to end of the hallway and there at the dead end is a tube streaming with water, Rivers jumps in)
RIVERS: YAHOOOOOO
(Razz and Fire jump in after him)
(I wait a brief second)
*something rustles behind me but I don't catch what it is before I jump in*
(when we exit the water slide we walk into a huge game room filled with people)
RIVERS: This is the sweaty gamer room where the ping pong and competitive yodeling tournaments take place
(Kellin Quinn is in the large crowd of people huddling around the ping pong table watching two competitors finish up their game)
KELLIN QUINN: *Squeaky*
Guys! you just missed the last game
(Kellin points to a short man with a red hat and goatee who is standing triumphantly with his paddle between his armpit and signing autographs)
YOU ARE READING
The Pinkerton Hotel
HumorKurt Cobain and his friends Razz and Fire didn't expect their fun getaway at The Pinkerton Hotel would take a turn... for the worst.
