You ready for that beer?

Driving

As I step outside, rain starts to pour. The clouds are thick and dark, the sun has vanished like she's never coming back. Fine by me.

Weather fits perfectly to my mood.

I guess I could cry, I definitly feel like crying. My dog is dying, my best friend in the world will probably never to speak to me again. But I just feel numb. When Chris and I kissed, I thought we had a moment. I thought it meant something. For we've been getting along so great the last couple of weeks.

But instead, she ghosts me. She doesn't talk to me, doesn't even look me in the eye. I know that a relationship between us would be against the rules and probably not easy, but wasn't it worth a try? Or at least a talk?

I feel anger rising inside my chest. Her last look at me, so meaningless and cold, makes me furious, and that feels good. Because it replaces that gut-wrenching pain of knowing that her feelings for me obviously don't exist. Never did.

In the parking lot, almost at the gate, I hesitate. Yesterday, I decided I would take the bus today. For the environment and all of course, but mostly because I wanted to make the ride less awkward for me and Chris, easier. That was when I thought she was still coming with me, that this kiss didn't change her caring for me, being my fucking friend.

I can't take the bus now. I feel sick at the only thought.

Taking a deep breath, I kick the starter of my motorbike and drive out of the parking lot. When I'm on the highway, I press the gas, going faster and faster and faster until the whole world is only a blurr.

The wind burns in my eyes and almost tears out my hair. It feels good. I don't have to think of anything, I'm just driving, and that's everything I need to know.