You ready for that beer?

The take-out girl

It's cold and freezing in this room. Walls are grey, floor is sheer, no windows. Almost the only furniture is a table with a blanket on it, and on that blanket there's Bobby.

He used to be such a happy dog, playful, always full of energy and fun. Now his snout is as gray as ever, his cute lop-ears hanging to the floor, his eyes so dark and painful. I almost don't have the strength to walk. Every step feels so heavy and reminds me of a swamp mission years ago.

"Hey there, little buddy", I whisper, my voice shaking. My hand trembles as I stroke his fur, carefully, then tickling him between the ears. Back then he then always made that cute little sound, almost like a chuckle, but now he doesn't even rise his head.

I pull my hand back. It's shaking harder, so I make a fist.

My foster parents offered to be here. But I said now because the only one I want here to be with me doesn't care enough to come.

I need Chris right now. I long for her more than ever. It's just a feeling, a very strong one, though: If she would be here, everything would be fine.

But she's not. And I feel so alone.

✴✴✴

It's already dark when I drive back, the roads so empty, the air so clean I would have laughed and cheered in another situation. My foster parents offered me to stay, but I want to be back on duty tomorrow. It'll help me get my mind off all the bad stuff that's been going on lately. Not Chris exactly, considering I work with her, but Bobby. It'll be good to be back in the field again.

I'm starving, so I stop at a McDonald's to get some fries and a double cheeseburger. Because that makes me feel guilty, I also pick out a salad.

"That's pretty much for only one person", the girl says, winking, handing out the fries. Am I too tired or is she actually flirting with me?

I'm definitly not in the mood for that now. And that's saying something.

"Well, I'm hungry ...", I say in a low, tired voice. "And I need to go now, I've got work tomorrow ..."

She smiles, taking the cash. "What kind of work?"

She won't give up, will she?

Biting my lip, I try to think of the least attractive job I know.

"I'm a garbage man. And, er, in my free time I sell drugs on the streets."

She laughs. "Yeah, makes sense. And you probably stole that badge out of the garbage?"

Embarrassed, I put my hand over the badge. I forgot that I'm still wearing it. Must be really tired. To be honest, my thoughts right now are everywhere but with this girl in front of me.

"I'm sorry", I tell her, honestly. "I really have to go."

"No worry, I'll let you - officer", the girl says, laughing again. She does have cute dimples, and a very cute accent. "One thing, though: Can I give you the vegan burger for free? We've got a new one and I'd personally really like if it became more popular, so ..."

She's really sweet. Sweet and natural and smart and pretty, too. Besides, she seems to care about animals and the environment a lot, and that's so kind and one of the sexiest character traits I can imagine.

I mean: What more do I want?

I don't even have to think about that.

It would be easy to start a conver-sation now, asking her if she's vegan herself and why she works at McDonald's anyway and so on. I'm a master of flirting and if I wanted to, I'm sure I could wake up next to her tomorrow morning.

But I don't say any of it. For some reason, I keep my mouth shut and just take the bags.

"Have a good night", I say politely, forcing a smile. "And I'll recommand that vegan burger for you."

Her face lights up and her warm smile follows me when I leave the bistro.

She is awesome.

But she's not Chris.

This would be the thought this night should end with, but it only makes me stand still. I want Chris. I can't think of anyone but her. Problem: She doesn't feel the same way. So, please, why did I block that girl's flirt attempts, why didn't I just play along? Because I don't wanna cheat on someone who doesn't even like me?

There's no sense in there at all.

I have to get over Chris. And what's better for that than starting a relationship with another girl? I think back of that moment with Bobby and I realize I'm not looking for a fun night here, but for someone to bond with. The way I did with Chris - or thought I did.

But that girl seemed like relationship material, now that I really come to think about it. And why not? What's the worst that could happen? 

Literally, I have nothing to loose. Nothing.

And it wouldn't hurt to know her name, right?

For one moment, I hesitate. Then I turn around.