You ready for that beer?

Almost

I can't do this anymore.

It's been two weeks since Monday which means I had a lot of time to think, and I did think. A lot. Too much, to be honest, but now I finally figured it out.

I have to talk to him.

Tuesday morning, seeing Street in HQ was different. I wasn't really mad at him anymore, the reason I still couldn't face him eye to eye was me being the worst person in the world.

He was devastated when he found out about Bobby. I saw him almost cry over his dog. And because I made a heavy mistake that night, I punished him, by letting him down and facing his dying dog all by himself, alone.

Just imagining him there with Bobby is too much.

I feel ashamed when I think of that day, I do. Because we actually had been friends, Street and I, and that kiss was ... it shouldn't effect that. We should stand over it, forget it, never talk about it again. But I miss our conversations, hearing him go on and on about his dream motorbike. I miss being his friend.

That's all I want. Us being friends again. Nothing less and definitly nothing more. Any feelings for Street don't exist and that kiss was not a result of attraction or even love, but of alcohol. A lot of alcohol.

Yes. Alcohol.

...

The day is over, villain behind bars, everything done. Except for one thing. I take my time in the locker room, hoping Street won't hurry too much. Luckily, he's checking his phone a lot, so in the end there's only him and me left - and Tan.

Practising my part of the conversation noislessly, I play with the fastening of my bagpack, waiting for Tan to finally leave.

Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to be his intention.

"Who are you texting so industriously, hm, Street?", he asks mockingly.

Why does he have to be in such a good mood today?

Street breaks into a light smile.

"Emilia", he says, not even looking up. Is it me or is there something provocative in his tone? "She's awesome. We met a week ago at McDonalds, when I drove back from my foster parents."

He looks up, straight into my eyes. "Never would have met her if I hadn't gone there by motorbike ... alone"

I slam the locker door. I don't mean to spaz out, it's just a reflex that I'm ashamed of in the next second 'cause Tan and Street are both staring.

"Oh, sorry", I say as casually as possible. I force my facial muscles to twist into a contrived smile that I hope looks easy. It makes my whole face hurt. "But don't stop, Street, we wanna hear all about Emilia. Name sounds pretty cool for a start. She European or something?"

Why, why do I do this to myself? If I hear one more single word about Emilia, I'm afraid there will be more damage than some scratches in my locker door.

Whoa ... what? Calm down, Chris. Didn't I come here for being friends again with Street? Why the hell do I care for that Emilia then? Feel so strongly about her? That kiss was just alcohol, nothing more. I have to remind me of that. Again and again, until I finally get it right.

It shouldn't be this hard. Why is it this hard? Can somebody please tell me?

"She's from Germany actually, yeah", Street confirms. He still has this weird voice I've never heard on him before. "And she's vegan, too. You know what, she actually opened my eyes a little bit when it comes to animal rights and stuff! Did you two know that a regular chicken from meat industry usually sees daylight for the first time when it's roasted for a barbecue? Or that it got more space in the oven than alife? Made me stop ordering chicken wings for lunch."

Somehow, his words make my hands shake in anger. It's not his talk about veganism. In fact, I didn't know that about chicken and it probably would be shocking, but it gets drowned by the subtext.

Which is very simple: Emilia is so great, Emilia even makes me stop eating chicken wings, Emilia has only been in my life for two weeks and has already took over it. Emilia is everything.

"Cool", I say because nothing else comes to my mind. "Well, anyway, I gotta go .. see you tomorrow!"

There's no need to talk to him anymore, right? Because obviously, he went on with his life and doesn't need me anymore. Emilia is now there to comfort him and talk to him and maybe she even knows something about motorbikes if she's so great.

I just wanna get out of here.