Chapter 75

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"Snowflakes fall down
And fall apart little by little
I miss you, I miss you
I miss you, I miss you
How long do I have to wait?
How many nights do I have to pass?
To see you
To meet you

I try to exhale you in pain
Like smoke, like white smoke
I say that I'll erase you
But I can't really let you go yet"

-Spring Day, BTS

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2 YEARS AND 3 MONTHS LATER


Jungkook's POV

It had been a tiring day. Today too, even after spending so much thought and time on the music, nothing good came out of it.

I looked out the window and noticed that the weather was changing. Grey clouds that had been veiling the sky all day long, were becoming darker and thicker.

I exited the building and went to my fixed shop. Without asking anything, the owner gave me the bottle and I paid him. I drove back home, the last place where she had been.

I could tell that the others were also in the house, but as of now, no one was visible. Clutching the bottle in one hand and a glass in another, I went to the balcony.

A bolt of lightning flashed across the sky followed by a thunder. Neither the moon nor a single star was visible in the sky.

I uncorked the bottle, filled the glass and took a long sip from it.

"Taraa..." I sighed. "I have to give you a good news. Since the day you left, I couldn't seem to control my drinking. But now...I have. A little help from doctor and hyungs, and I was able to control this addiction. I feel proud. That's why...today, I am only celebrating. Don't scold me, okay? Its really just for today."

I didn't know why I was speaking all this. That too, to a non-existent person.

I glanced up at the sky, looking desperately for a single star. But I couldn't find any. Raindrops had started to fall.

"My star...my Taraa...where are you?" My eyes filled with tears and my vision blurred. I didn't try to stop the tears from falling. I took another sip.

"Love, nothing has been the same since you left us. Namjoon-hyung loses his cool too easily. Whenever he reads a book, I have noticed that he couldn't help but let his tears fall. Its as if it reminds him of you. Jin-hyung doesn't crack jokes anymore. All this time, he hasn't tried to make some new dish as he used to. If not for Namjoon, I can't even imagine how he would have become. Hobi-hyung is no longer the optimistic one and his brightness has dimmed. He ends up crying silently in the dance room. Yoongi-hyung...well, what should I say about him? He only joins us for work and rarely gets out of his room. Its like he has gone back to being the 18 years old Min Yoongi. And Jimin-hyung...even though I don't put the snacks on the top shelf like I used to do to tease him, never once does he touch them. But sometimes when it gets too much for everyone, he is the most sane out of all of us. Always the strongest. Jinhee and him are each other's support. But you know who has taken the blow the hardest? Tae-hyung. He has changed completely. So much that its concerning for all of us. He doesn't talk much and rarely smiles. He also loses his cool too fast but then ends up ugly crying. Its so...painful, seeing him like this. All of them like this. Why did you have to punish them like this for my wrongdoings?"

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