Black Wing [Watty Awards 2012]

Chapter 26

I crumpled to the floor, sadness coming over me like the plague. I knew this was going to happen, we had talked about it often enough, but somehow I had convinced myself that it wouldn’t happen. That it was just one of those things that you spoke about, but you never expected it to happen to you, like murder, a tsunami, the sort of things that happen rarely and the things that you can’t imagine happening to you.

What happens now? Does Gabriel come back tomorrow? A few months? Years? A sob escaped my lips as I thought about the amount of time we would have to be apart. I don’t think I could deal with a year away from him; we had already had so many years taken away from us because I moved away, but could our relationship survive that length of time apart?

All of these questions swam through my head, not knowing what to think, not knowing whether I should allow myself to hope he would return soon. If I allowed myself to hope, then the devastation I would feel if he did not return would crush me.

I wiped my face with my hands to clear away the tears; there was no point as more tears streamed from my eyes. Then I saw it. The rose. The note.

I lunged for it, desperately needing to see the words Gabriel had written. He must have known he was going tonight; otherwise he wouldn’t have written the note and carried it around with him tonight.

I unravelled the note from the white rose and held it in shaking hands, my vision blurry from my tears, but I still managed to read it.

My dearest Amelia,

                                 if you are reading this then it means I am no longer by your side, and for that I am truly sorry. But you should know, when you came back here, you brought the light back into my life when I was consumed by darkness. But now it is your love that consumes me, and I would have it no other way. Nothing can compare to you Amelia, you are my reason for living; literally. When I look at you, I see my future, my future with you. I know that we never spoke about our future together, but I thought about it. A lot.

But Amelia, there is a chance I may not come back, and if that is the case (which I am sincerely hoping it isn’t) then please move on, find someone who will love you as much as I do, maybe more. Please don’t mourn me.

I love you, Amelia. From now until forever.

Gabriel.

I read the letter over and over again until it was engraved into my memory. If Gabriel thinks I can move on from him, he is seriously mistaken. There is no way I can find someone else after everything that Gabriel and I have gone through.

We had never really spoken about our future together. I never really wanted to bring the subject up because I never knew whether we could have the future that I wanted. I wanted a family of my own, a house, maybe a family pet. I knew I could have a house and a pet with Gabriel, but what about kids? Could he have kids? I never asked, but I thought about it, just like he did. I wander if he wanted the same things as me?

I can’t think about this anymore. The thought of having this future with someone else sickens me, and the thought of not having it with Gabriel affected me like no words could express.

I picked up the white rose and brought it to my nose, knowing that Gabriel had given this to me right before he left saddened me and gave my spirits some sort of lift. I wrapped the note back around the rose and started to get up when a hand wrapped around my arm; helping me stand.

I gasped and stepped away from who ever it was, only to look at the familiar face of Isaac. He smiled sadly at me, and held out his arms for me. I was shocked but comforted at the same time as I stepped into his arms and started crying into his white shirt. I felt his arms wrap around my shoulders as he shushed me.